What pickup lines do you know work?

Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by anotherlife, Aug 18, 2016.

  1. sealybobo
    Offline

    sealybobo Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    60,180
    Thanks Received:
    3,806
    Trophy Points:
    1,845
    Location:
    Michigan
    Ratings:
    +13,070
    This girl asked me about my childhood

    My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  2. williepete
    Offline

    williepete Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2011
    Messages:
    2,861
    Thanks Received:
    1,052
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Location:
    Troposphere
    Ratings:
    +3,431
    (Coffee shoots out of nose).

    I'd be too afraid that line would work.:eek-52:
     
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 1
  3. williepete
    Offline

    williepete Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2011
    Messages:
    2,861
    Thanks Received:
    1,052
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Location:
    Troposphere
    Ratings:
    +3,431
    I flew business jets for 15 years. I noticed a trend. Most of the male passengers were old and as often as not, ugly or fat. Many had horrible personalities and deplorable manners. Yet for some reason, they never lacked the company of beautiful women.

    Never quite figured that out. But now I get it. They had great pick up lines.:shock:

    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  4. ricechickie
    Offline

    ricechickie Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2014
    Messages:
    6,612
    Thanks Received:
    1,786
    Trophy Points:
    280
    Location:
    New York
    Ratings:
    +6,970
    "I've got some duct tape and a shovel in my trunk. All that's missing could be you."

    ;)
     
  5. ChrisL
    Offline

    ChrisL Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2014
    Messages:
    70,775
    Thanks Received:
    19,858
    Trophy Points:
    2,320
    Location:
    Wherever the wild things are!!
    Ratings:
    +46,399
    I don't know who you think THAT would work on! :uhh: Some peeps are into some strange things though.
     
  6. norwegen
    Offline

    norwegen Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2013
    Messages:
    5,017
    Thanks Received:
    1,070
    Trophy Points:
    265
    Location:
    Daytona Beach, FL
    Ratings:
    +4,168
    "I haven't been arrested in more than ten years."
     
  7. CrusaderFrank
    Online

    CrusaderFrank Diamond Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2009
    Messages:
    88,003
    Thanks Received:
    16,096
    Trophy Points:
    2,210
    Ratings:
    +47,249
    "I post at USMB as Rdean...wait, come back"
     
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 1
  8. ricechickie
    Offline

    ricechickie Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2014
    Messages:
    6,612
    Thanks Received:
    1,786
    Trophy Points:
    280
    Location:
    New York
    Ratings:
    +6,970
    "Do you live more than 500 yards from a school?"
     
  9. Lewdog
    Offline

    Lewdog Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Messages:
    12,316
    Thanks Received:
    1,416
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Ratings:
    +6,853
    Tell me if this smells like chloform.
     
  10. deanrd
    Offline

    deanrd Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2017
    Messages:
    4,089
    Thanks Received:
    528
    Trophy Points:
    150
    Ratings:
    +3,193
    My God, are you OK? Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?

    If I told you, you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?
     

Share This Page