At a recent Minnesota rally, Donald Trump accused Joe Biden of being an ass kisser. I guess he expects everyone to have forgotten this incredibly cringeworthy professional grade ass kissing by his cabinet and Mike Pence: See if you can stomach that 11 minute rim job marathon. Now lets go around the table and see what happened to all these ass kissers and let's see how Trump treated them. We'll start with the attorney general. JEFF SESSIONS: Mr. President, me and every law enforcement official in America are sporting erections today in anticipation of your regime...slurp-slurp-slurp Jeff Sessions Is Forced Out as Attorney General as Trump Installs Loyalist And now the Secretary of Labor. ALEX ACOSTA: Mr. President, I have been looking forward to this opportunity to bury my nose in your ginormous ass...slurp-slurp-slurp How a future Trump Cabinet member gave a serial sex abuser the deal of a lifetime Acosta to Resign as Labor Secretary Over Jeffrey Epstein Plea Deal And now the Secretary of Energy. RICK PERRY: Mr. President, I haven't a clue how to protect our nation's nuclear arsenal or how to prevent other countries from getting nukes. I am therefore uniquely qualified for this job...slurp-slurp-slurp Trump blames Energy Secretary Rick Perry for Ukraine call Rick Perry Is Said to Be Resigning as Energy Secretary by Year’s End And now the EPA Secretary. SCOTT PRUITT: Mr. President, we can't wait to get the nation back on track poisoning our air and water...slurp-slurp-slurp Scott Pruitt’s bizarre condo scandal and mounting ethics questions, explained EPA chief Scott Pruitt resigns amid scandals And now the Secretary of the Interior. RYAN ZINKE: Mr. President, we are looking forward to grabbing our nation's natural beauty by the pussy...slurp-slurp-slurp Interior Secretary Zinke resigns amid investigations Zinke, Year One: 14 misdeeds that show why he's the worst Interior secretary ever And now the VA Secretary. DAVID SHULKIN: Mr. President, veterans schmeteran. My wife needs a trip on the taxpayer dime...slurp-slurp-slurp How Veteran Affairs Department Secretary David Shulkin fell from grace Shulkin out: Trump fires VA secretary after weeks of controversy And now the HHS Secretary. TOM PRICE: Mr. President, all these lazy black people on food stamps are cutting into my taxpayer-funded private flights...slurp-slurp-slurp Tom Price, Trump’s scandal-plagued HHS secretary, is stepping down And then there is the Chief of Staff. REINCE PRIEBUS: Mr. President, if one of these guys' lips aren't firmly pressed against your ginormous ass, I will be there in their place...slurp-slurp-slurp Report: Reince Priebus literally got kicked out of the presidential motorcade To Trump's immediate left, the Secretary of Defense. JIM MATTIS: Let's kick some ass! Jim Mattis, Defense Secretary, Resigns in Rebuke of Trump’s Worldview The Secretary of State, sitting directly to Trump's right. REX TILLERSON: Mr. President, I am not going to sit idly by as you trash our allies and fellate dictators and KGB thugs. Rex Tillerson Gets Fired the Day After He Criticized Russia Trump Urged Tillerson to Help Giuliani Client Facing DOJ Charges Last but not least, the Vice President. MIKE PENCE: Mr. President, I am happy to whore my religious beliefs just to be at this table.