The Week We View for August 31st

Discussion in 'Humor' started by bobbymcgill, Aug 31, 2008.

  1. bobbymcgill

    bobbymcgill Member

    Aug 23, 2008
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    From Idle Wordship

    -It was 45 years ago this week that Dr. Martin Luther King delivered his monumental, “I have a dream” speech. It was then that he spoke of his vision that someday people would be judged by the “content of their character,” not their color, ethnicity or gender. John McCain marked the occasion by ignoring these profound words --choosing VP running mate, Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin for the content of her chromosomes.

    -There is a bumper sticker in Alaska that says, "Cold state. Hot governor."

    -Speaking of “X” chromosomes and hot women, on Friday the Associated Press reported that actor David Duchovny of X-files fame, entered a rehabilitation center for sex addiction. Duchovny, who is married and has two children with actress Téa Leoni, said in a statement to the press, “I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family. Feel free to talk dirty to me on my voice mail while I am undergoing treatment.”

    -Conservative columnist, William Safire, writing in the New York Times about Obama’s speech cleverly called it, “The Audacity of Hype.”

    -Democrats reportedly spent $6 million for the elaborate stage where Obama spoke to a crowd of 80,000. If this is any indication of how his administration will spend money I have two words for you: Tax shelter. Seriously though, how can the Democratic Party justify such a ludicrous waste of money? With Obama’s rhetorical skills all he needed was a mic and a milk crate.

    -Thailand’s ongoing anti-government demonstrations have reached such a feverish pitch that protesters shut down the country’s airports on Friday. Pretty stupid idea when considering that the average Thai earns about $200 a month and tourism brings in an average of $44 million per day. As I am often fond of saying: The problem with democracy is that sometimes it actually works.

    -In a story related to the airport closings, an Australian traveler forced to stay on the Thai island of Phuket --world renowned for its incredible beaches-- told an Aussie newspaper, "I want to go home. I have nothing to do with this situation.” Someone please kill this guy.

    -Michael Mastromarino of Fort Lee, N.J, pleaded guilty on Saturday for selling body parts nationwide for implant surgery. Unconfirmed reports say that Mastromarino was apprehended during a sting operation in which an undercover agent posing as Republican VP nominee, Sarah Palin, sought to purchase a penis. Mastromarino was convinced by the imitation-Palin when the agent reportedly said “If something should happen to John McCain as president, I want to succeed him in every way possible.”

    -Barack Obama, buoyed by a well received speech and flawless Democratic convention, hinted that he was reconsidering his presidential bid to work instead as a televangelist. “The money is much better,” remarked the candidate from Illinois. “And I won’t suffer under any Democratic tax increases.

    -Bloomberg News mistakenly published an obituary for Apple’s CEO Steve Jobs on Wednesday, covering among other things his accomplishments with the company. The news item quickly circled the globe before the mistake could be corrected. The staff (me) of Idle Wordship was fortunate to catch the retraction before running their own article, but was reportedly looking to call the piece, “iDied.”

    -At least 10 incumbent senators will skip out on the Republican National Convention. "The party brand is in tatters," said one senatorial aide. "The president is highly unpopular. There doesn't seem to be much excitement around the candidate. And there's a real fear of being tagged with the Republican label and being seen with George Bush."

    True story, I can’t make up stuff like this.

    Bobby McGill
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2008

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