Derideo_Te
Je Suis Charlie
- Mar 2, 2013
- 20,461
- 7,961
- 360
To my white male Facebook friends - Salon.com
This post originally appeared on Cera Byer's Facebook page.
...
===========================================
There is plenty more at the link but the question above is what needs to be addressed in my opinion.
When you hear about racism happening to others how do you react?
Do you turn your back and deny that it is happening?
Or do you trust that they are telling the truth and try to address the very real problem they are facing?
As privileged white males we have an obligation and a duty that comes with being at the top of the pecking order and that is to ensure that we do not abuse our position.
There is ample evidence that racism is still an ongoing problem in society today. The sentences handed down to blacks for the same crimes committed by whites are longer. That is indisputable and clear factual evidence that we still have a problem.
So where do you stand?
Are you willing to face up to your brother, your father, your uncle, your coworker, your friend who says things that are racist and call them on it?
Because that is what a real man does in a situation like the one we are facing in society today.
This post originally appeared on Cera Byer's Facebook page.
This post is for my white male Facebook friends.
Some of the most disturbing, subtle, insidious, racist comments I’ve seen over the past few weeks have been from my white male Facebook friends. I know a lot of my friends are just mass defriending people, but I’m not quite there yet, because I’m (foolishly, naively) hoping I can reach some of you in a way that creates some kind of change. I know, I know, who ever had his mind changed from something he read on the Internet? But here I am, tilting at windmills.
First, let me say, I’m not addressing you to put you on the defensive. I don’t want to fight. But I really am hoping to reach your heart. So please start with holding what I’m going to say in love and openness, and see if you can let this reach your heart before you fight it with your brain meats.
Next, let me say, this doesn’t apply to all of you. There are some great allies, advocates and freedom fighters among my friends, and I ask you to join this discussion.
OK, let’s do this.
My white male friend, you might actually believe in your heart that you are not racist. You might actually believe that this country is full of equality and justice, and get offended at the idea that it’s not, so this might be really difficult for you.
When people tell us that something we believe to be true is actually not 100 percent true, or maybe not true for everyone, we can experience cognitive dissonance. One way to respond to this is to walk away, or get defensive. Another way to respond is to compassionately lean in to it; lean in to our discomfort, our fear, our panic, our incredulity, our doubt. Open ourselves to the idea that our beliefs are just ideas that we go out and seek support for, and therefore there are other ideas out there that could become our beliefs, very easily, if we were willing to open ourselves up and expand our frame of reference.
That is what I’m inviting you to do here — open yourself up, compassionately expand your frame of reference.
...
I’d like to invite a thought exercise.
Your child comes to you and says, “Dad, I’m being harassed, bullied, threatened and terrorized at school.”
And you say, “That is impossible. You go to a good school. All the adults I know say it is a good school, so you must be fine. Go back out there.”
And you walk away, convinced that your child must be wrong. You’ve abandoned your child, because you’re not taking his or her report as possibly accurate.
Your wife or sister comes to you and says, “I am being harassed, threatened and terrorized out on the street by men. I experience gender inequality on a daily basis. I live in some degree of constant fear for my personal safety, just because I am a woman.”
And you say, “That is impossible. Sexism is over. Women now occupy relatively high places of power in this country. You are fine.”
And you walk away, convinced that your loved one must be wrong. You have abandoned her, because you are not taking her report as possibly accurate.
Your friends, community, neighbors, co-workers of color come to you and say, “I am harassed, threatened, terrorized on the street by police officers. I am experiencing systemic inequality on a daily basis. I live in constant fear that myself, my brother, my son, will be unfairly convicted of a crime, or shot on the street, simply because of what we look like.”
And you say, “That is impossible. Racism has been conquered. We have a black president. Everyone lives an equal life here.”
And you walk away, convinced that this person is wrong. You have abandoned them, because you are not taking their report as possibly accurate.
My question to you is: In any of these cases, have you done your best?
Some of the most disturbing, subtle, insidious, racist comments I’ve seen over the past few weeks have been from my white male Facebook friends. I know a lot of my friends are just mass defriending people, but I’m not quite there yet, because I’m (foolishly, naively) hoping I can reach some of you in a way that creates some kind of change. I know, I know, who ever had his mind changed from something he read on the Internet? But here I am, tilting at windmills.
First, let me say, I’m not addressing you to put you on the defensive. I don’t want to fight. But I really am hoping to reach your heart. So please start with holding what I’m going to say in love and openness, and see if you can let this reach your heart before you fight it with your brain meats.
Next, let me say, this doesn’t apply to all of you. There are some great allies, advocates and freedom fighters among my friends, and I ask you to join this discussion.
OK, let’s do this.
My white male friend, you might actually believe in your heart that you are not racist. You might actually believe that this country is full of equality and justice, and get offended at the idea that it’s not, so this might be really difficult for you.
When people tell us that something we believe to be true is actually not 100 percent true, or maybe not true for everyone, we can experience cognitive dissonance. One way to respond to this is to walk away, or get defensive. Another way to respond is to compassionately lean in to it; lean in to our discomfort, our fear, our panic, our incredulity, our doubt. Open ourselves to the idea that our beliefs are just ideas that we go out and seek support for, and therefore there are other ideas out there that could become our beliefs, very easily, if we were willing to open ourselves up and expand our frame of reference.
That is what I’m inviting you to do here — open yourself up, compassionately expand your frame of reference.
...
I’d like to invite a thought exercise.
Your child comes to you and says, “Dad, I’m being harassed, bullied, threatened and terrorized at school.”
And you say, “That is impossible. You go to a good school. All the adults I know say it is a good school, so you must be fine. Go back out there.”
And you walk away, convinced that your child must be wrong. You’ve abandoned your child, because you’re not taking his or her report as possibly accurate.
Your wife or sister comes to you and says, “I am being harassed, threatened and terrorized out on the street by men. I experience gender inequality on a daily basis. I live in some degree of constant fear for my personal safety, just because I am a woman.”
And you say, “That is impossible. Sexism is over. Women now occupy relatively high places of power in this country. You are fine.”
And you walk away, convinced that your loved one must be wrong. You have abandoned her, because you are not taking her report as possibly accurate.
Your friends, community, neighbors, co-workers of color come to you and say, “I am harassed, threatened, terrorized on the street by police officers. I am experiencing systemic inequality on a daily basis. I live in constant fear that myself, my brother, my son, will be unfairly convicted of a crime, or shot on the street, simply because of what we look like.”
And you say, “That is impossible. Racism has been conquered. We have a black president. Everyone lives an equal life here.”
And you walk away, convinced that this person is wrong. You have abandoned them, because you are not taking their report as possibly accurate.
My question to you is: In any of these cases, have you done your best?
...
===========================================
There is plenty more at the link but the question above is what needs to be addressed in my opinion.
When you hear about racism happening to others how do you react?
Do you turn your back and deny that it is happening?
Or do you trust that they are telling the truth and try to address the very real problem they are facing?
As privileged white males we have an obligation and a duty that comes with being at the top of the pecking order and that is to ensure that we do not abuse our position.
There is ample evidence that racism is still an ongoing problem in society today. The sentences handed down to blacks for the same crimes committed by whites are longer. That is indisputable and clear factual evidence that we still have a problem.
So where do you stand?
Are you willing to face up to your brother, your father, your uncle, your coworker, your friend who says things that are racist and call them on it?
Because that is what a real man does in a situation like the one we are facing in society today.
