Toxic-Waste: Batman v Poison Ivy (Diary)

Abishai100

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Sep 22, 2013
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This is an eco-fanfic about Batman tackling Poison Ivy over toxic-waste.

It's inspired by FernGully: The Last Rainforest.





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"Well, it looks my appointment book is pretty empty this week leading up to Friday's monumental conference-meeting with Greenpeace. I'm confident my company (Wayne Industries) has done everything imaginable to deal with the modern anathema of toxic-waste. I'm sure though that Greenpeace will send some idealistic representative who's more than sure that every single corporation in America is mishandling toxic-waste. I'm truly hopeful such a radical claim is simply incorrect," Bruce Wayne said to himself as he prepared for his eco-political meeting with Greenpeace. Bruce had spent months preparing for this symbolic meeting, and the press was eager to know what its impact would be in Gotham City (and America)!

"I don't give a rat's ass what Mr. Wayne or his inflated 'super-company' thinks about those 'darlings' of Greenpeace. I'm more than sure Greenpeace will just cow-tow to whatever the extremely wealthy and influential Bruce Wayne tells them about the 'responsible handling of toxic-waste in America.' No. I, Poison Ivy (Earth's finest eco-terrorist), will devise the ultimate scheme (something of an eco-terrorist 'flavor') to make this Greenpeace meeting exactly what it should be --- a devastating wake-up call," Poison Ivy said to herself as she prepared for Wayne Industries' symbolic meeting with Greenpeacce in her own diabolical and eco-terrorist fashion.

Monday had passed, and it was now Tuesday morning. Bruce picked up his copy of the Gotham Gazette on his way to his office at the Wayne Industries main building in Gotham City. Bruce thumbed through the Gazette only to discover the shocking headline on page 3 --- Poison Ivy threatens to place virulent plants in the Gotham Zoo! Bruce realized Poison Ivy had her own vision of what the Wayne Industries' meeting with Greenpeace would mean for Gotham. Bruce decided to take a half-day at work and rushed home to Wayne Manor and climbed down to his secret basement-lair after eating the hummus-sandwich his trusted butler (of many years) Alfred gave him. Bruce's basement-lair was of course the 'Bat-Cave' and Bruce was actually Gotham's ultimate masked vigilante...Batman!


BATMAN: I fear Poison Ivy is planning some terrorism for the Greenpeace meeting.
ALFRED: It seems she's already devising schemes, sir...
BATMAN: Indeed; I suspect this zoo-stunt she's pulled is either an 'appetizer' or an inebriating distraction.
ALFRED: A distraction for what?
BATMAN: Something bigger planned for the Greenpeace meeting, Alfred...
ALFRED: I worry you're getting too 'deep' into all this eco-terrorism insanity, Bruce Wayne!
BATMAN: Someone has to deal with Poison Ivy, and I think I (Batman) know what to do.
ALFRED: That's a relief for Gotham, but what about you? Have you visited the zoo recently?
BATMAN: I'll take a vacation later/soon...

Batman looked over his detective-files on his giant computer in the Bat-Cave that day and realized that two years ago, Poison Ivy stole a huge batch of Agent Orange (toxic weapon) from a U.S. government lab, though she never used it. Batman suspected that Poison Ivy planned to dump some Agent Orange onto the Greenpeace meeting at Wayne Industries on Friday. He needed to come up with a quick-and-nifty plan to intercept and stop Poison Ivy before she dumped Agent Orange, and he also wanted to make sure she wasn't hiding anything else up her 'poisonous sleeves.' Batman hopped into the Bat-Mobile and began roaming around the outskirts of Gotham, looking for the ideal place Poison Ivy might hide her batch of Agent Orange.

Batman drove by the cemetery and realized that the forest right behind the cemetery would be an ideal hiding-place for Poison Ivy's Agent Orange batch. Batman decided to start digging in that forest, and sure enough, he found the 'treasure.' It was about 10 drums full of Agent Orange, and Batman began planning how to transport the toxic material back to the U.S. government lab from which Poison Ivy stole the stuff. Batman began making trips back and forth between the cemetery-forest and Wayne Manor, storing the drums in the Bat-Cave. After his second trip, Batman noticed that Poison Ivy was now in the forest, just standing there by the Agent Orange drums still not transported. She was waiting for him all along.

POISON IVY: Thought you'd never get here, Bats!
BATMAN: You schemed to lure me here.
POISON IVY: You got it, detective.
BATMAN: So what's your game, Poison Ivy?
POISON IVY: Here's the deal. Appoint a Greenpeace executive to be a Wayne Industries board-member.
BATMAN: And if I refuse?
POISON IVY: If you fail, I'll tell Gotham you impregnated the mayor's daughter and forced an abortion!
BATMAN: You devious liar! You're nothing but a terrorist. I never touched the mayor's daughter.
POISON IVY: Gothamites will eat up the rumors like french-fries, so you shouldn't fail me...

Batman realized the Agent Orange stunt was nothing more than Poison Ivy's elaborate scheme to lure Batman towards her so she could blackmail him (when the opportunity arose!). Now that the opportunity arose, and the Greenpeace meeting was just two days away, Batman concluded that if Wayne Industries did not appoint a Greenpeace executive/representative on its managerial/governing board, Poison Ivy would spread those terrible rumors about him which would catch fire...like poison! Gothamites wouldn't know who to trust, and Poison Ivy would be able to capitalize on the momentary hysteria with more well-placed eco-terrorist acts. Batman (Bruce Wayne) decided to concede defeat and appointed a receptive Greenpeace executive to the Wayne Industries board.

"I hope this Greenpeace 'soldier' does exactly what I think he/she will (for Batman's sake!). The news indicated that the Greenpeace executive appointed by Bruce Wayne (by the way, I have this nagging feeling Bruce is actually Batman!) will be responsible for reporting on the company's handling of all toxic-waste materials. I'll be keeping a close-eye on this Greenpeace soldier's work/progress, and if there's a slip-up, I'll rightfully strike! In the meantime, I suppose I can put aside my eco-terrorism angst and concede to Batman there's no reason to retaliate (given that this Greenpeace executive has been appointed to Wayne's company board). Someday, people will say, 'Poison Ivy reinvented guerrilla-politics'," Poison Ivy said to herself in momentary spiritual satisfaction. Would future toxic-waste blunders compel her to 're-surface'? That was now Batman's fear...


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