What pickup lines do you know work?

I invented this pickup. I learnt how to laugh like a horse and I sound pretty good. I met this girl the other day at the party, and I used this. She asked me, why I laughed like a horse. And I told her, that I used to be a horse but one fine day the barn door fell out and I galloped away. I happily galloped through fields and hills along the flowery forest path, until all of the sudden a wicked witch jumped in front of me, and I had to emergency stop so hard I came to a screeching halt. Then she leaned ahead to me and this is what she said. Horsie borsie morsie worsie, galloping like a pony, be a human at once! And so she turned me into human. Then I asked her, but now how will I gallop, and more importantly, who will ride me? To which she answered the following. Travel through seven cities and seven seas, seven countries and seven deeds, there you will find <her name>, she will ride you.

Whehehehe. I am seeing this girl again tonight.

What pickup lines do you know that you have seen work?

This girl asked me about my childhood

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
 
I flew business jets for 15 years. I noticed a trend. Most of the male passengers were old and as often as not, ugly or fat. Many had horrible personalities and deplorable manners. Yet for some reason, they never lacked the company of beautiful women.

Never quite figured that out. But now I get it. They had great pick up lines.:shock:

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My God, are you OK? Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?

If I told you, you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?
 
Hey baby, your daddy must own a juice factory because you are Very Fine. :D
The classic hey baby line.


Hey baby lemme lay my dick on yo' fo'head!

That particular improvised "hey baby" line worked for me once.

I was hanging out with some friends in a park at the crossroads. There was only one female among the five of us in the group. The female that we all knew had recently developed some T&A and was no longer just cute little Lisa to us guys. She was now hot Lisa. You couldn't even look at her without getting a boner.

She was the prize.

So we were hanging out at the crossroads and this other good looking girl came walking by. The other guys scared her off by hollering stupid shit at her. Hey baby nice ass. Nice tits. etc, etc... even though the girl was obviously intimidated and started walking away quickly.

Guess who had sex with Lisa later that day. It's the guy who yelled something so fucking absurd with his very loud baritone voice that it made her laugh and made all of those other inconsiderate long-haired pot smoking, acid tripping, beer drinking, gun-toting, drug dealing heathens STFU.
 
Hey baby, your daddy must own a juice factory because you are Very Fine. :D
The classic hey baby line.


Hey baby lemme lay my dick on yo' fo'head!

That particular improvised "hey baby" line worked for me once.

I was hanging out with some friends in a park at the crossroads. There was only one female among the five of us in the group. The female that we all knew had recently developed some T&A and was no longer just cute little Lisa to us guys. She was now hot Lisa. You couldn't even look at her without getting a boner.

She was the prize.

So we were hanging out at the crossroads and this other good looking girl came walking by. The other guys scared her off by hollering stupid shit at her. Hey baby nice ass. Nice tits. etc, etc... even though the girl was obviously intimidated and started walking away quickly.

Guess who had sex with Lisa later that day. It's the guy who yelled something so fucking absurd with his very loud baritone voice that it made her laugh and made all of those other inconsiderate long-haired pot smoking, acid tripping, beer drinking, gun-toting, drug dealing heathens STFU.

Errr. Thanks for sharing?
 
My God, are you OK? Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?

If I told you, you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?


"Do you vant to come back to my place, bouncy-bouncy, I am no longer infected".
 
My God, are you OK? Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?

If I told you, you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?


"Do you vant to come back to my place, bouncy-bouncy, I am no longer infected".

You are terrible at this.

I have no imagination (like Muhammad up there). But I do have a memory like a steel trap.



I take the braggadocio on the internet with a grain of salt. :D
 

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