Thinking about death

[Judicial review]

I never thought of it like this. I have always believed that people can build a life they like, if they work at it and are willing to struggle. A young guy I know that I started working with when he was 16 was an accessory to a double homicide when he was 20. Did 8 years in prison. But got his high school diploma and some training in prison. Works now in an auto parts warehouse. Married with 4 kids in his late 30s. Would not say his life is or has ever been perfect but he has built a good one.

What makes his circumstances better than some one else's? I think it is his attitude. He did not give up.

I didn't give up either. I kept trying. To no avail.
Live and learn.

Gracie you either didn't try hard enough because your are lazy idiot or you didn't take the time to consider or simply find out your options for a better life.

Either way people like you have earned where you are at.

Seriously, you may be one of the sorriest pieces of shit that I have ever encountered on the internet....and since I have been on many, many website forums? That's saying quite a bit.........you will reap what you sow and I would not want to be on the receiving end of the karma you have coming to you.

Ah. I was wondering who you were talking to. I have JR on ignore for a reason.

You didn't miss anything...he just exposed himself for being a sorry prick. Hugs.

If you plan on helping Gracie actually helping you can't unless your honest. By being honest you'll be a pick. Start getting used to it

 

[Dale Smith]

Ok. This needs clarification, but I won't talk about it in detail. My childhood sucked. My mother was extremely abusive and not just verbally. My father was a great guy, but he didn't stop the abuse even though he knew it was happening. I bailed at 17 years old. He gave me the money to run off. And I did.
From then on, life has pretty much sucked. But I lived it. I worked, had a roof over my head on my own efforts, eventually married, had 2 kids, sucked at being a good mom. I just didn't have the ability or knowledge how to be one since I was raised as a "burden". Shit happened. Bad shit. But I carried on and did the best I could. I am soon to be 64. I began falling apart at 58. I beat breast cancer. I am still here. But I am tired. I am ready to go. I do not fear it. It's just another adventure for me...death is. Maybe wherever I land afterwards will be better than what I have lived on this earth and MAYBE, I hope, some of the things I did do that were right, were good things for other people. That's it. That's all. Done.

Even though there is a direct corrolation between abuse and neglect and generations it can be broken if the person wants it to. Don't blame your parents for how you are blame you and you'll heal.

The only thing in your life you have me beat on is cancer. You think childhood abuse is bad try 21 years of it. Try having to feed all 5 people in family paycheck to paycheck for 7 years right after high school graduation. The day after. Try feeling the anxiety of if you make 1 mistake your whole family doesn't eat or you lose your home. Try being the most hated man in your family after sacrificing everything and your life to save them.

I don't blame anybody. I actually thank god everyday for who I am.

Wrap your head around that.

Sorry about what I said earlier...if what you said is true, you are one helluva human being.

 

[Carla_Danger]

I'd rather die then to live under Bernie Sanders like idiots like you want.

Go Bernie!

 

[Carla_Danger]

I mostly think about my children and dogs, and what outfit to wear for the occasion.

 

[Carla_Danger]

I really need to find Gawd parents for my dogs. I don't know anyone that wants to take care of 4 pugs. They need to stay together because they are a family.

Maybe strollingbones could talk to grumpy?

 

[Judicial review]

Ok. This needs clarification, but I won't talk about it in detail. My childhood sucked. My mother was extremely abusive and not just verbally. My father was a great guy, but he didn't stop the abuse even though he knew it was happening. I bailed at 17 years old. He gave me the money to run off. And I did.
From then on, life has pretty much sucked. But I lived it. I worked, had a roof over my head on my own efforts, eventually married, had 2 kids, sucked at being a good mom. I just didn't have the ability or knowledge how to be one since I was raised as a "burden". Shit happened. Bad shit. But I carried on and did the best I could. I am soon to be 64. I began falling apart at 58. I beat breast cancer. I am still here. But I am tired. I am ready to go. I do not fear it. It's just another adventure for me...death is. Maybe wherever I land afterwards will be better than what I have lived on this earth and MAYBE, I hope, some of the things I did do that were right, were good things for other people. That's it. That's all. Done.

Even though there is a direct corrolation between abuse and neglect and generations it can be broken if the person wants it to. Don't blame your parents for how you are blame you and you'll heal.

The only thing in your life you have me beat on is cancer. You think childhood abuse is bad try 21 years of it. Try having to feed all 5 people in family paycheck to paycheck for 7 years right after high school graduation. The day after. Try feeling the anxiety of if you make 1 mistake your whole family doesn't eat or you lose your home. Try being the most hated man in your family after sacrificing everything and your life to save them.

I don't blame anybody. I actually thank god everyday for who I am.

Wrap your head around that.

Sorry about what I said earlier...if what you said is true, you are one helluva human being.

Thank you. That's only half.

 

[pillars]

For 8 years I ran a company, I made $millions in profits, not revenue, profits...for someone else. I put everything of myself into the job. And accomplished a LOT in my tenure...for someone else. And after 8 years of growth and margins well above industry average - they sold the business to an even larger corporation that merged the operation. Fuck me.
Of course I was offered a position, and I had offers all over the county. But I made a decision that I will never do this again. I do not want to spend 15 more years of 10-12 hour days. the stress and burden of running a business.
So now I operate a much smaller business, make a third of what I use to - but that is okay, I am set. More importantly I work a third as hard also.

I had a similar experience. I worked in the corporate sector as a technical expert for 15 years. I am one of the top people in the U.S. in my particular area of expertise. I traveled all over the U.S., spoke a lot at conferences, and made good money. But, at the end of the day, all the hours I put in, there was no ultimate satisfaction to it.

Now I run a small program and supervise 7 people. But, I feel like there is a lot of loyalty from the community to us, and we make a difference in people's lives. Now that I have been here 3 years, quite a few kids we've worked with have come back to visit and tell us that we changed their lives.

That shit matters to me. I make a lot less money, but I love what I do, and it matters. The young people we work with, their lives are better because of the work we do. I can basically go anywhere in our town and run into someone I know, too. It's like a big small town. I feel like we have these partnerships with other agencies, and I have a great deal of respect and affection for my partners, and they reciprocate that.

I guess my life is satisfying to me because it's not just about me...it's about the relationships I have with other people, and the ways we help each other.

I do think about death because I have to weigh risks in the work that I do, and the possibility of being hurt or killed is always there, but I don't mind the idea of dying for something that matters to me.

Don't think I'm in a rush to get there, I'm not. But i do want to live my life in a way that is fearless. To recognize that the possibility of death is there, but to do what needs to be done regardless.

I think there's some truth to this quote.

 

[Iceweasel]

We have a semi-closed market system in America. We do not have free markets. We have markets that are HEAVILY favored towards the largest companies within those markets, as well as a tax system - corrupt local/state governments that give them HUGE tax breaks that smaller companies could only dream of. They write regulations that choke small businesses while helping large established businesses.
It is awful what is happening. Corporations have turned America into a collection of "Anytown, USA" - everytown has the same box stores, drug chains, grocer chains, retail chains doing 90% + of each market.
But I digress

Yep. Everyday big business gets bigger, corporations are swallowing up the economy and the money goes into their coffers. The old golden rule, them that has the gold makes the rules. I've run my own show for 30 years and made a decision at the beginning to keep my business small, mostly working by myself. It was production stuff so not easy to do it all but I also saved myself a lot of stress. It's easy to turn work down when you don't have big wheels to grease.

And with increased regulations and a population increasing becoming corporation zombies needing their guidance I am glad I made the decision so I can afford to watch the show from the sidelines. I had a brother that made his company millions and ended up drinking himself to death. It ain't worth it if you can't spend it.

 

[strollingbones]

I really need to find Gawd parents for my dogs. I don't know anyone that wants to take care of 4 pugs. They need to stay together because they are a family.

Maybe strollingbones could talk to grumpy?

i would take them in a heartbeat....or a heart stop...dont be sillie you will be here for a time

 

[Iceweasel]

www.near-death.com
I like this site, if you wade through the NDE's you start to get a feel for those that seem real, and those that are not. It makes one pause. I lost my mother when I was 7. She died after an 18 month fight with cancer, this was back in 1983. My father flew F-4's for the AF. I lived every day as a child certain that I'd be an orphan by bed time. (My father is alive and well btw) Death has always haunted me. I used to close my eyes and see death, seriously. A person I know had passed, and I could see them, lying generally on a table, or a slab, and for just a brief moment I'd feel the cold emptiness that was their non-existence. It would keep me up for hours. I'm torn on the thought of an ever lasting life. I'm a Christian, I believe in God, but my faith has it's doubts, it's questions as is normal. The one that haunts me the most is:
For me, if there is nothing after we die, the injustices of life are compounded beyond expectation. It means our existence is truly, meaningless. No matter how "good" or "evil" you were life in death we are are equal to oblivion. It means that the moment you die, you cease to have existed, why exist at all? Your loved ones aren't in a better place, they are in the same place as the criminal your state put to death last week. No where. It means the hedonist were right, and humanity's obsession with religion was beyond misguided. Thus I cannot accept this is the end, but I sometimes fear that this non-acceptance is rejection of the injustice rather than rational thought.

No one can know for certainty, all I know is I don't want to live my life ripping people off or taking advantage of them. If animals can do it humans should be able to but many don't.

I've had a few things that convince me there is another dimension we can't see and even when I was a Christian I didn't have an answer. I honestly think mankind gets screwed up when he sees life as either a rewards or punishment program.

 

[Carla_Danger]

I really need to find Gawd parents for my dogs. I don't know anyone that wants to take care of 4 pugs. They need to stay together because they are a family.

Maybe strollingbones could talk to grumpy?

i would take them in a heartbeat....or a heart stop...dont be sillie you will be here for a time

Oh, I just posted that so you could tease grumpy.

Thank you, though..

 

[Andylusion]

For 8 years I ran a company, I made $millions in profits, not revenue, profits...for someone else. I put everything of myself into the job. And accomplished a LOT in my tenure...for someone else. And after 8 years of growth and margins well above industry average - they sold the business to an even larger corporation that merged the operation. Fuck me.
Of course I was offered a position, and I had offers all over the county. But I made a decision that I will never do this again. I do not want to spend 15 more years of 10-12 hour days. the stress and burden of running a business.
So now I operate a much smaller business, make a third of what I use to - but that is okay, I am set. More importantly I work a third as hard also.

I had a similar experience. I worked in the corporate sector as a technical expert for 15 years. I am one of the top people in the U.S. in my particular area of expertise. I traveled all over the U.S., spoke a lot at conferences, and made good money. But, at the end of the day, all the hours I put in, there was no ultimate satisfaction to it.

Now I run a small program and supervise 7 people. But, I feel like there is a lot of loyalty from the community to us, and we make a difference in people's lives. Now that I have been here 3 years, quite a few kids we've worked with have come back to visit and tell us that we changed their lives.

That shit matters to me. I make a lot less money, but I love what I do, and it matters. The young people we work with, their lives are better because of the work we do. I can basically go anywhere in our town and run into someone I know, too. It's like a big small town. I feel like we have these partnerships with other agencies, and I have a great deal of respect and affection for my partners, and they reciprocate that.

I guess my life is satisfying to me because it's not just about me...it's about the relationships I have with other people, and the ways we help each other.

I do think about death because I have to weigh risks in the work that I do, and the possibility of being hurt or killed is always there, but I don't mind the idea of dying for something that matters to me.

Don't think I'm in a rush to get there, I'm not. But i do want to live my life in a way that is fearless. To recognize that the possibility of death is there, but to do what needs to be done regardless.

I think there's some truth to this quote.

How many millions on millions of people throughout history, found things they were willing to die for, and what real difference did it make when you look at the world around us?

I wager the key difference between us is those 'relationships' you talk about. I have to assume that's likely the greater influence on you.

Can't say I would even be able to understand what that means. People have only ever caused pain. Relationship? For what? To be stabbed in the back by more people? I'll pass.

But hey, if it works for you, I assume you have had good experiences then. Best to you.

BTW, it's one of the reasons I'm on this forum, Ironically. People scream, curse, yell, call me names, and endlessly insult me, and I just laugh at them. After 25 years of it, it no longer even stings. Something to be said for being numb to the world I suppose.

 

[pillars]

How many millions on millions of people throughout history, found things they were willing to die for, and what real difference did it make when you look at the world around us?

I guess it depends on what they died for. For instance, the people who died on the beaches of Normandy to stop the scourge of Nazism....I think they made a difference. Not for millions of years, but for hundreds, at the very least, and for millions of people.

Can't say I would even be able to understand what that means. People have only ever caused pain. Relationship? For what? To be stabbed in the back by more people? I'll pass.

i'm sorry that this is your experience of life.

But hey, if it works for you, I assume you have had good experiences then. Best to you.

Actually, I was abused as a child, and abused and cheated on during my marriage. But, I didn't let those experiences stop me from finding a way to make a difference for other people, and that made all the difference for me, I guess.

 

[Gracie]

I really need to find Gawd parents for my dogs. I don't know anyone that wants to take care of 4 pugs. They need to stay together because they are a family.

Maybe strollingbones could talk to grumpy?

I'd take 'em. But you hafta take Karma and Moki if MrG is dead along with me.
I worry about my furkids. But...I think I will outlive them. Good. Cuz karma would freak without me.

 

[Carla_Danger]

I really need to find Gawd parents for my dogs. I don't know anyone that wants to take care of 4 pugs. They need to stay together because they are a family.

Maybe strollingbones could talk to grumpy?

I'd take 'em. But you hafta take Karma and Moki if MrG is dead along with me.
I worry about my furkids. But...I think I will outlive them. Good. Cuz karma would freak without me.

They are welcome to come stay at my zoo anytime.

 

[Mindful]

I'd rather die then to live under Bernie Sanders like idiots like you want.

Or you could emigrate?

 

[miketx]

nope