Virginity (saving oneself for marriage)

Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by Delia, Feb 19, 2013.

  1. Delia
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    Delia Truly, Madly, Deeply

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    What do you feel are the pros and cons of doing so? Can not waiting have a negative impact on the marriage?

    I did choose to wait, but I was blessed to be in a relationship with a man who was on the exact same page as I was. We are also blessed because it turns out we are perfectly compatible.

    Further! would you advise your daughter to wait?

    What about your son.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2013
  2. Montrovant
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    Montrovant Fuzzy bears!

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    I think that sexual compatibility is important, just as in other areas like spiritual and emotional compatibility. While saving yourself can work fine, I think it's also possible for 2 people to save themselves for marriage, then find out after they are married that their sexual tastes/proclivities don't mesh well.

    I'm of the opinion that people are probably better off living as though married for a time before actually getting married and having the legal complications of that. Too many marriages, IMO, fail because the courtship is too fast. That doesn't mean I advocate hopping into bed with anyone immediately, just that I think if you are in a long-term relationship with someone, knowing that you get along sexually is a good thing before you tie the knot.

    However, since I've never been married, only watched the marriages of others, my opinion may not be the best. :tongue:
     
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  3. AmyNation
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    AmyNation Road Warrior Supporting Member

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    Pros
    -knowing your partner has no one to compare you to
    -making sex more sacred
    -no worry of stds
    -learning together

    Cons
    -bad at it
    -don't find out your not sexually compatible until its too late
    -feeling of resentment for not having past expierence
     
  4. drifter
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    drifter Platinum Member

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    I suppose the advantage is if you are a virgin and he/she is a lousy lover you have nothing to compare it to.
     
  5. Delia
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    Delia Truly, Madly, Deeply

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    My aunt stopped speaking to my mom because my mom advocated waiting, and once she got married ... it didn't go well. So she blamed my mom.

    I figure she chose to take the advice, but other than that, I don't know. Maybe they can get it annulled?
     
  6. Delia
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    Delia Truly, Madly, Deeply

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    Additional questions have been added.
     
  7. AmyNation
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    AmyNation Road Warrior Supporting Member

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    I would advise my children to wait, until they're sure. Especially when your young, things of this nature move too quickly, from dating to breaking up. My niece changes boyfriends more often than I change the sheets :rolleyes:. You should savor the steps instead of rushing to the finish line.
     
  8. Delia
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    Delia Truly, Madly, Deeply

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    That makes sense. Nobody wants to look back and cringe.
     
  9. uscitizen
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    uscitizen Senior Member

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    I think marriage liscences should have a learners permit period just like drivers liscences.
     
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  10. Mr. H.
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    Mr. H. Diamond Member

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    Evil stepson told me I gave him the best adivce when he was a teenager. His mom wanted me to have "the talk" with him, so when I felt the time appropriate I simply said "screw as many women as you can before you get married, and by God always wear a rubber". :lol:

    Told our daughter that I hoped she has many boyfriends as she grows up so she can learn to tell the good ones from the bad ones before she decides to marry the right one.

    The sex thing? I didn't go there. :)
     
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