What Are You Best At?

[Amanda]

I'm good at being nice.

only when you're sober tho.

Uh oh... what did I say? I know I tend to use swear words when I drink but did I actually say something mean? I don't remember...

 

[random3434]

I'm good at not ending a sentence with a preposition!

I've noticed that you don't end yer sentences with a proposition either.

Only to the lucky ones.

 

[alan1]

I'm good at not ending a sentence with a preposition!

I've noticed that you don't end yer sentences with a proposition either.

Only to the lucky ones.

So much for relying on my charm.

 

[necritan]

I'm really good at launching metallic objects at supersonic speed at targets with extreme precision.

I also play guitar rather well...(heavy metal only)....no gay stuff.

I am a decent provider.

I am quite versed in the ways of the "Horizontal Mambo".....and nothing is icky or bad to me....its all goooood.

 

[alan1]

I'm good at being nice.

only when you're sober tho.

Uh oh... what did I say? I know I tend to use swear words when I drink but did I actually say something mean? I don't remember...

I don't think DilloDuck wants to publicly post those PM's...................

 

[random3434]

I've noticed that you don't end yer sentences with a proposition either.

Only to the lucky ones.

So much for relying on my charm.

 

[alan1]

Only to the lucky ones.

So much for relying on my charm.

Bwahahahaha

 

[random3434]

So much for relying on my charm.

Bwahahahaha

I think we've found your new avatar~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[alan1]

Bwahahahaha

I think we've found your new avatar~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not until I get my new user name.

 

[random3434]

Bwahahahaha

I think we've found your new avatar~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not until I get my new user name.

Drunken Irish Boy?


Manly, yes, but I like it too?

Finnian of Clonard, not Conduct?

The Yeltic Celtic?

 

[del]

I think we've found your new avatar~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not until I get my new user name.

Drunken Irish Boy?


Manly, yes, but I like it too?

Finnian of Clonard, not Conduct?

The Yeltic Celtic?

the hibernian hurler?

 

[Amanda]

only when you're sober tho.

Uh oh... what did I say? I know I tend to use swear words when I drink but did I actually say something mean? I don't remember...

I don't think DilloDuck wants to publicly post those PM's...................

If it was only in PMs I'm not worried about it.

 

[Truthspeaker]

I hate to brag but: I am never confused, read Greek Stoic philosophy daily, and give exact and easy to understand directions, friends confide in me, and waiters ask me for serving advice. One week, I discovered the meaning of life, defined the characteristics of dumb luck, and improved suspender design. After hearing my yodeling women ask me to divorce my wife, children cry, and dogs bark in unison. I have made fireworks safe for children, cured ambiguity, and redesigned go go joints so everyone can see.

While another year has flown by I appeared on Letterman and Leno, wrote a short thousand page autobiography and won a most improved badminton player award fans still pester me with autograph requests. Like most I am guilty of resting on past laurels. I managed to swim the English Channel, ski Kilimanjaro and rearrange my sock drawer. Swimming the channel in January led me to a new fabric discovery for cold weather and a non greasy petroleum jelly. My work day usually begins with yoga meditation, dynamic cycling, and a friendly chat with the prostitutes still out at dawn, usually we kibitz about the dynamics of interpersonal relationships and economies of scale.

This winter I part timed as a taxi driver and quickly became adept at driving in circles and perfecting an exotic sounding accent. Borrowing a picture from a United Way poster for my family I garnered the highest tips of all drivers in one month, United Way thanked me for the largest individual gift ever given by a cab driver, and I was nominated to the cabbie hall of fame. While improving my driving skills I also improved on the gestures of taxi drivers by adding three new arm gestures used only in tight situations. Drawn to invention, I made a sun tan lotion for drivers that works three times more efficiently on the left arm. In Britain it has the opposite effect.

With just two weeks of practice I became an expert in rodeo, quickly taming the fiercest bull with lines from Shakespearean sonnets. One month I managed a space shuttle flight, refurbished toy soldiers, and lost more weight than Jared on my meatball and peanut butter diet. This allowed me to fulfill a dream to jockey in the Kentucky Derby. With binoculars from the dollar store I discovered two new galaxies and my big toe is more accurate than the national weather service. I have studied the migration patterns of homing pigeons, calculated a leisurely drive to the closest solar system, and my advertising ideas have greatly improved tourism in Antarctica.

My help column has been translated into 14 languages and Oprah frequently emails me for advice. Not content with chasing tornadoes I have chased heavy rain and dense fog. I am alone in a crowd, always agree to disagree, and have discovered the same difference with an exact estimate. My upbeat poetry is read as therapy in Norway, and I was nominated for citizen of the year awards by the Jehovah Witnesses and Playboy magazine. My humming voice is insured by Lords of London. In just a week I invented noiseless straws, rocking chairs that don't ruin rugs, and hammocks for yards with just one tree. My lottery predictions are so accurate I was asked by six states to stop publishing them and in November I published a treatise on feminism in prehistoric America. While this was a slow year for me I hope to accomplish more in 2009.

PS I checked all of the above.

About those lottery predictions.....Is that how Oprah got so rich? I'm a nice guy too. We could be like....best friends

 

[alan1]

Uh oh... what did I say? I know I tend to use swear words when I drink but did I actually say something mean? I don't remember...

I don't think DilloDuck wants to publicly post those PM's...................

If it was only in PMs I'm not worried about it.

I've heard that dillo is a good enough person to not share that sort of thing.

 

[Truthspeaker]

I'm really good at launching metallic objects at supersonic speed at targets with extreme precision.

I also play guitar rather well...(heavy metal only)....no gay stuff.

I am a decent provider.

I am quite versed in the ways of the "Horizontal Mambo".....and nothing is icky or bad to me....its all goooood.

Shooting is pretty cool. It's really hard to be good.

 

[Amanda]

I'm really good at launching metallic objects at supersonic speed at targets with extreme precision.

I also play guitar rather well...(heavy metal only)....no gay stuff.

I am a decent provider.

I am quite versed in the ways of the "Horizontal Mambo".....and nothing is icky or bad to me....its all goooood.

Shooting is pretty cool. It's really hard to be good.

what's hard about shooting?

 

[necritan]

I'm really good at launching metallic objects at supersonic speed at targets with extreme precision.

I also play guitar rather well...(heavy metal only)....no gay stuff.

I am a decent provider.

I am quite versed in the ways of the "Horizontal Mambo".....and nothing is icky or bad to me....its all goooood.

Shooting is pretty cool. It's really hard to be good.

Yeah.....chicks dig it too....dunno why...they just do. Something about having control over the loud boom-stick....

 

[Dis]

I'm really good at launching metallic objects at supersonic speed at targets with extreme precision.

I also play guitar rather well...(heavy metal only)....no gay stuff.

I am a decent provider.

I am quite versed in the ways of the "Horizontal Mambo".....and nothing is icky or bad to me....its all goooood.

Shooting is pretty cool. It's really hard to be good.

Yeah.....chicks dig it too....dunno why...they just do. Something about having control over the loud boom-stick....

Methinks they're playing you.. There's not a damned thing exciting about watching a guy (no matter HOW he may be built) firing a gun.

 

[strollingbones]

i am an excellent cook...not that you can tell it by my lemon merginue soup pie..today ....also an excellent shot..and i can skin and clean most animals

 

[alan1]

Not until I get my new user name.

Drunken Irish Boy?


Manly, yes, but I like it too?

Finnian of Clonard, not Conduct?

The Yeltic Celtic?

the hibernian hurler?

Ya'll are too cruel.