Together - Forever

[BDBoop]

I just figure if you signed up with the vows and all, and you decide to wander, you should do the right thing. End the marriage, then live free.

 

[High_Gravity]

I just figure if you signed up with the vows and all, and you decide to wander, you should do the right thing. End the marriage, then live free.

Alot of people are hesitant to just leave their marriages because they have things invested like kids, house, car etc. the only people I have known that just up and left their marriages were people with no kids and not that many assets.

 

[strollingbones]

I just figure if you signed up with the vows and all, and you decide to wander, you should do the right thing. End the marriage, then live free.

why is the solution always to end the marriage?

 

[BDBoop]

I will freely admit that I don't get it. But then, marriage is very complex. But if you know it's going to cost you a hell of a lot more once you're caught then to just end it up front, wouldn't you go the honesty route? (Not you. The general 'you'.)

 

[BDBoop]

I just figure if you signed up with the vows and all, and you decide to wander, you should do the right thing. End the marriage, then live free.

why is the solution always to end the marriage?

Because most partners wouldn't agree to an open marriage.

 

[strollingbones]

that implies that the foundation of marriage is sexual fidelity.....is that really true?

 

[High_Gravity]

I just figure if you signed up with the vows and all, and you decide to wander, you should do the right thing. End the marriage, then live free.

why is the solution always to end the marriage?

Because most partners wouldn't agree to an open marriage.

Open marriages have longer shelf lives than normal ones, but alot of people cannot handle being in an open marriage.

 

[BDBoop]

For a lot of people, it's a deal breaker. If it's not, then that's between them. But if it's no big, then why is it a secret?

Betrayal in a marriage is a HUGE no-no.

 

[High_Gravity]

that implies that the foundation of marriage is sexual fidelity.....is that really true?

It is a big part of it, when you marry someone you are committing yourself to that person, unless you do the open marriage thing or are swingers.

 

[strollingbones]

perhaps people's inability to recognize and deal with bumps in the road is the major reason for divorce

perhaps people need to understand that we are all human and therefore make horrible mistakes or not

 

[High_Gravity]

perhaps people's inability to recognize and deal with bumps in the road is the major reason for divorce

perhaps people need to understand that we are all human and therefore make horrible mistakes or not

Thats when we get to the unrealistic expectation part of it, especially for us younger folks. When you listen to a 20 year old woman talk about what she thinks a marriage is it either make you laugh or scare you, or both.

 

[strollingbones]

i have no clue what 20 yr olds think is marriage or define it....seems most the couple who married that are my sons age are now divorced.

 

[BDBoop]

perhaps people's inability to recognize and deal with bumps in the road is the major reason for divorce

perhaps people need to understand that we are all human and therefore make horrible mistakes or not

Well, on the one hand, my mister refused to get therapy, discuss it, or anything. Done.

But on the other hand, we're still married. So - adultery didn't end my marriage. It just destroyed it.

 

[strollingbones]

was it just sexual or was it emotional?

 

[High_Gravity]

i have no clue what 20 yr olds think is marriage or define it....seems most the couple who married that are my sons age are now divorced.

Exactly, I know what they think because most of my friends are in their 20s, the women cannot wait to get hitched and the men want nothing to do with it.

 

[High_Gravity]

perhaps people's inability to recognize and deal with bumps in the road is the major reason for divorce

perhaps people need to understand that we are all human and therefore make horrible mistakes or not

Well, on the one hand, my mister refused to get therapy, discuss it, or anything. Done.

But on the other hand, we're still married. So - adultery didn't end my marriage. It just destroyed it.

When my ex wife moved back to the Virgin Islands I considered the marriage done, even though legally it took a year after that for it to be finalized.

 

[BDBoop]

was it just sexual or was it emotional?

They've been together over three years.

 

[strollingbones]

how long have you known? and why didnt he leave? there is a reason he didnt leave

 

[Ringel05]

I have been with my 2nd wife for 20 years and have remained faithful because I choose to. That doesn't mean I haven't been tempted before, now or will be in the future and if the circumstances were "right" who knows, I could give into that temptation. I hope and pray that doesn't happen because I've seen the consequences on a personal level, too much pain and heartache can come from it.

 

[BDBoop]

how long have you known? and why didnt he leave? there is a reason he didnt leave

This happened back in 2008. He was cheating, in Second Life. He told me that we were done, and dropped me on my sister's doorstep. Said it was all about me. Three days later, she's up for a visit, and two weeks later she's moved in.

Why hasn't he filed? BTSOOM. I refuse to speak to him.