Vice Cop Follies

DGS49

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2012
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Pittsburgh
True Story: An illegal Guatemalan immigrant who speaks no English is accosted outside his local supermarket by a tawdry-dressed young woman. She speaks rapidly to the man making gestures toward her mouth, and nodding her head and smiling as he continues into the store. He believes she is indicating she is hungry and when he comes out she accosts him again. He gives her his change - about five bucks - to presumably buy herself some food.

He is immediately surrounded by a posse of uniformed and plain-clothes cops, who drag him off to the local police station, charged with soliciting prostitution. The conversation he mis-took as a request for food money, was presumably an offer for oral sex.

Five dollars and some loose change. Oral sex. Hmmmmm. I confess that I am not personally knowledgeable about the "going rate" for a blowjob, but at $5, I might be in the market. Or maybe $5 is a preposterous amount, as this vice cop surely knew.

The local Public Defender has no one on staff who understands Spanish, and the Accused cannot converse in English, so a stray bi-lingual person is located in the courthouse, whereupon it comes out that this was a misunderstanding. The DA offers, in exchange for a misdemeanor guilty plea, a fine of $100. The Accused refuses, indignant that he should be found guilty of anything, when all he was doing was offering a random person some money for food.

The local ACLU chapter is consulted, and it is strongly recommended that the Accused take the plea, pay the money, and do his utmost to have no more dealings with the constabulary. No good. He refuses to plead guilty, and his case is pending.

On further investigation, it turns out that this particular vice cop has arrested dozens of Hispanic, non-English speaking men for exactly the same "crime" over the last couple years. Have you ever heard of "Profiling"? Have you heard recently of any more absurd and counterproductive deployments of municipal resources?

"Fortunately," the local municipality has declared itself a "Sanctuary City," so there is no imminent danger this Guatemalan gentlemen will be deported, but one never knows. He supports himself as a drywall installer in the local residential construction market. Under the table, of course.

You could write a book.
 
True Story: An illegal Guatemalan immigrant who speaks no English is accosted outside his local supermarket by a tawdry-dressed young woman. She speaks rapidly to the man making gestures toward her mouth, and nodding her head and smiling as he continues into the store. He believes she is indicating she is hungry and when he comes out she accosts him again. He gives her his change - about five bucks - to presumably buy herself some food.

He is immediately surrounded by a posse of uniformed and plain-clothes cops, who drag him off to the local police station, charged with soliciting prostitution. The conversation he mis-took as a request for food money, was presumably an offer for oral sex.

Five dollars and some loose change. Oral sex. Hmmmmm. I confess that I am not personally knowledgeable about the "going rate" for a blowjob, but at $5, I might be in the market. Or maybe $5 is a preposterous amount, as this vice cop surely knew.

The local Public Defender has no one on staff who understands Spanish, and the Accused cannot converse in English, so a stray bi-lingual person is located in the courthouse, whereupon it comes out that this was a misunderstanding. The DA offers, in exchange for a misdemeanor guilty plea, a fine of $100. The Accused refuses, indignant that he should be found guilty of anything, when all he was doing was offering a random person some money for food.

The local ACLU chapter is consulted, and it is strongly recommended that the Accused take the plea, pay the money, and do his utmost to have no more dealings with the constabulary. No good. He refuses to plead guilty, and his case is pending.

On further investigation, it turns out that this particular vice cop has arrested dozens of Hispanic, non-English speaking men for exactly the same "crime" over the last couple years. Have you ever heard of "Profiling"? Have you heard recently of any more absurd and counterproductive deployments of municipal resources?

"Fortunately," the local municipality has declared itself a "Sanctuary City," so there is no imminent danger this Guatemalan gentlemen will be deported, but one never knows. He supports himself as a drywall installer in the local residential construction market. Under the table, of course.

You could write a book.

There was a time when intent was as important as action. Sadly that time is now in the past and nearly a fable to the modern world.
 
True Story: An illegal Guatemalan immigrant who speaks no English is accosted outside his local supermarket by a tawdry-dressed young woman. She speaks rapidly to the man making gestures toward her mouth, and nodding her head and smiling as he continues into the store. He believes she is indicating she is hungry and when he comes out she accosts him again. He gives her his change - about five bucks - to presumably buy herself some food.

He is immediately surrounded by a posse of uniformed and plain-clothes cops, who drag him off to the local police station, charged with soliciting prostitution. The conversation he mis-took as a request for food money, was presumably an offer for oral sex.

Five dollars and some loose change. Oral sex. Hmmmmm. I confess that I am not personally knowledgeable about the "going rate" for a blowjob, but at $5, I might be in the market. Or maybe $5 is a preposterous amount, as this vice cop surely knew.

The local Public Defender has no one on staff who understands Spanish, and the Accused cannot converse in English, so a stray bi-lingual person is located in the courthouse, whereupon it comes out that this was a misunderstanding. The DA offers, in exchange for a misdemeanor guilty plea, a fine of $100. The Accused refuses, indignant that he should be found guilty of anything, when all he was doing was offering a random person some money for food.

The local ACLU chapter is consulted, and it is strongly recommended that the Accused take the plea, pay the money, and do his utmost to have no more dealings with the constabulary. No good. He refuses to plead guilty, and his case is pending.

On further investigation, it turns out that this particular vice cop has arrested dozens of Hispanic, non-English speaking men for exactly the same "crime" over the last couple years. Have you ever heard of "Profiling"? Have you heard recently of any more absurd and counterproductive deployments of municipal resources?

"Fortunately," the local municipality has declared itself a "Sanctuary City," so there is no imminent danger this Guatemalan gentlemen will be deported, but one never knows. He supports himself as a drywall installer in the local residential construction market. Under the table, of course.

You could write a book.

With no link, this could be a fleeting moment on an internet message board.
 
Back in the day there was a cop (Flynn) on the local force who developed a nasty twitch. He'd involuntarily and vigorously nod his head to the left at random moments whereupon he'd curse. Could have been Tourette's?

Anyway, they had to take him off traffic duty because his head gestures were confusing drivers and resulted in several minor accidents.

He was reassigned tot he vice squad, teamed up with a really short guy - a near midget.

Plainclothes, they staked out a bar where it was known you could get laid, relaid and parlayed for under ten bucks (this was about 50 years ago when $10 was a decent price).

They watched a hooker pick up a sailor (it was a Navy town back then) and followed them to a tenement house on Rock Street. A light came on in a downstairs room and Flynn, being the taller of the two cops, craned to look in the window and catch her in the act. Unfortunately his twitch kicked in and his head slammed the glass and his curse echoed through the neighborhood.

The hooker came to the window and opened it, flailing at the (plainclothes) intruder with a bedside lamp. The sailor left quickly; the hooker (no evidence of anything illegal) called the cops to report an attempted break-in. News photographer responded along with the uniformed cops and the picture of Flynn, in full twitch mode, made the front page.

As I recall the policemen's union finagled a desk job for Officer Flynn until they could get him retired on disability.
 
Back in the day there was a cop (Flynn) on the local force who developed a nasty twitch. He'd involuntarily and vigorously nod his head to the left at random moments whereupon he'd curse. Could have been Tourette's?

Anyway, they had to take him off traffic duty because his head gestures were confusing drivers and resulted in several minor accidents.

He was reassigned tot he vice squad, teamed up with a really short guy - a near midget.

Plainclothes, they staked out a bar where it was known you could get laid, relaid and parlayed for under ten bucks (this was about 50 years ago when $10 was a decent price).

They watched a hooker pick up a sailor (it was a Navy town back then) and followed them to a tenement house on Rock Street. A light came on in a downstairs room and Flynn, being the taller of the two cops, craned to look in the window and catch her in the act. Unfortunately his twitch kicked in and his head slammed the glass and his curse echoed through the neighborhood.

The hooker came to the window and opened it, flailing at the (plainclothes) intruder with a bedside lamp. The sailor left quickly; the hooker (no evidence of anything illegal) called the cops to report an attempted break-in. News photographer responded along with the uniformed cops and the picture of Flynn, in full twitch mode, made the front page.

As I recall the policemen's union finagled a desk job for Officer Flynn until they could get him retired on disability.
Nice vignette. (The good old days.)
 

On further investigation, it turns out that this particular vice cop has arrested dozens of Hispanic, non-English speaking men for exactly the same "crime" over the last couple years. Have you ever heard of "Profiling"? Have you heard recently of any more absurd and counterproductive deployments of municipal resources?

[...][/quote]
Many years ago a seasoned NYPD detective I knew told me, "Vice cops and narcs are the scumbags of law enforcement." That observation came to mind last night while watching Season 15 / Episode 34 of COPS, one segment of which features a narc "buy/bust" operation.

This operation comprised six cops and three cars. Two of the cops stood on a recently cleared "hot" corner posing as curbside dealers. After decoying and busting two young crack buyers their third customer was a rather nervous, elderly White man who seemed the diametric opposite of the typical street-corner drug buyer. This fellow timidly asked the dealer for heroin.

When the old man accepted the decoy drugs and handed the (undercover cop) dealer thirty dollars two backup cars pulled up, blocked the buyer's car, and four burly young cops aggressively yanked this obviously stunned old man out of his car and onto his knees.

After standing the old man up the cops found the bulge under his shirt wasn't a weapon but a surgically implanted morphine pump. The old man had bone cancer and, as he explained, he needed the heroin because the morphine just wasn't enough to relieve his constant pain -- and it was obvious that this frail old guy was suffering.

The end of this story is the old guy was arrested and informed that his car was subject to Civil Asset Forfeiture -- i.e. seized for public auction.

First, I should say I have the utmost respect and admiration for cops who arrest real "bad guys," i.e., people who harm other people. And when these "bad guys" have it coming I have no problem with the cops beating the shit out of them. But in situations like the one described above (COPS: S15/Ep34), I can't help feeling nothing but angry contempt for the scumbag narcs who heaped utter misery upon a sick old man who had harmed no one. In fact, if someone with a semi-auto shotgun had walked up on those narcs and killed all four of them my gut feeling would be, good! They deserve it.

Being aware that each segment in every episode of COPS must be approved for broadcast by its respective police agency, I must say I am very surprised that this particular segment was not withheld. Because I can't imagine anyone who watches it not wishing some harm upon those predatory, unconscionable narcs.
 
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