~Things You Learn In The South~

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Dabs, Jun 25, 2011.

  1. Dabs
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    Dabs ~Unpredictable~

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    Things You Learn in the South ...................


    A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.


    There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.


    There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one’s seen before.


    If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.


    ‘Onced’ and ‘Twiced’ are words.


    It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!


    ‘Jaw-P’? means ‘Did ya’ll go to the bathroom’?


    People actually grow and eat okra.


    ‘Fixinto’ is one word. It means ‘I’m fixing to do that’.



    There is no such thing as ‘lunch’. There is only dinner and then there is supper.


    Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.


    Backwards and forwards means ‘I know everything about you’.


    The word ‘jeet’ is actually a phrase meaning ‘Did you eat?


    You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.


    You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH ‘em.


    ‘No, Jew?’ is a common response to the question, ‘Did you bring any beer?’


    You measure distance in minutes.


    You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.


    All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.


    You know what a ‘DAWG’ is.


    You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.


    You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony’s, Tabasco and ketchup.


    The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, and gossip.


    You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.


    You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit ‘a bit warm’.


    You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.


    Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as ‘goin’ Wal-Martin’ or ‘off to Wally World’.


    You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.


    Fried catfish is the other white meat.


    We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive dag-nabbit.
     
  2. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    lol

    I lived in the wonderous state of Tennessee for years. I knew I'd made "true southern" when my mother (Queen's English junkie) screamed at me for using "fixin" as a verb.

    Other "southisms".....

    When you actually consider the proper grammatical use of y'all.

    Y'all is to be used in a singular state. All y'all is plural.

    And I actually yelled at my dog for trying to chew on the antler in the back seat because we had planned on making a key rack out of it.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2011
  3. tonystewart1
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    tonystewart1 VIP Member

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    I love the south. I once live in yankeeville for a few years and thought I was going to die. Northern VA is not the south regardless what you may have heard. Anything north of Charleston WV is the north to me.
     
  4. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    One thing you have to remember though, redneck is a state of mind. And every country has them.

    My cousins actually converted a datsun into a log splitter. And they are from waaaaaaaayyy up where the rivers flow north not south.

    What I miss the most about the south is the genteel manner of so many good folks.

    Women don't get sweaty in the heat, they get "dewey".

    Men hold open doors for women. Young children being mindful of their parents and being so polite you think you have fallen into a movie about Emily Post.
     
  5. chikenwing
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    chikenwing Guest

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    where's yankeeville??,and your right NV is not the south,get past Fredricksburg,then your in the south,ask anyone from SC they will say the south starts at the NC/SC boarder.Lived and worked all over the south east back in the 80's many things I liked some not so much.

    whats the difference when you run into the Baptist preacher,or the Methodist minister you meet Saturday night at the Liqueur store??
     
  6. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    bbq battles

    oh my oh my

    a quizzillion variations and trying from scratch to beat your neighbors basting bbq. And making sure no one saw you at piggly wigglys shopping for ingredients for your secret dry rub.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2011
  7. tonystewart1
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    tonystewart1 VIP Member

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    That is true. Civility is gone in most of the country is seems like.

    I made the mistake of trying to introduce the concept of coon hunting to some guys I was working with in Scranton PA. I explained that you turn the dogs loose and they chase the coon up a tree and then you shoot the coon or let him go. Next thing I know I am in HR being told that racism would not be tolerated in the workplace and if I wanted to keep my job then I would have to attend racial sensitivity training for 2 weekends. It never occured to me that they would mistake my term for racoon as a racial slur. :cuckoo:
     
  8. Sarah G
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    Sarah G When Nothing Goes Right, Go Left Supporting Member

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    To stay off of Uncle Jed's lap?
     
  9. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    lol

    It took me a bit of a while to get PC so I didn't get banned from boards for talking about going outside and having a quick puff of a fag.

    Fag = cigarette in Britain and for those who've grown up with that slang.

    Coons would set them clean off in an HR situation :lol:
     
  10. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    Until I visited the South, I thought the Yankees were a baseball team from New York.
     

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