The Worst Thing a Friend can Do?

[chanel]

For me, it's failure to apologize. People screw up all the time. I am a very forgiving person, but expect people to make amends when they hurt you.

Fortunately, I surround myself with very decent people. I made a conscious decision to distance myself from the toxic ones a few years ago. One of the smartest decisions I've ever made.

 

[Si modo]

For me, it's failure to apologize. People screw up all the time. I am a very forgiving person, but expect people to make amends when they hurt you.

Fortunately, I surround myself with very decent people. I made a conscious decision to distance myself from the toxic ones a few years ago. One of the smartest decisions I've ever made.

Making that sort of conscious decision is quite liberating, isn't it?

 

[Neser Boha]

I agree...

and it's interesting. this is something i've been contemplating for the last few days.

what do you do when you know someone you trusted has lied to you?

I guess it depends on the nature of the lie - and also - how important of a friend that is.

If I cared enough about my friend and our friendship, I would confront him/her about it. I'd try to find out why, the context, etc. Attempt to have a nice heart to heart conversation and one might just find out that there is something much bigger lying under the surface ...

I'm personally very bad at confrontation ... I have to really care in order to make myself confront somebody as I HATE doing it. However, if that friend means/meant a lot to you, that should be enough of a reason to talk it out.

</ My unsolicited advice >

 

[strollingbones]

i think the worst is someone who just closes the door on the friendship....without giving a reason....women tend to do this to other women when they get a new man...suddenly its all about the man....

i think i am a very loyal friend...i have a couple of friends...they could call in the middle of the night and say they have a body they need to get rid of....my reply would be...let me grab a chainsaw, maddox and shovel and i am on my way...

 

[Dis]

What's the worst thing a friend can do to you?

For me it's always been lying, small (white) lies I don't really mind that much. The kind that if you just got a hair cut and you kinda know you look goofy and they say, "ya, looks good", as they turn away and roll their eyes.....

But lie to me about something of importance and your history, in the archives, gone...

Destroy my faith in them, and my faith in the friendship... Faith isn't something I just "have", and it takes a long time to develop, given the overall nature of "humans". To have it just thrown aside is an emotional breaking point for me..even moreso than lies.

 

[Zoom-boing]

The Worst Thing a Friend can Do?

Stop calling.

 

[froggy]

Killing you and proceeding to screw around with your wife would probably top the list.

If they kill you THEN screw around with your wife, what does the latter matter?

Technically, she'd be a widow anyway.

no screwing your wife while being your friend.

 

[Ringel05]

For me, it's failure to apologize. People screw up all the time. I am a very forgiving person, but expect people to make amends when they hurt you.

Fortunately, I surround myself with very decent people. I made a conscious decision to distance myself from the toxic ones a few years ago. One of the smartest decisions I've ever made.

My parents did something at least a decade ago, they apologized for being human when raising me and my brothers. Realized later that was quite liberating for me. The opposite happened with my wife's family, the only one she has any contact with is her youngest brother, Serious Toxic family situation, they're alcoholic rednecks and see apologizing as a weakness to be exploited.

 

[RodISHI]

I'd say betraying trust is a biggy. I have a few friends over the years that are still very close. One asked me some years ago if I would write him a letter of reference since I had pertinent information that very few people had. Rod told me when I was considering it all, "This may do some damage to you. You need to know that." I responded possibly I guess it could but what kind of friend leaves another friend hanging when they know they may be able to help? To me loyalty and standing on the truth means a great deal. Those are the type of friends I have.

 

[Colin]

What's the worst thing a friend can do to you?

For me it's always been lying, small (white) lies I don't really mind that much. The kind that if you just got a hair cut and you kinda know you look goofy and they say, "ya, looks good", as they turn away and roll their eyes.....

But lie to me about something of importance and your history, in the archives, gone...

Fix a blind date with two chicks and leave me with the ugly fat one.

 

[masquerade]

To drop me as a friend without any explanation. To end all communication and to pretend I never existed. To forget about all the times we shared, all the conversations and the smiles and the laughter ... the sorrow and the pain. For someone who I thought was a friend, to just up and leave my hanging, wondering what the hell happened is one of the worst things a SO-CALLED FRIEND could do.

And no ... there is no chance in HELL that I will attempt to make contact with this person, for this is the second and LAST time that this individual will do this to me!

I hate this person.
I hate this person with all my heart.

 

[froggy]

To drop me as a friend without any explanation. To end all communication and to pretend I never existed. To forget about all the times we shared, all the conversations and the smiles and the laughter ... the sorrow and the pain. For someone who I thought was a friend, to just up and leave my hanging, wondering what the hell happened is one of the worst things a SO-CALLED FRIEND could do.

And no ... there is no chance in HELL that I will attempt to make contact with this person, for this is the second and LAST time that this individual will do this to me!

I hate this person.
I hate this person with all my heart.

that'll happen when they find out your gay.

 

[masquerade]

To drop me as a friend without any explanation. To end all communication and to pretend I never existed. To forget about all the times we shared, all the conversations and the smiles and the laughter ... the sorrow and the pain. For someone who I thought was a friend, to just up and leave my hanging, wondering what the hell happened is one of the worst things a SO-CALLED FRIEND could do.

And no ... there is no chance in HELL that I will attempt to make contact with this person, for this is the second and LAST time that this individual will do this to me!

I hate this person.
I hate this person with all my heart.

that'll happen when they find out your gay.

Perhaps for some, but I'm not gay.

 

[Dis]

To drop me as a friend without any explanation. To end all communication and to pretend I never existed. To forget about all the times we shared, all the conversations and the smiles and the laughter ... the sorrow and the pain. For someone who I thought was a friend, to just up and leave my hanging, wondering what the hell happened is one of the worst things a SO-CALLED FRIEND could do.

And no ... there is no chance in HELL that I will attempt to make contact with this person, for this is the second and LAST time that this individual will do this to me!

I hate this person.
I hate this person with all my heart.

that'll happen when they find out your gay.

What an absolutely shitty thing to say.

 

[Dis]

To drop me as a friend without any explanation. To end all communication and to pretend I never existed. To forget about all the times we shared, all the conversations and the smiles and the laughter ... the sorrow and the pain. For someone who I thought was a friend, to just up and leave my hanging, wondering what the hell happened is one of the worst things a SO-CALLED FRIEND could do.

And no ... there is no chance in HELL that I will attempt to make contact with this person, for this is the second and LAST time that this individual will do this to me!

I hate this person.
I hate this person with all my heart.

Funny thing is...you don't hate them at all, and no matter how many times you tell yourself you do, it won't make it true..

If you did, it wouldn't bother you so much. I've found that when I finally truly hate someone, I don't give them a second thought, and there's zero emotion involved.

 

[asaratis]

What's the worst thing a friend can do to you?

For me it's always been lying, small (white) lies I don't really mind that much. The kind that if you just got a hair cut and you kinda know you look goofy and they say, "ya, looks good", as they turn away and roll their eyes.....

But lie to me about something of importance and your history, in the archives, gone...

Betray trust.

Trust is what separates friends from others for me. Not that all I trust are friends, just that all friends attain a certain level of trust. The closer they are, the more important things I trust them with.

I agree...

and it's interesting. this is something i've been contemplating for the last few days.

what do you do when you know someone you trusted has lied to you?

My 2 cents ... I see the word "lie" misused here A LOT. Might want co consider whether or not it is an actual lie, or just a different or misguided belief. If it is in fact a lie, then just back away. No real reason to point it out to that person, is there?

This is true. There are also insignificant lies such as often found in casual compliments among casual friends. Whether a lie once discovered should be pointed out or not depends on the significance of it and the degree to which you want to remain friends with the "liar". Sometimes, insignificant lies are spoken out of politeness and desire not to hurt. A truly close friend will never lie to you in private conversation whether it would hurt your feelings or not.

I had a friend once who had a secret two year affair with my ex-wife before I found out about it. Being deployed a lot in the Navy helped that situation out quite a bit I suppose but never the less, pretty crappy thing to do to anybody, let alone a friend. I don't know which I enjoyed the most. Divorcing the ex-wife or beating his ass. Both things were pretty easy to do.

Why should you care if he has an affair with your ex-wife?

The Worst Thing a Friend can Do?

Stop calling.

I have friend that hardly ever calls. What does that have to do with being a good friend?

To drop me as a friend without any explanation. To end all communication and to pretend I never existed. To forget about all the times we shared, all the conversations and the smiles and the laughter ... the sorrow and the pain. For someone who I thought was a friend, to just up and leave my hanging, wondering what the hell happened is one of the worst things a SO-CALLED FRIEND could do.

And no ... there is no chance in HELL that I will attempt to make contact with this person, for this is the second and LAST time that this individual will do this to me!

I hate this person.
I hate this person with all my heart.

Then YOU have a problem. Hate destroys the hater and the hated knows nothing of it. Just relax and try to think of other things. One good way to do that is to read a gripping good book.

 

[asaratis]

To drop me as a friend without any explanation. To end all communication and to pretend I never existed. To forget about all the times we shared, all the conversations and the smiles and the laughter ... the sorrow and the pain. For someone who I thought was a friend, to just up and leave my hanging, wondering what the hell happened is one of the worst things a SO-CALLED FRIEND could do.

And no ... there is no chance in HELL that I will attempt to make contact with this person, for this is the second and LAST time that this individual will do this to me!

I hate this person.
I hate this person with all my heart.

Funny thing is...you don't hate them at all, and no matter how many times you tell yourself you do, it won't make it true..

If you did, it wouldn't bother you so much. I've found that when I finally truly hate someone, I don't give them a second thought, and there's zero emotion involved.

But masquerade is hating "with all my heart" which I infer to mean continuous effort and concentration...making it unhealthy.

 

[Luissa]

What's the worst thing a friend can do to you?

For me it's always been lying, small (white) lies I don't really mind that much. The kind that if you just got a hair cut and you kinda know you look goofy and they say, "ya, looks good", as they turn away and roll their eyes.....

But lie to me about something of importance and your history, in the archives, gone...

I have a friend, well she isn't my friend anymore but she says she is pregnant and that she heard the heart beat at 8 weeks which is pretty much impossible. Don't believe she is pregnant because she has lied for years.

People like that crave attention. That isn't necessarily what lumpy is talking about as there doesn't appear to be any malice.

Ever just told her she doesn't have to lie to be your friend?

I told her the other day that everyone knows she lies and they just ignore it and that I am not ignoring it anymore. And I am pretty sure what she is doing is the worst thing a friend can do, she has lied to me about anything and everything for years. She even tried to tell me I pushed her down last week like I wouldn't remember I didn't.
So I have told her I don't want to be her friend anymore and that she should really stop the bullshit.

 

[jillian]

What's the worst thing a friend can do to you?

For me it's always been lying, small (white) lies I don't really mind that much. The kind that if you just got a hair cut and you kinda know you look goofy and they say, "ya, looks good", as they turn away and roll their eyes.....

But lie to me about something of importance and your history, in the archives, gone...

Destroy my faith in them, and my faith in the friendship... Faith isn't something I just "have", and it takes a long time to develop, given the overall nature of "humans". To have it just thrown aside is an emotional breaking point for me..even moreso than lies.

but isn't someone telling you the truth one of the ways they maintain your faith?

 

[mal]

Try to kill you is far worse than any that have and can be mentioned.

No, ACTUALLY Killing you is...



peace...