Trump hires the only lawyer in US with fewer clients than Michael Cohen!

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by DrLove, Apr 20, 2018.

  1. DrLove
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    DrLove Gold Member

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    :iyfyus.jpg:

    WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The White House announced on Thursday that Donald Trump had successfully secured the services of Rudolph Giuliani, after an exhaustive search for an attorney with fewer clients than Michael D. Cohen.

    “President Trump had become concerned in recent days that Mr. Cohen might be too distracted to pay full attention to his case, what with him having two other clients and all,” Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House press secretary, said. “So the search was on for a lawyer with zero clients, and with the hiring of Mayor Giuliani, the President believes he has hit the jackpot.”

    Speaking to reporters, Giuliani agreed that, by virtue of having three fewer clients than Cohen, he was uniquely qualified to give Trump his full attention. “There is absolutely no chance of my ever putting him on hold,” Giuliani said.

    While the former New York mayor’s hiring got high marks from Trump’s inner circle, it drew a bitter reaction from Chris Christie, the former governor of New Jersey, who angrily pointed out that he had not been considered for the job despite having as few clients as Giuliani. “Not only do I have absolutely no clients, I have even less going on, career-wise, than Rudy Giuliani,” Christie said. “Once again, I’ve been screwed.”​

    Trump Hires Only Lawyer in U.S. with Fewer Clients Than Michael Cohen | The New Yorker
     
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  2. norwegen
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    norwegen Gold Member

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    Something tells me Dr. Lose takes this stuff seriously.
     
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  3. Billy_Kinetta
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    Billy_Kinetta Paladin of the Lost Hour Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    In honor of Comey's "mob boss" delusion, one must remember that Tom Hagen was an extremely effective lawyer, with only one client.

     
  4. Tipsycatlover
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    Tipsycatlover Gold Member

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    Giuliani was an extremely successful federal prosecutor.
     
  5. TyroneSlothrop
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    TyroneSlothrop Guru of Gadzook

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    Michael Cohen case shines light on Sean Hannity's property empire
    Fox News host who said Trump’s fixer ‘knows real estate’ has a portfolio that includes support from Department of Housing and Urban Development, a fact he did not mention when interviewing secretary Ben Carson last year

    Jon Swaine in New York

    @jonswaine
    Sun 22 Apr 2018 18.31 EDT Last modified on Sun 22 Apr 2018 19.37 EDT

    Michael Cohen case shines light on Sean Hannity's property empire
    [​IMG]Sean Hannity appears at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Maryland in February 2016. Photograph: Carolyn Kaster/A
    When Sean Hannity was named in court this week as a client of Donald Trump’s embattled legal fixer Michael Cohen, the Fox News host insisted their discussions had been limited to the subject of buying property.

    “I’ve said many times on my radio show: I hate the stock market, I prefer real estate. Michael knows real estate,” Hannity said on television, a few hours after the dramatic hearing in Manhattan, where Cohen is under criminal investigation.
     
  6. jillian
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    jillian Princess Supporting Member

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    no. he's normal. he's laughing at you and the orange sociopath.

    humorless trumpflakes.
     
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  7. IsaacNewton
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    IsaacNewton Gold Member

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    Next Trump will hire Jackie Chiles. "Mueller is flouting societies conventions!" "Yes he is flouting."

     
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  8. DrLove
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    DrLove Gold Member

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    I guess when ya make 20 mil a year telling Trump what to say and what to tweet you can afford to create shell companies and buy lots of real estate. Wouldn't be surprised if he's partners with Russian oligarchs on some of them.

    The funny part though is that the Lawyer-ish Fixer knows nothing about real estate. Hannity is gonna get busted on his lies -- Bigly
     

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