The Viagra-sponsored Little Blue Pill Economic Stimulus Package

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by The BKP, Feb 17, 2009.

  1. The BKP
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    The BKP Grand Inquistor

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    One of the points I’ve emphasized to my American government classes when talking about the financial sector bailout in the fall and the soon-to-be-signed stimulus package, is the fact that we are incurring generational debt. Many Republicans have highlighted this in their opposition to the package and many of its more questionable elements.

    For example, one of the proposals originally included in the House package was several hundred million dollars for sex education and the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases. Despite Speaker Pelosi’s best defense and an ardent lesson in liberal logic, there was clearly little, if any, economic stimulant to be derived from this part of the package.

    Well, beyond condom manufacturers, perhaps.

    Though the Republicans were successful in shaming Democrats into dropping the sex ed and STD prevention funding from the package, this was petty ante in a near trillion dollar bet.

    Now as millions eagerly await the President’s signature on the historic package, no one has made an even half-hearted attempt at answering the overarching question that is the proverbial 800 pound gorilla in the room – How do you pay for it?

    And then it hit me......

    Being pro-business, perhaps Republicans should propose selling the branding or sponsorship rights to the stimulus package. Corporations sponsor community events, sports stadiums, civic arenas and college football bowl games, why not the national economic stimulus?

    The next question, then, is who might be interested in stepping up to the plate. Who might be able to tie in their products and branding with the package? Let’s take a look at a few possible sponsors and how they might approach this potential marketing bonanza.

    Let’s begin with what is arguably the President’s and the Democratic Leadership of Congress’s favorite sponsor and motto…

    The Nike Economic Stimulus Package – Just Do It

    Some companies seem naturally suited for sponsorship. For instance…

    The Lowe’s Home Economics Stimulus Plan – Let’s build something together.

    The Home Depot Package – You can do it. We can help.

    The Allstate Economic Insurance Package – You’re in good hands.

    Among the other potentially lucrative branding possibilities are…..

    The Pepsi Stimulus Package – The choice for the next generation and the next and the next….

    The Red Bull Stimulus Package – Giving you and the economy wings!

    The Preparation H Maximum Strength Package – Prompt, soothing relief for intense, long term and hard to reach discomfort, be it hemorrhoids, foreclosure or unemployment.

    The Cialis Stimulus Package – When the time is right...For you, for the economy....

    The Burger King Whopper of a Stimulus Package – Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce. No corporate bonuses don’t upset us. All we ask it that you let us serve it your way!

    The KY Jelly Lubricated Personal Stimulus Package – Helping you move smoothly through those tight spots in your love life and the economy.

    The Trojan Condom Stimulus Package – Protecting you and the economy when things get hard.

    Or perhaps, The Trojan Recession-proof Economic Prophylactic - We've got you covered!

    And finally….

    The Viagra Stimulus Package – Giving you and the nation a boost when things are looking down.

    And couldn’t we all use a little boost from time to time, faithful readers? After all, isn’t the time right?

    Stay tuned for further updates as events warrant and the tax exemption on the first $2,400 of unemployment payments is brought to you by H & R Block.
     
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  2. rayboyusmc
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    rayboyusmc Senior Member

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    What about the generational debt incurred from the war in Iraq and the trillion dollar deficit incurred by the last administration?

    If this stimulus works, there will be a better economy for our children. If it doesn't, what will be the difference from just doing tax cuts or doing nothing?
     
  3. michiganFats
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    michiganFats BANNED

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    Wow, school has changed since my day. My Government teacher was reprimanded for talking about current events in Government class.
     
  4. The BKP
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    The BKP Grand Inquistor

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    It's a university American Government class.

    It helps if you can tie the material to current events and how they two are relevant to the students' life.
     
  5. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    Good for them.

    Why weren't they worried about the intergenerational debts when their boy BUSH II was DOUBLING THE NATIONAL DEBT?

    Oh yeah, that's right, they were more concerned about the children of Iraq, I forgot.
     

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