What Were Some of Your Life Changing Moments?

[xotoxi]

Shoving the barrel of a hand gun into a mans face and pulling the trigger was pretty life changing for me. It made me realize how capable I was was of losing control of myself.
Had I remembered to remove the safety first, it probably would have been even more life changing.

You're right. It would have been a helluva mess to clean up. Plus, you would have had to drag the body (dead weight) and heft it into your trunk. Then digging the shallow grave.

Then spending the rest of your life wracked with paranoia, looking over your shoulder constantly, and experiencing the palpitations everytime you hear a police siren.

Yeah...it's good that you left the safety on.

 

[Luissa]

I would say labor, the worst 27 hours of my life.
The birth of my son, the best moment.
When I got arrested both times.
When my son learned how to give hugs.

 

[WillowTree]

I think we have many of those moments in our lives. One that sticks in my mind at the moment was walking out of the court house in San Bernardino, Ca. I was eighteen and free. I knew in my heart God had set me free. I had been in an abusive marriage for a little over three years. When I had gone into the courthouse for the divorce hearing it was overcast and I was as nervous as could be. I rode in the elevator up to the floor where the courtrooms were with two very large black men. They had stepped into the elevator right behind me and the door shut. I did not get nervous about that until one made a comment to the other about how cute I was. By the time I got into the courtroom I was a nervous wreck. This was back in the day "do it yourself" divorces were still a new thing. I had been waiting for months for this day and I was scared to death of my soon to be ex. He was like being near a time bomb that you never knew when it would go off.

I sat at the back of the gallery so I could watch and see if the ex came into the courtroom. The room was full of people. My case was called first. I thought oh great. I was hoping I would get to watch someone else to see how this was all done before it was my turn.

Then I decided this might be a good thing I don't have to wait for everyone else. I walked up to where the man by the judge instructed me and sat in the seat where one testifies. I am sitting there looking back at the gallery of people and getting very nervous. Something like stage fright.

Then the judge started asking me questions. After a round of questions I'm thinking, this ain't to bad. I started to relax a bit as the judge read through my paperwork and asked his questions. My responses were yes sir and no sir. There was a slew of questions about the last few months of support, visits and the children and such. Then he asked, "Does Mr.... have a job?" I told him that I was unsure at the moment and explained what I knew from the latest news I had on him. Then the judge asked, "Is Mr.... physically handicapped?" I told him no sir not that I know of. Then he asked, "Is Mr... mentally impaired?" I said, well your honor if you ask me. The whole gallery of people started laughing. I must have turned twenty shades of red. The judge picked up his gavel and pounded it on his desk to silence the crowd. The judge real off his order so fast I could not understand what he said. Then he turned to me and said, "Young lady. I want you to go home and add up everything it takes you and your children to live on each month. Do not forget to add toothpaste, toilet paper and other needs you and the children have each month. Do you understand me? I answered yes sir. He said after you get that done you come back and see me, okay. I said yes sir and then I was instructed to go by the court guy. Before I moved though I looked at the judge and he said Is something wrong? I asked him, does that mean I divorce now? He said yes.

I walked out of the court room, got into the elevator and felt as light as air. When I walked out of the building I walked into the sunshine. I felt like I was free for the first time ever. I thanked God for setting me free.

Man that must have been a good day.. Did the Ex.. pay the ordered support?

 

[RodISHI]

Man that must have been a good day.. Did the Ex.. pay the ordered support?

I did not go back into that courthouse for almost ten years. He did not call, write or send birthday cards. I called his mom's house once to let her know I was bringing the children to visit (I'd take them to CA to see the grandparents every year). He answered the phone. I asked him if he could find it in his heart to send fifty dollars a month as they were needing more than I could afford at that point (teen boppers). He was kinda nasty about that simple request so I spent over a year tracking him down to serve him with papers so I could get a child support amount set. By law he had to be served and notified before a judge could set an amount.

The day I went back to court, (it was a drive from ID to CA). Rod was with me and we sat in the courtroom that the notice had scheduled. I sat there and waited for the name as the judge read off a roll call. My name never was called so I stood up and asked the judge why. He said that my hearing was set in another courtroom later that day. I told Rod, that guy is his attorney. Rod said, no he's a judge. Later we got into the other courtroom and there he was the pretending judge attorney one in the same. The guy was on his way to possibly becoming a judge. He was called in when certain judges were on vacation. It was weird. Anyhow the judge in the case ended up admonishing this guy and basically told him to shut up during an in chambers meeting. He hired this high powered attorney and tried to claim rights at that point.

The CA system requires a family to go through counselor. The counselor makes the call. He lost his temper in front of the counselor, slammed his fist down and spilled out his demands. It did not go well for him.

His attorney tried to intimidate me. I told him the ex was welcome to fly on up to ID and I would be happy to let him see the children. Ended up this guy was screaming at me in his office that I could take a flying.....f when I told him the ex could see the children anytime he wanted.

I ended up getting scared, broke down borrowed money from my grandmother to pay an attorney. The guy was a whimp and a half.

Long term I determine it would be best if he would be ordered to pay $500.00 per month from the court date it was ordered onward....If I had let the court determine what he was to pay it would have been around seven grand a month. Knowing he would never pay any of it if it were that high I told the attorney 500. I got about six grand from him at one point when he owed 13,000. He claimed he paid more. CA was having problems with child support enforcement embezzlers, so who knows. He still owes $17,000.00 I doubt I'll ever see it. Children are grown with their own children now. I told him at my daughter's wedding I'd be collecting one day. I also told him he was an ass, he agreed. He told me how tough life got for him after that divorce. Described what all he went through, half starving, eating out of dumpsters, etc.... I told him you deserved worse, he agreed. It was no fun at all he agreed with every snide remark I made about him. He just laughed and told me he deserved whatever happened to him and how sorry he was. I probably could have punched him in the nose and he would have said he deserved it.

 

[alan1]

Shoving the barrel of a hand gun into a mans face and pulling the trigger was pretty life changing for me. It made me realize how capable I was was of losing control of myself.
Had I remembered to remove the safety first, it probably would have been even more life changing.

You're right. It would have been a helluva mess to clean up. Plus, you would have had to drag the body (dead weight) and heft it into your trunk. Then digging the shallow grave.

Then spending the rest of your life wracked with paranoia, looking over your shoulder constantly, and experiencing the palpitations everytime you hear a police siren.

Yeah...it's good that you left the safety on.

I was at work when it happened. Graveyard shift at a 7-11. I still got arrested.

 

[Luissa]

Another life changing moment for me would have to be when my brother was shot, he was seventeen and I was fourteen. That night while in the room alone with him since my parents were filling out paperwork I watched the doctor pull out fragments out of his face. I grew up sheltered and it was the first time I realized that life is not always simple and easy. It also changed my relationship with my brother, we became a lot closer after that.
My family also learned how to forgive, my brother for one always felt bad he didn't tell the kid he forgave him because he was just a kid the same age as my brother who just made some bad choices. He is out of jail now and my brother gets $40 a month from him and from what we have heard he changed his life and he obviously has worked ever since getting out of prison.