What Do You Call This?

[Madeline]

According to the media, most folks panic about aging when they turn a "Big O" type birthday, but like the pain in the ass that I am, I have never had my panic attacks on schedule. In a few weeks, I will be 57. Probably due to my horrendous math skills, it has finally dawned on me that I might not be "middle aged" anymore. After all, I don't reasonably expect (nor wish) to live to be 114 years old.

So, okie dokie, I'm not young. I'm not middle aged. But I'm not old yet, I dun think. (I keep pushing back the definition of "old"; I used to be sure 70 year olds were "old" but these days, I'm not so sure.) I'm not a "senior" (somehow that just feels too academic), I'm not "mature" (never really held that as a goal, I admit), so just exactly WTF am I?

We need a new language for aging in this country, and new visions of what aging means. When I was young, women my age were almost interchangable. Same clothing, same hair styles, same everything. Men clung to viability a bit longer, but eventually fell into society's junk heap as well. I'm unsure what the hell to buy in clothing stores anymore. Am I still jeans-eligible? I want rebellious clothing, fun clothing, cool clothing -- but is that even possible now?

I finally let my hair color go natural. Lots of white, a little brown -- it ain't a bad color, actually. No one has seen my natural hair color in thirty years; even I didn't know what to expect. And whether it is a perception problem or not, this past week I noticed my first crow's feet. There is absolutely no doubt, I look my age.

But what does that mean? I remember the ladies of a certain age from my youth as a mostly invisible group of people useful mainly for cooking and cleaning. Well, I never learned to cook and pretty much I clean when the spirit moves me.

I hope you young snots appreciate how hard it is to keep inventing new ways of being in the world for you to adapt when your turn comes.

*Winks*

 

[editec]

My theory is that youth ends at 30, and middle-age ends at 60, and the age of venerable decrepitude begins at 90.

Your mileage may vary depending on driving circumstances.

As to what to wear and how to conduct yourself?

Do right!
Use your head.
Everybody must get fed.
Get together!
Break some bread.
Do what you like, now
That's what I said.
DOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
Youuuuuuuuuuuu like.​

Blind Faith​

 

[Madeline]

♥

 

[sparky]

age is such an objective-subjetive thing.....

~S~

 

[Madeline]

I wish.

Old, older, oldest -- dead.

Seems pretty objective to me.

 

[chanel]

I married an older man. I will always feel young compared to him. Lol

Two of my closest friends have become grandmoms. I told them they have now become officially "old people"

 

[sparky]

well Maddy, i suppose it pays to NOT be oldest....


~S~

 

[editec]

age is such an objective-subjetive thing.....

~S~

It sure is, spark.

Remember back in day when we were subjected to being objectivified by the pretty young girlies as little more than stud-muffin sex toys?

Now that subject sedom comes up and I object.

 

[chanel]

I do believe older women should dress age appropriately though. There is a difference between sexy and slutty. 30 -40-50 somethings should know the difference. Dressing like a 20 year old is just pathetic and sad to me,

 

[editec]

Not just older women, older men, too.

When I see some clown my age wearing his baseball cap backwards, (assuming that if he's NOT catching in a basball game or welding, of course) I just want to bitch slap the idiot and tell him that he's too old to be making fashion statements reserved for children.

 

[chanel]

Are you my husband? That is too funny. He just told a friend of ours the same thing. Told him he's been holding in for 20 years and just couldn't do it anymore. He said anyone over the age 18 should be forbidden.

 

[Barb]

Happy soon to be birthday, Maddie.
WTF are you? You're 37, with 20 years experience.

 

[Granny]

I do believe older women should dress age appropriately though. There is a difference between sexy and slutty. 30 -40-50 somethings should know the difference. Dressing like a 20 year old is just pathetic and sad to me,

What is "age appropriate"? Should we wear chenille housecoats? Muu-muus? Stodgy house dresses properly belted? Dark colors? Proper oxford-type shoes - preferably black, maybe brown?

I'm 66 years old and as long as I have a face and body that makes people shocked that I'm 15-18 years older than they think I am - I'm going with style. I don't (and never did) wear what was "in style" from one year to the next, DON'T want the same haircut that every other woman has (currently the pretty-much tapered cut that curls in toward the face/neck), and other stuff that women do to lose their individuality or what doesn't look good on them because "everybody else does it".

I don't do "old" ... but my "DO NOT WEAR" list includes things like bikinis, mini anything, 5-inch heels, etc. Women my age used to say, "Where do you shop? I can never find anything like what you wear." I shopped the same places they did - only I shopped in "Misses" and they shopped in "old women." Now that I'm retired and don't have to look like I just stepped out of a bandbox I pretty much go casual - but the stylish clothes I used to wear to work are still there if I have an occasion where dressing up would be appropriate.

Maddie, unless you weight 500 pounds ... wear your jeans, kick back and relax. You're not imprisoned in "black only" ... wear some color - it's good for the soul.

 

[Zoom-boing]

When my one brother turned 40 I wrote him a little ditty for his birthday. This was part of it.

"Everyone gets older, it's a scientific fact
But not everyone gets old, and that requires quite a knack
Your state of mind determines your outlook on everything else
And yours is pretty good, in fact it's one of the best."

Age is what is it. Best thing about it? Everyone ages (well, unless they die ). What is young today will one day be my age, your age, our parent's age. No getting around it so concerning yourself about it is wasted energy, imo.

Age is whatever you determine it to be. Older has it's pros/cons . . . just as younger does. Enjoying being now and don't worry about the rest. At least, that's always been how I've approached it.

 

[trams]

I gave up worrying about it yrs ago.No hair stuff,No hair club for men( why is it leaving my head to reside in my ears) No six pack-It is a 18 pack, and why is it that every heart or high blood pressure medicine I take gives me the shits. My ass is fine my heart isnt. Rant over

 

[Madeline]

I'm also retired, Granny. I wear what I want, period. Sometimes, it's a housedress. (Can't arrest me. I'm not naked.) Sometimes, jeans. Rarely make up. It is true, most times people scarcely notice me, but I kinda sorta like that. I finally get the privacy in public thing I have yearned for ever since I left New York.

57 is a weird age. I can play for Dignity, Pathos or Wisdom...none of which I have much of, but none of which I could pull off at 47. I look much more pathetic when I cry, which I most certainly plan to do when I go to court on my traffic tickets. (For $300 I'd do a whole lot more than just cry; I got tagged for 42 in a 25.)

But I still feel like me. Snotty, aggravating, funny, just a little bit goofy. I want clothes that say this, same as bumper stickers for my car that will almost certainly annoy the drivers of more expensive vehicles.

 

[Granny]

I'm also retired, Granny. I wear what I want, period. Sometimes, it's a housedress. (Can't arrest me. I'm not naked.) Sometimes, jeans. Rarely make up. It is true, most times people scarcely notice me, but I kinda sorta like that. I finally get the privacy in public thing I have yearned for ever since I left New York.

57 is a weird age. I can play for Dignity, Pathos or Wisdom...none of which I have much of, but none of which I could pull off at 47. I look much more pathetic when I cry, which I most certainly plan to do when I go to court on my traffic tickets. (For $300 I'd do a whole lot more than just cry; I got tagged for 42 in a 25.)

But I still feel like me. Snotty, aggravating, funny, just a little bit goofy. I want clothes that say this, same as bumper stickers for my car that will almost certainly annoy the drivers of more expensive vehicles.

Do we know each other? We aren't related or anything?

I'm pretty much that way (except for the traffic tickets and bumper stickers). I may be a little ahead of you ... like when I put on my Danskin stretchy stuff to take walks. I'm sorry - that stuff is awesome - it's got some kind of water-wicking stuff in the fabric - all I know is it's comfy as all get-out and I don't have sweat rolling all over me. Now if I could only go walking again ... I have an aversion to heat stroke and boy has it been brutal here the last week or two. (No, I don't believe in global warming - it's just plain old-fashioned Southern summer days like I've had all my life ... except when I lived in Buffalo.)

I rarely wear make-up unless I'm going somewhere. I'm all for comfort these days. The ability to cry has been ... well ... difficult. I've finally learned it's OK to cry. Hell of a good feeling to have the ability to cry.

As for "privacy" these telecommunication commercials make me shake my head: We've got phones and other stuff now that have an app for this, an app for that, an app for the other - hell, the only thing they're missing is an app to pick up toilet paper and wipe the user's ass. I can barely use my plain little old cell phone - and frankly now that I've retired I have NO desire to stay THAT connected to the world. What do people do with these things? There cannot possibly be anything all that important or urgent to need to camp outside the Apple place for two weeks waiting to be the first to have the next new gizmo.

Here's to retirement and gutsy old broads ... ... ... ...

 

[uscitizen]

LMAO
dress codes based on age of an adult?

Damned socialism!

Strange how my pants want to fall down now like a sub teenagers do.