TSA SONG - I Screen Myself

Discussion in 'Media' started by American Horse, Nov 18, 2010.

  1. American Horse
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    American Horse AKA "Mustang"

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    " I Screen Myself " <-<-click here for audio

    (Lyrics)
    I love myself
    I want you to pat me
    When I fly
    Oh, I want you to want me
    You touch my junk
    I want you to search me
    I give up my rights...

    I don't want any civil rights
    I'm under your control when I fly
    Oh, I don't want any civil rights
    Oh no, oh no, oh no, yeah

    You're the one who gropes little children
    You're the one who pats a nun
    When you're scanning I'm always ranting
    Please don't touch my junk

    I close my eyes as you feel up me
    Now I can't sleep thinking how you've touched me
    A fool could see that I can't fit a bomb there
    Please get off your knees
    I think we've crossed a line here

    I don't want any civil rights
    I'm under your control when I fly
    Oh, I don't want any civil rights
    Oh no, oh no, oh no, yeah...

    You sit me down
    Your hand is up my skirt
    To get some rights I might have to just cover
    If I say no will I set off an alert
    I have to say TSA you're a big jerk

    I don't want any civil rights
    I'm under your control when I fly
    Oh, I don't want any civil rights
    Oh no, oh no, oh no, yeah...

    Boxers or briefs
    Please don't check me underneath

    I don't want any civil rights

    sung by Lynda McLaughlin, a producer for Sean Hannity
     
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    Last edited: Nov 19, 2010
  2. boedicca
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    boedicca Uppity Water Nymph Supporting Member

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    And for an encore!

    Comply With Me*

    (With deepest apologies to Sammy Cahn, Jimmy Van Heusen & Frank Sinatra)

    Comply with me, before you fly away
    Remove those shoes and take a cruise
    Through my peekaboo X-ray
    Comply with me, I'm your friendly TSA

    Comply with me, you domestic coach class bums
    If you opt out I'll just give a shout
    To my icy-handed chums
    Comply with me, bend over here it comes

    Once I get all up there where your hair is ticklish
    I'll just fish
    Got my wish
    Once I get all up there you'll be squirming like an eel
    You may squeal
    At the feel
    When we're together

    Proctology is such a lovely trade
    I'll show you love with my rubber glove
    Try not to be afraid
    I'd be a perfect gentleman, if you had just obeyed
    Comply with me, I'm GS8 pay grade

    Janet Napolitano says to spread 'em wide
    Have you tried Astro-glide?
    Janet Napolitano knows your clothes are off
    Head aloft
    Turn it and cough
    When we're together

    Don't crack wise or I'll ruin your whole day
    Please don't frown when I pat you down
    It alerts the CIA
    It's perfectly legal practice except at Gitmo Bay
    Comply with me, comply comply
    Comply with me, obey, obey, obey!


    iowahawk
     
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  3. American Horse
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    American Horse AKA "Mustang"

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    I updated link to the audio (not on You-Tube yet)
     
  4. midcan5
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    midcan5 liberal / progressive

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    I always marvel at the power and the persuasion of stories that could easily be defined as trivial while critical issues get no pass. We went through these in Denver not long ago and no one seemed to care. Now as an added distraction from reality for Hannity et al presto chango whammo important news. Postmodernism has invaded our minds. ;)


    "A new barbarism, illiteracy and impoverishment of language, new kinds of poverty, merciless remodeling of opinion by media, immiseration of the mind, obsolescence of the soul. Massified, standardizing modes, in every area of life, relentlessly re-enact the actual control program of modernity. Capitalism did not create our world; the machine did." Jean-François Lyotard
     
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  5. American Horse
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    American Horse AKA "Mustang"

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    MC, this is a stretch.
    The parody in question is quite lighthearted, imaginative, and innocuous compared to the likes of SNL, Daly, Etal, and much more captures the social problem involved than do their snickering diatribes.
     
  6. annawatson123
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    annawatson123 Rookie

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    its a very nice song!!!!it become one of my favorite songs
     
  7. Quantum Windbag
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    Quantum Windbag Gold Member

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    I always marvel at the ability of the human mind to rationalize anything.
     

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