Thoughts from a Person Whose Mind Wanders.....

Discussion in 'Humor' started by niteowl, Feb 5, 2012.

  1. niteowl
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    niteowl Expat member

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    Thoughts from a Person Whose Mind Wanders.....
    I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
    I had amnesia once--or twice.
    I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
    Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
    All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
    If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle and boy's bicycles would be the ones without the upper frame bar.
    What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?
    They told me I was gullible...and I believed them.
    Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
    Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
    Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
    One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
    A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
    My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.
    I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
    The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
    How can there be self-help 'groups'?
    If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
    Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
    Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
     

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