Trump the Movie

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by bendog, Jul 17, 2017.

  1. bendog

    bendog Gold Member

    Mar 4, 2013
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    Dog House in back yard
    Trump - DeCaprio - He can redo the Wolf only with more Clownish behavior

    Melania - Mila Kunis (don’t like but it has to be. Kunis may not be likeable enough though. Juliette Lewis or Pelelope Cruz have a likeable quirkiness, but in real life, you know Melania fucked her way up, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a nice girl doing that. Tomei could have killed the role 20 years ago)

    Ivanka - Natalie Portman. (No tits, but she’s a Jew and can be a real bitch)

    Jared - Joseph Gordon Levitt (He’s not perfect, but you need a guy who is not just wide eyed naive, but also thinks he’s a player, and in the end a train’s gonna get driven right up his ass. Maybe Bradley Cooper. Buscemi isn’t pretty enough.)

    Jr. - Peter Drinkledge. (The biggest little prick on the planet. Ok, Christian Bale)

    The Vampire Son - Stephen Moyer (Maybe too old, but he’s already done the role in True Blood. Aaron Paul has an edge)

    Bannon - William H. Macy (He needs to look like he’s coming off a three day binge, and is willing to fabricate a story of his own three year old daughter selling herself to make Donald look bad)

    Rince - Rowan Atkinson. (Nothing needs to be said)

    Mantafort - Kevin Spacey

    Hillary - Streep

    Bill - Nicholson

    Comey - Sean Bean on stilts (the bad guy who always dies. (-: Will Smith)

    Jefferson Beauragard Sessions III - (Anthony Hopkins - he can do any dialect and seriously, can’t you see him with a dozen lynched blacks in his back yard?)

    Putin - Gary Oldman to bring the evil (We’re talking taking people into the Lubyanka basement, baby. Six STORIES of rooms.

    Rubber baton testicle busting. Electrodes up women. Eyes coming out of socket beatings. Enemies with their organs literally dissolving with Dioxin. We need evil)

    Mitch "the Turtle" McConnell - Matthew McConaughey (It needs an actor who can play like he has no moral center, and is perfectly willing to sell his own spine to fuck the other side. Not just a bastard, but a guy willing to slit his own vein to do it. And on a plus side they guy has literally destroyed his body, so he physically fits)

    Rod Rosenstein - Colin Firth (A toady who discovers he had to find a spine)

    Paul Ryan - Tom Hanks (It can’t be easy to go from man of principle, even misguided principle, and prostitute your integrity simply for the power of a political party. Wherever Ryan’s head lives, it’s a bad place.)

    Miller - Edward Norton (Tell me, can’t you see Nazi memorabila in his basement?)

    Mueller - Morgan Freeman. (Jesus Christ doesn’t have the moral highground on this guy)

    Sean Spicer - Sure I could say Melissa McCarthy, but it’s been done. I’m going Robert Downey Jr., because he dissembled to Judges at sentencing hearings more often even Spicer has in trying to defend this backtracking crap

    Kelly Ann - Kate Blanchette.. (I’m tempted to cast the person whom I despise the most, but the thing is it would really take an actress to play this character.)

    Flynn - Woody Harrelson (crazy scary)

    Orange Man’s team of lawyers - Dustin Hoffman (he can play them all with makeup)

    Mattis - Christopher Walken (a decent man slowly being driven insane by events out of his control)

    McMaster - Robert Duvall (not only a decent man being driven insane but a man doing daily briefings with a entity totally opposed to everything he held to be true)

    Schumer - Buscemi (don’t believe a word he says)
  2. miketx

    miketx Diamond Member

    Dec 25, 2015
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    Hollywood is turning enough stupid movies, don't you think?
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. mamooth

    mamooth Gold Member Supporting Member

    Aug 17, 2012
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    Indianapolis, Indiana
    I'm waiting for "Trump, the musical".

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