Thinking

Discussion in 'Humor' started by KLSuddeth, May 20, 2004.

  1. KLSuddeth
    Online

    KLSuddeth Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    Dont slam the messenger when you read through this then get to the bottom line...... - I only am posting this cuz I thought it was FUNNY! :clap1:

    It started out innocently enough.

    I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up. Inevitably,
    though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a
    social thinker.

    I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it
    wasn't true.
    Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
    thinking all the time.

    I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment
    don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at
    lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the
    office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

    Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I turned off
    the TV and asked my husband about the meaning of life. He spent that
    night at his mother's.

    I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me
    in. He said, "Pam, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your
    thinking has become a real problem If you don't stop thinking on the
    job, you'll have to find another place to work."

    This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my
    conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been
    thinking..."

    "I know you've been thinking," he said, "and I want a divorce!"

    "But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

    "It is serious," he said, lower lip aquiver "You think as much as
    college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if
    you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

    "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and he began to cry.

    I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out
    the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.
    With NPR on the radio, I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big
    glass doors ... they didn't open. The library was closed. To this
    day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

    As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering
    for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking
    ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It
    comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why
    I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

    I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
    video; last week it was "Dumb and Dumber." Then we share experience
    about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job,
    and things are a lot better at home.

    Life just seemed ... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

    Soon, I will be able to vote Republican.
     
  2. Jmarie
    Offline

    Jmarie Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2004
    Messages:
    457
    Thanks Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    Iowa
    Ratings:
    +3
    :clap: :clap: :clap1:
     
  3. 5stringJeff
    Offline

    5stringJeff Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2003
    Messages:
    9,990
    Thanks Received:
    536
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Puyallup, WA
    Ratings:
    +540
    Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
     
  4. KLSuddeth
    Online

    KLSuddeth Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    poop-de-doo to you too

    :poop:

    :p:
     
  5. nycflasher
    Offline

    nycflasher Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2004
    Messages:
    3,078
    Thanks Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Location:
    CT
    Ratings:
    +14
    :ali:

    Funny stuff.
    Thanks for the laugh. This Data Storage discussion is pretty booooooooooooring.

    Remember in Charlie Brown, the wa-wa-wa's of the teacher? That's this class for me, Net+ certification.

    OSPF protocol, EIGRP, man what is thsi Chinese?:(
     
  6. NewGuy
    Online

    NewGuy Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    Nobody seemed to realize/comment on the fact that if you eliminate the bottom line about politics, this is pretty true to life.

    -IF one ever STARTS to think.
     
  7. KLSuddeth
    Online

    KLSuddeth Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    ;)
     
  8. Jmarie
    Offline

    Jmarie Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2004
    Messages:
    457
    Thanks Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    Iowa
    Ratings:
    +3

    I hear ya on the whole school thing...I had to sit through Human geography...it was so boring...and than I had to go and sit through a tape on sexual harassment in the work place...Oh this day is going to suck. now i have to do a paper on death..Any offer on doing it for me..I pay with food..:cof: (that's all I have)..:p:
     
  9. scubamike
    Online

    scubamike Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    You mean you can now get training on sexual harrassment?!?!
    Dang, I gotta get me to school...find me a woman :p
     

Share This Page