!! We Must Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide!!

[WillMunny]

I should also mention that car engines use dihydrogen monoxide in their radiator system to cool off. And everyone knows that drinking any substance you put in your car's mechanisms leads to an excruciating, poisoning death.

 

[Pogo]

This chemical is so deadly, breathing the tiniest amount of it causes chronic choking fits and breathing large amounts will kill you by suffocation. Also, in dihydrogen monoxide's solid form, it has killed a giganjtic number of people through hypothermia. This substance was even instrumental in the sinking of the Titanic. It's also been known to completely annihilate pristine coastal habitats and coastal human civilizations from time to time. In its gaseous form it causes dry-rot in wooden houses. If I'm not mistaken it's also a "greenhouse gas" I'm sure plays a role in our planet's climate.

Yep, I'm positive we must rid the world of this dihydrogen monoxide danger! Who's with me?

I'm such a badass, a little while ago I streamed this substance all over my body.
Then I drank some.

Last weekend it was LITERALLY falling from the sky.

And I'll bet it was a brutally painful, scary experience, yes?

Can't believe I survived. I hear tell there were those east of me who didn't.

 

[WillMunny]

I also found out that in deep, ocean trenches, dihydrogen monoxide actually reaches such extreme, mind-blowing physical pressures, it literally crushes any man-made object sent into oceans depths. Very expediently, I might add......and people actually take this metal-crushing shit into their bodies?? I say be safe and only consume liquid ethanol.

 

[BULLDOG]

This chemical is so deadly, breathing the tiniest amount of it causes chronic choking fits and breathing large amounts will kill you by suffocation. Also, in dihydrogen monoxide's solid form, it has killed a giganjtic number of people through hypothermia. This substance was even instrumental in the sinking of the Titanic. It's also been known to completely annihilate pristine coastal habitats and coastal human civilizations from time to time. In its gaseous form it causes dry-rot in wooden houses. If I'm not mistaken it's also a "greenhouse gas" I'm sure plays a role in our planet's climate.

Yep, I'm positive we must rid the world of this dihydrogen monoxide danger! Who's with me?

You're tricking right wingers and junior high students who failed science all over the country. Everybody else is just embarrassed for such a childish attempt at a joke.

Wow, junior high? You must be taking about public school students.

Actually, some years ago Penn & Teller went to UC Berkley, of all places, with a petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide and incredibly, it got almost 200 signatures before they found a student smart enough to figure it out. It's further proof that universities don't teach any practical, useful knowledge; they only teach people to be perpetually butthurt malcontents.

I can see some college students who weren't involved with the chemistry department not remembering their Jr High classes, but they had been taught that even if they forgot it.

 

[ABikerSailor]

Look how quickly a splash of dihydrogen monoxide killed the alien in the movie Signs. Does anyone really want that to happen to them?

Don't forget, Dorothy used it to take out the Wicked Witch of the West too.

 

[WillMunny]

Look how quickly a splash of dihydrogen monoxide killed the alien in the movie Signs. Does anyone really want that to happen to them?

Don't forget, Dorothy used it to take out the Wicked Witch of the West too.

You know, I'm glad you mentioned that because I had forgotten: if dihydrogen monoxide can make a green-skinned humanoid literally disintegrate into steam, or cause the vaguely humanoid alien in "Signs" to die in seconds from a really bad burn (to the awesome, swirling musical crescendos of any Shyamalan climax), it can't possibly be that great for us actual human beings, either.

 

[ABikerSailor]

dihydrogen monoxide......................did you know fish have sex in that stuff?

 

[Lewdog]

dihydrogen monoxide......................did you know fish have sex in that stuff?

They pee and poop in it too. Sounds like a Trump sex tape.

 

[gtopa1]

`
According to trump, dihydrogen monoxide is tremendously wet.

It can be tremendously dry.

Greg

 

[gtopa1]

Look how quickly a splash of dihydrogen monoxide killed the alien in the movie Signs. Does anyone really want that to happen to them?

"Melting, melting....melting......"

Greg

 

[WillMunny]

dihydrogen monoxide......................did you know fish have sex in that stuff?

It's worse than that. Dihydrogen monoxide is full of fish semen; fish don't physically fuck and use the dihydrogen monoxide to spread their seed to the female eggs. I remember one time when I was snorkeling with a bunch of hostel-mates in the Cook Islands. We were on a beach with several families on it with plenty of small children, so when I came out of the water I announced really LOUD in front of these families, "NOW I NEED A SHOWER BECAUSE OCEAN WATER IS FULL OF FISH CUM!" The facial expressions of those around me are perhaps better imagined than described.

 

[hadit]

This chemical is so deadly, breathing the tiniest amount of it causes chronic choking fits and breathing large amounts will kill you by suffocation. Also, in dihydrogen monoxide's solid form, it has killed a giganjtic number of people through hypothermia. This substance was even instrumental in the sinking of the Titanic. It's also been known to completely annihilate pristine coastal habitats and coastal human civilizations from time to time. In its gaseous form it causes dry-rot in wooden houses. If I'm not mistaken it's also a "greenhouse gas" I'm sure plays a role in our planet's climate.

Yep, I'm positive we must rid the world of this dihydrogen monoxide danger! Who's with me?

You're tricking right wingers and junior high students who failed science all over the country. Everybody else is just embarrassed for such a childish attempt at a joke.

Wow, junior high? You must be taking about public school students.

Actually, some years ago Penn & Teller went to UC Berkley, of all places, with a petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide and incredibly, it got almost 200 signatures before they found a student smart enough to figure it out. It's further proof that universities don't teach any practical, useful knowledge; they only teach people to be perpetually butthurt malcontents.

They learn to react emotionally instead of thinking.