Virginity (saving oneself for marriage)

[Delia]

What do you feel are the pros and cons of doing so? Can not waiting have a negative impact on the marriage?

I did choose to wait, but I was blessed to be in a relationship with a man who was on the exact same page as I was. We are also blessed because it turns out we are perfectly compatible.

Further! would you advise your daughter to wait?

What about your son.

 

[Montrovant]

What do you feel are the pros and cons of doing so? Can not waiting have a negative impact on the marriage?

I did choose to wait, but I was blessed to be in a relationship with a man who was on the exact same page as I was. We are also blessed because it turns out we are perfectly compatible.

I think that sexual compatibility is important, just as in other areas like spiritual and emotional compatibility. While saving yourself can work fine, I think it's also possible for 2 people to save themselves for marriage, then find out after they are married that their sexual tastes/proclivities don't mesh well.

I'm of the opinion that people are probably better off living as though married for a time before actually getting married and having the legal complications of that. Too many marriages, IMO, fail because the courtship is too fast. That doesn't mean I advocate hopping into bed with anyone immediately, just that I think if you are in a long-term relationship with someone, knowing that you get along sexually is a good thing before you tie the knot.

However, since I've never been married, only watched the marriages of others, my opinion may not be the best.

 

[AmyNation]

Pros
-knowing your partner has no one to compare you to
-making sex more sacred
-no worry of stds
-learning together

Cons
-bad at it
-don't find out your not sexually compatible until its too late
-feeling of resentment for not having past expierence

 

[Michelle420]

I suppose the advantage is if you are a virgin and he/she is a lousy lover you have nothing to compare it to.

 

[Delia]

What do you feel are the pros and cons of doing so? Can not waiting have a negative impact on the marriage?

I did choose to wait, but I was blessed to be in a relationship with a man who was on the exact same page as I was. We are also blessed because it turns out we are perfectly compatible.

I think that sexual compatibility is important, just as in other areas like spiritual and emotional compatibility. While saving yourself can work fine, I think it's also possible for 2 people to save themselves for marriage, then find out after they are married that their sexual tastes/proclivities don't mesh well.

I'm of the opinion that people are probably better off living as though married for a time before actually getting married and having the legal complications of that. Too many marriages, IMO, fail because the courtship is too fast. That doesn't mean I advocate hopping into bed with anyone immediately, just that I think if you are in a long-term relationship with someone, knowing that you get along sexually is a good thing before you tie the knot.

However, since I've never been married, only watched the marriages of others, my opinion may not be the best.

My aunt stopped speaking to my mom because my mom advocated waiting, and once she got married ... it didn't go well. So she blamed my mom.

I figure she chose to take the advice, but other than that, I don't know. Maybe they can get it annulled?

 

[Delia]

What do you feel are the pros and cons of doing so? Can not waiting have a negative impact on the marriage?

I did choose to wait, but I was blessed to be in a relationship with a man who was on the exact same page as I was. We are also blessed because it turns out we are perfectly compatible.

Further! would you advise your daughter to wait?

What about your son.

Additional questions have been added.

 

[AmyNation]

I would advise my children to wait, until they're sure. Especially when your young, things of this nature move too quickly, from dating to breaking up. My niece changes boyfriends more often than I change the sheets . You should savor the steps instead of rushing to the finish line.

 

[Delia]

That makes sense. Nobody wants to look back and cringe.

 

[uscitizen]

I think marriage liscences should have a learners permit period just like drivers liscences.

 

[Mr. H.]

Evil stepson told me I gave him the best adivce when he was a teenager. His mom wanted me to have "the talk" with him, so when I felt the time appropriate I simply said "screw as many women as you can before you get married, and by God always wear a rubber".

Told our daughter that I hoped she has many boyfriends as she grows up so she can learn to tell the good ones from the bad ones before she decides to marry the right one.

The sex thing? I didn't go there.

 

[Big Black Dog]

Virginity. Isn't that right above the State of North Carolina?

 

[skye]

Virginity. Isn't that right above the State of North Carolina?

No, its right below!

 

[Delia]

Evil stepson told me I gave him the best adivce when he was a teenager. His mom wanted me to have "the talk" with him, so when I felt the time appropriate I simply said "screw as many women as you can before you get married, and by God always wear a rubber".

Told our daughter that I hoped she has many boyfriends as she grows up so she can learn to tell the good ones from the bad ones before she decides to marry the right one.

The sex thing? I didn't go there.

Interesting! I wonder how many parents do treat the genders differently in 'the talk.'

 

[Mr. H.]

Evil stepson told me I gave him the best adivce when he was a teenager. His mom wanted me to have "the talk" with him, so when I felt the time appropriate I simply said "screw as many women as you can before you get married, and by God always wear a rubber".

Told our daughter that I hoped she has many boyfriends as she grows up so she can learn to tell the good ones from the bad ones before she decides to marry the right one.

The sex thing? I didn't go there.

Interesting! I wonder how many parents do treat the genders differently in 'the talk.'

Good point. I feel the onus is upon me to also address such issues with our daughter. I welcome the challenge, but am leary of her willingness to listen.

 

[Mr. H.]

A few years ago I did notice a bit of butt crack showing over her jeans. I told her if I saw it again, we'd be doing her clothes shopping from then on LOL. Then on the drive to school I explained that boys like girl butt, girl boobs, other girl parts so it's best to be discreet. I left it at that.

 

[LittleNipper]

What do you feel are the pros and cons of doing so? Can not waiting have a negative impact on the marriage?

I did choose to wait, but I was blessed to be in a relationship with a man who was on the exact same page as I was. We are also blessed because it turns out we are perfectly compatible.

Further! would you advise your daughter to wait?

What about your son.

I see no cons in waiting to get married. The pros are that one remains disease free. One is more likely to see the true deep character of a prospective suiter and not circum to infatuation. God's word tells us that this is how couples should behave. There is no fear of a have to wedding. One has saved one's self for that special someome --- the best gift of all one can share with the person one marries. I feel that the person who waits is far less likey to regret getting married or becoming confused with one's own sexuality.

 

[Vandalshandle]

I once knew a girl who claimed to be a virgin, but I know she was lying, because she was 12 years old and living in North Georgia.

 

[Mr. H.]

What do you feel are the pros and cons of doing so? Can not waiting have a negative impact on the marriage?

I did choose to wait, but I was blessed to be in a relationship with a man who was on the exact same page as I was. We are also blessed because it turns out we are perfectly compatible.

Further! would you advise your daughter to wait?

What about your son.

I see no cons in waiting to get married. The pros are that one remains disease free. One is more likely to see the true deep character of a prospective suiter and not circum to infatuation. God's word tells us that this is how couples should behave. There is no fear of a have to wedding. One has saved one's self for that special someome --- the best gift of all one can share with the person one marries. I feel that the person who waits is far less likey to regret getting married or becoming confused with one's own sexuality.

First marriage was to a gal that earned the right to wear white. That was a freakin' disaster. I think you gotta go around the block before you're ready to commit to a monogomist life... which eventually degrades into a celibate life.

It's ironic that premarital sex would be taken more seriously than pregnancy.

 

[LittleNipper]

What do you feel are the pros and cons of doing so? Can not waiting have a negative impact on the marriage?

I did choose to wait, but I was blessed to be in a relationship with a man who was on the exact same page as I was. We are also blessed because it turns out we are perfectly compatible.

Further! would you advise your daughter to wait?

What about your son.

I see no cons in waiting to get married. The pros are that one remains disease free. One is more likely to see the true deep character of a prospective suiter and not circum to infatuation. God's word tells us that this is how couples should behave. There is no fear of a have to wedding. One has saved one's self for that special someome --- the best gift of all one can share with the person one marries. I feel that the person who waits is far less likey to regret getting married or becoming confused with one's own sexuality.

First marriage was to a gal that earned the right to wear white. That was a freakin' disaster. I think you gotta go around the block before you're ready to commit to a monogomist life... which eventually degrades into a celibate life.

It's ironic that premarital sex would be taken more seriously than pregnancy.

Were you a virgin also, or was it just the gal you first married?

 

[LittleNipper]

I once knew a girl who claimed to be a virgin, but I know she was lying, because she was 12 years old and living in North Georgia.

Was she black also?