things to look forword to with my kids

manu1959

Left Coast Isolationist
Oct 28, 2004
13,761
1,652
48
california
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200
adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound

Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman

cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint

can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20
ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the
ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a

bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times

before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit
a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in
the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when
dizzy.

The preceeding came from an anonymous Mother in
Austin, Texas as things she learned from her Boys (honest and not
kidding):
 
humm...from my perspective is making your dreams come true...regardless of the opposition and nay sayers..."Happy Daze" rocks! :D Hopefully a dream to leave to the kids as a legacy!
 
Shattered said:
Not so. Pure acetone will remove superglue (and most finishes).

EMK also works really well. I once poured that stuff on some duct tape to try to weaken the adhesive. It liquified it. I didn't peel off the duct tape; I wiped it up with a paper towel. Oh, and I was high for 3 hours afterwards. On second thought, don't use EMK.
 
GotZoom said:
I had a friend in school.

I did not participate.

But...*head down"...I did watch.

I was young...impressionable...

But I have seen the error in my ways.

Look at this face...How COULD you?
 

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Shattered said:
Look at this face...How COULD you?

I repented. I did. I said so above...seen the error in my ways.

Cats are cool. Cats are cool. Cats are cool.

Well...Two cats are cool. Two cats are cool. Two cats are cool.

My new mantra.
 
Semper Fi said:
Oh it's easy just click...BANG!

;)

A fondness for firearms, and hurting things smaller than you does not make you cool. ;)
 
manu1959 said:
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

So I upset my wife by asking if she knew if we had any dust bunnies. Then I upset her again by spraying the rare creature with her hairspray. Then I disappointed the kids when I sped down the street - no fire!

My neigbours think I am crazy now.
-"Go dad, faster - Noooooooo"

So...

I need another hairspary? Any hints?
 
manu1959 said:
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200
adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound

Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman

cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint

can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20
ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the
ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a

bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times

before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit
a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in
the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when
dizzy.

The preceeding came from an anonymous Mother in
Austin, Texas as things she learned from her Boys (honest and not
kidding):

If this womans children made it to adulthood, she's a saint.

Heard my boys having this discussion one day. 8 year old, "Why did she come down here? We were being so quiet." 12 year old, "I don't know, she always does that."

Moral of the story, if it's to quiet they're probably up to something.
 

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