Hi everyone,
I am a first-time poster and welcome all opinions and advice. My issue is this: I offered to sign as a guarantor for my friend on her passport (we both live in the States but are not American citizens). When she brought me the paperwork, I filled out what I could, but realized that I needed MY passport number as a reference, and didn't have it with me at the time, and offered to call her when I found it. In the meantime, I never heard from her and I got pre-occupied with other priorities (getting married, job applications, etc.) and my passport had expired. She called me last month to ask me for the number, and I provided it to her, realizing that I think I still had to sign off and date the paperwork, but she said that all she needed was the number. At that time, I apoligized for not getting back to her, and she was cool with everything. Well, I got a call from the country's passport agency asking me to attest that I was her guarantor, and had to fax them a statement, which I sent from my friend's fax (I don't have a fax at home). They then called me again, raising a question about the signature. The next day, they faxed to my fiance's work fax a copy of the "my" signature from the original application. My fiance immediately knew that it wasn't mine the moment the fax came through. When he got home from work with the fax, I also realized that it wasn't mine as well at first glance. (My fear was that since almost a year had passed since I started filling out my friend's paperwork, that I wouldn't be able to tell either way- I didn't want to get her into trouble when it was my sloppy handwriting, etc., but it was blatantly obvious that this signature was in no way mine!). I felt and still feel so ill. Anyway, they asked in the fax for me to call them opon receipt, which I did this morning when their office first opened, and although I know I did the right thing- both ethically and personally (I risk my own passport and deportation if I would have lied!), I can't believe that she would forge one simple signature- especially since I made myself available to her and I live only 10 minutes away! Should I press charges- here in the U.S. and/or abroad in our home country? In our own country, this is considered a federal offense!!!! Should I confront her or just not return her calls? I know that she will be calling me soon to see if I heard anything further from them, and I can't just lie and act like nothing is wrong- this is against my nature to be fake and not address the issue head on. How things were resolved with the agency was that they are going to deny her application for passport renewal and she'll have to apply again, obviously having to find another guarantor- which is not that hard to do. She seems to have come off easy?! A slap on the wrist??? The issue becomes further complicated since I am an even closer friend of her sister's- for sure i am losing one friend, but I have a feeling that I will "become the bad guy" and now I am losing 4 friends (my friends and their husbands). It is all really sad- I've been friends with them for years. An idea I had was to just call her up and ask her if there was something that she had to tell me to give her a chance to come clean. Not that I am making excuses for her, but she is almost a single mother of two who works a high-pressure job (her husband is only home every couple of months). Anyway, that is my dilemma- where is the Emily Post advice on this one? lol!
Thank you in advance.
I am a first-time poster and welcome all opinions and advice. My issue is this: I offered to sign as a guarantor for my friend on her passport (we both live in the States but are not American citizens). When she brought me the paperwork, I filled out what I could, but realized that I needed MY passport number as a reference, and didn't have it with me at the time, and offered to call her when I found it. In the meantime, I never heard from her and I got pre-occupied with other priorities (getting married, job applications, etc.) and my passport had expired. She called me last month to ask me for the number, and I provided it to her, realizing that I think I still had to sign off and date the paperwork, but she said that all she needed was the number. At that time, I apoligized for not getting back to her, and she was cool with everything. Well, I got a call from the country's passport agency asking me to attest that I was her guarantor, and had to fax them a statement, which I sent from my friend's fax (I don't have a fax at home). They then called me again, raising a question about the signature. The next day, they faxed to my fiance's work fax a copy of the "my" signature from the original application. My fiance immediately knew that it wasn't mine the moment the fax came through. When he got home from work with the fax, I also realized that it wasn't mine as well at first glance. (My fear was that since almost a year had passed since I started filling out my friend's paperwork, that I wouldn't be able to tell either way- I didn't want to get her into trouble when it was my sloppy handwriting, etc., but it was blatantly obvious that this signature was in no way mine!). I felt and still feel so ill. Anyway, they asked in the fax for me to call them opon receipt, which I did this morning when their office first opened, and although I know I did the right thing- both ethically and personally (I risk my own passport and deportation if I would have lied!), I can't believe that she would forge one simple signature- especially since I made myself available to her and I live only 10 minutes away! Should I press charges- here in the U.S. and/or abroad in our home country? In our own country, this is considered a federal offense!!!! Should I confront her or just not return her calls? I know that she will be calling me soon to see if I heard anything further from them, and I can't just lie and act like nothing is wrong- this is against my nature to be fake and not address the issue head on. How things were resolved with the agency was that they are going to deny her application for passport renewal and she'll have to apply again, obviously having to find another guarantor- which is not that hard to do. She seems to have come off easy?! A slap on the wrist??? The issue becomes further complicated since I am an even closer friend of her sister's- for sure i am losing one friend, but I have a feeling that I will "become the bad guy" and now I am losing 4 friends (my friends and their husbands). It is all really sad- I've been friends with them for years. An idea I had was to just call her up and ask her if there was something that she had to tell me to give her a chance to come clean. Not that I am making excuses for her, but she is almost a single mother of two who works a high-pressure job (her husband is only home every couple of months). Anyway, that is my dilemma- where is the Emily Post advice on this one? lol!
Thank you in advance.
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