Visit to Taco Bell

Discussion in 'Humor' started by SFC Ollie, Feb 16, 2011.

  1. SFC Ollie
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    SFC Ollie Still Marching

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    It could happen to any of us.

    $5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

    I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of
    change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said
    cheerfully.

    I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

    I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

    I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

    Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in
    front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

    "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with
    utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.

    "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

    I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the
    ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

    That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

    Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back
    seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially
    eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

    Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

    Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to
    finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I
    felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

    I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

    All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

    Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

    I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

    She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

    All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I
    was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the
    officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

    As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankie.

    The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
     
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  2. Grace
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    :clap2:
    :lol:
     
  3. Grace
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    Grace BANNED

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    Reminds me of when I go to the market. For years they have asked me if I needed help out with my bags of groceries and for years I have always given the same answer "when I'm 50, you can help me".

    Um. Wait a sec. I'm 58.
    I need to stop ogling buffed studmuffins too.
     
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  4. Rat in the Hat
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    Rat in the Hat Gold Member

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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
     
  5. RadiomanATL
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    RadiomanATL Senior Member

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    Hey Ollie,

    You owe me $2,000.

    Don't you remember?
     
  6. Mr. H.
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    Mr. H. Diamond Member

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    LOL that's a good'n. :thup:

    We were finishing up a meal at KFC when the daughter laughed and showed me the register receipt.
    The gal gave me a senior discount.
    I went back to the counter and paid the difference. :D
    Hell I was in denial for 5 years before joining AARP.
    Life goes on...
     
  7. rightwinger
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    rightwinger Paid Messageboard Poster Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Thanks.....that was funny
     
  8. Big Black Dog
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    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

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    Been there, done that.

    At first when I read the title of your post, I thought you were going to come visit my dog, Taco Bell. He likes company.
     
  9. SFC Ollie
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    SFC Ollie Still Marching

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    Dude, I already have a canceled check for that. Somewhere, I think, maybe............
     
  10. PoliticalChic
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    PoliticalChic Diamond Member

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    Oh....funny!

    But, Ollie...it has nothing to do with age...

    can't tell you how many times I've raced to another part of the house, and stood there,
    unable to remember why I went there!

    We call it roomnesia,
     

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