The Worst Thing a Friend can Do?

[G.T.]

Reps mean . <--- that much to my life. Hopefully you concur.

 

[Dis]

Reps mean . <--- that much to my life. Hopefully you concur.

Just sayin.. It's kind of odd that you're calling me obtuse, when a majority of others seem to get it, and so far, only you and Malio don't...

 

[RodISHI]

If I'd meant kidnapping, I'd have used the word "kidnapping". She simply wasn't your girl to begin with if she's going to cheat on you. Period.

Tho.. I'm guessing killing you would sever any type of friendship (superficial or otherwise) pretty well...

That's so subjective. People in love cheat all of the time. You're getting too involved in a very straight forward declaration: if a friend fucks my current girl (my girl in a mutual relationship not verbally severed); he will never see my face again if-not but to put him on smash.

And if he were a *true friend* it wouldn't be an issue, since he wouldn't fuck her. Your definition of "friend" is just as generic as most peoples, when in fact, he's likely just a friendly acquaintance.

This conversation reminds me of a few people I know back in the younger days. They passed girls around. Pretty disgusting. I'm with Dis and understand what she is saying. A true friend does not sleep with your boyfriend/girlfriend. If they do they were not truly a friend to begin with. On the same note a girlfriend/boyfriend that screws your best friend is not really worth having nor were they ever yours/truly love. Sorry guys that is just the way it is. Another thought is people do not own other people. If a person makes a commitment to be solely your GF/BF then they should break it off if they change their minds instead of sleeping around and hurting the others feelings.

 

[G.T.]

Reps mean . <--- that much to my life. Hopefully you concur.

Just sayin.. It's kind of odd that you're calling me obtuse, when a majority of others seem to get it, and so far, only you and Malio don't...

No, see you were called "obtuse" because there's nothing you're saying that isn't obvious, or "to get." It's just stupid common-sense statements like "friends wouldn't do that," or "a girl who cheats was never really your girl."

Se....guess what? Those statements are not groundbreaking. They are obvious platitudes.

I'm just saying..................noone cares, we're just answering the fucking question at face value and not trying to be all philosophical about it like your boring ass is.

You feel me? Salut!~

 

[Dis]

Reps mean . <--- that much to my life. Hopefully you concur.

Just sayin.. It's kind of odd that you're calling me obtuse, when a majority of others seem to get it, and so far, only you and Malio don't...

No, see you were called "obtuse" because there's nothing you're saying that isn't obvious, or "to get." It's just stupid common-sense statements like "friends wouldn't do that," or "a girl who cheats was never really your girl."

Se....guess what? Those statements are not groundbreaking. They are obvious platitudes.

I'm just saying..................noone cares, we're just answering the fucking question at face value and not trying to be all philosophical about it like your boring ass is.

You feel me? Salut!~

Didn't you say you're in your late 20's or something? What's with the teeny-bopper gangsta rap talk?

 

[AllieBaba]

Salud. That makes 2 times in one day you've been called boring.

 

[Neser Boha]

I agree...

and it's interesting. this is something i've been contemplating for the last few days.

what do you do when you know someone you trusted has lied to you?

I guess it depends on the nature of the lie - and also - how important of a friend that is.

If I cared enough about my friend and our friendship, I would confront him/her about it. I'd try to find out why, the context, etc. Attempt to have a nice heart to heart conversation and one might just find out that there is something much bigger lying under the surface ...

I'm personally very bad at confrontation ... I have to really care in order to make myself confront somebody as I HATE doing it. However, if that friend means/meant a lot to you, that should be enough of a reason to talk it out.

</ My unsolicited advice >

If I'm reading between the lines correctly, you sound like an easy going personality. What tends to happen with our type of personalities is some people (A types) take that for weakness and you kinda get run over. If you wake up in a bad mood some morning, take advantage of it, kick some butt, metaphorically, you will get more respect and less need for confrontation in the long run. (I know, your thinking, what the hell was that about and who is this nut)....

Well, thank you for attempting to help me out .. sweet of you

As a matter of fact, I'm one of the few people that will actually stand up for themselves, as well as rights of those around them (even if it means loosing favor with the boss or even loosing a 'friend' if need be). I can put up a good scene too. But, being capable of it doesn't mean I like doing it, I keep it down to a bare minimum - use confrontation as a weapon of last resort.

Besides, I get my share of confrontation here on USMB these days

 

[Dis]

Salud. That makes 2 times in one day you've been called boring.

Oh, the horror.

 

[G.T.]

Didn't you say you're in your late 20's or something? What's with the teeny-bopper gangsta rap talk?

Yeeeert. I talk like me.

That is all.

 

[Lumpy 1]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. If it's a spouse, more than likely. If it's a friend, coworker or acquaintance, you can set the parameters of the relationship without a word.

Just back away and stop including that person as much as you once did. If they push the issue with you, THEN just tell them straight-up. I've done it. You violate trust and I don't give a damn about hurting your feelings anyway. I won't seek you out to tell you about it, but it you ask ...I'm not know much for mincing words.

I don't know you well obviously but If someone deliberately wrongs you, somehow, I doubt you wouldn't confront them for the satisfaction of watching them squirm a little and getting them back on the right page for the future. Somewhere in there is honor and integrity, not confronting only causes regrets, hell I have regrets, damn it...

As I mentioned previously, it depends on the circumstances. My response to jillian was based on the circumstance she gave. Response would definitely be commensurate to the deliberate wrong.

If, as you say, it is a deliberate wrong, then that person knows it's wrong and the knowledge that you know and have cut the friendship is enough. Making them squirm requires effort and attention they no longer deserve.

I suppose it comes down to severity and what baggage your willing to carry around with you. Baggage meaning unresolved issues.

 

[Lumpy 1]

I guess it depends on the nature of the lie - and also - how important of a friend that is.

If I cared enough about my friend and our friendship, I would confront him/her about it. I'd try to find out why, the context, etc. Attempt to have a nice heart to heart conversation and one might just find out that there is something much bigger lying under the surface ...

I'm personally very bad at confrontation ... I have to really care in order to make myself confront somebody as I HATE doing it. However, if that friend means/meant a lot to you, that should be enough of a reason to talk it out.

</ My unsolicited advice >

If I'm reading between the lines correctly, you sound like an easy going personality. What tends to happen with our type of personalities is some people (A types) take that for weakness and you kinda get run over. If you wake up in a bad mood some morning, take advantage of it, kick some butt, metaphorically, you will get more respect and less need for confrontation in the long run. (I know, your thinking, what the hell was that about and who is this nut)....

Well, thank you for attempting to help me out .. sweet of you

As a matter of fact, I'm one of the few people that will actually stand up for themselves, as well as rights of those around them (even if it means loosing favor with the boss or even loosing a 'friend' if need be). I can put up a good scene too. But, being capable of it doesn't mean I like doing it, I keep it down to a bare minimum - use confrontation as a weapon of last resort.

Besides, I get my share of confrontation here on USMB these days

Thanks for taking my nosy advice as it was intended, your an understanding gal.

 

[JakeStarkey]

How to handle A type personalities who get in your way? Metaphorically headslap. If that doesn't work, headslap them again. Then do it again, again, and again. The best type of individual to begin learning how to do this would be public school counselors. Pick one if they are in your field of contact, and simply tell them "no". Then watch the reaction. It is a hoot!

 

[random3434]

Would most of you who were married say your spouse is your best friend?

Now,what it that best friend has an affair behind your back.

That's one of the worst things that can happen imo. How do you ever trust them again, 100%, even if they say they'll never do it again?