things to look forword to with my kids

Discussion in 'Humor' started by manu1959, Apr 6, 2006.

  1. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
    2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

    2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
    over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

    3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200
    adults in a crowded restaurant.

    4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
    motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound

    Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman

    cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint

    can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20
    ft. room.

    5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the
    ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a

    bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times

    before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit
    a baseball a long way.

    6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
    stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

    7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
    oh", it's already too late.

    8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
    lots of it.

    9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint
    rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in
    the movies.

    10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
    tract of a 4-year old Boy.

    11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
    the same sentence.

    12.) Super glue is forever.

    13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
    pool you still can't walk on water.

    14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

    15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
    though TV commercials show they do.

    16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

    17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
    driving.

    18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
    is.

    19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
    plastic toys do not like ovens.

    20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
    response time.

    21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
    make earthworms dizzy.

    22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

    23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when
    dizzy.

    The preceeding came from an anonymous Mother in
    Austin, Texas as things she learned from her Boys (honest and not
    kidding):
     
  2. archangel
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    archangel Guest

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    humm...from my perspective is making your dreams come true...regardless of the opposition and nay sayers..."Happy Daze" rocks! :D Hopefully a dream to leave to the kids as a legacy!
     
  3. Shattered
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    Shattered Guest

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    Not so. Pure acetone will remove superglue (and most finishes).
     
  4. Hobbit
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    Hobbit Senior Member

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    EMK also works really well. I once poured that stuff on some duct tape to try to weaken the adhesive. It liquified it. I didn't peel off the duct tape; I wiped it up with a paper towel. Oh, and I was high for 3 hours afterwards. On second thought, don't use EMK.
     
  5. GotZoom
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    GotZoom Senior Member

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    I can personally vouch for 8, 11, 17, 22, and 23.

    Don't ask.
     
  6. Shattered
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    :mad:
     
  7. GotZoom
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    GotZoom Senior Member

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    I had a friend in school.

    I did not participate.

    But...*head down"...I did watch.

    I was young...impressionable...

    But I have seen the error in my ways.
     
  8. Shattered
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    Look at this face...How COULD you?
     

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  9. GotZoom
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    GotZoom Senior Member

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    I repented. I did. I said so above...seen the error in my ways.

    Cats are cool. Cats are cool. Cats are cool.

    Well...Two cats are cool. Two cats are cool. Two cats are cool.

    My new mantra.
     
  10. Semper Fi
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    Semper Fi VIP Member

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    Oh it's easy just click...BANG!

    ;)
     

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