The Tyranny Of Stuff

[Madeline]

“What I think I learned from the crash, and from some of my clients who are owned by their things, is that it is a ridiculous way of life,” Ms. Fierman says. “We did a job once because a contractor in an adjacent apartment had caused dust in a woman’s Park Avenue apartment. When she opened the door, she greeted us with the sentence, ‘Everything in this apartment is photographed, right down to the Coca-Cola bottles.’ She was basically telling my workers, ‘Don’t dare steal anything.’ She was owned by her things; she was so afraid that she cut the cleaning day short.”

Today, Ms. Fierman’s daughter, Sabrina, helps her run the business. Ms. Fierman is also creating a new life in Sayulita, a Mexican town not far from Puerto Vallarta, where she has been buying and developing rental property.

When you live in a small community and you try to make a change, you can actually see the impact of your work, she says. Her contribution is buying flea collars for the stray dogs.

“It has taken me years to really realize items are not worth worrying about,” Ms. Fierman says.

What is worth worrying about?

“People doing good things on this earth, leaving the world a better place. It doesn’t matter what you do — if you do for cats, fine; if you do for Uganda, fine; if you do for trees,” she says. But “everybody owes it to the world to make it a little bit better.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/25/garden/25clean.html?pagewanted=1

When I was newly married, I visited my in-laws at their home and watched a truely horrifying scene unfold. My FIL had a collection of slides he had piled precariously high in stacks on a tv tray -- clearly days of work, but foolishly fragile. My nephew, who was six, bumped the table and the slides went everywhere. My FIL flew into a rage that has prolly stayed with that child, and has certainly stayed with me -- I was actually afraid for the little boy's safety for a long moment.

We all have stuff we love, stuff we dun love but need and stuff we want -- but do you own your stuff or does it own you?

I'm not ready for bare walls and books I throw away after I read them, but I am finally free of such lunacy as the 20 years' worth of collected frog figurines.

Your thoughts?

 

[glew]

I understand how this happens...most of us get a home...a family...and "stuff" piles up. It becomes part of our lives as much as family. Since I have lost everything, I also understand how much more free we are when all of that worry goes away, and the world dosen't end. I have never been more happy, fearless, and free in my life. A place to stay and something to get you around is all I will ever "need" again. Nice thread Madeline

 

[Mr. H.]

My 3 year old once knocked over a commemorative plate that was near and dear to me. I ranted and raved then gave him a hug and said it's just a thing.

 

[Mr. H.]

And what's the deal with those cake baking shows where they spend hours creating these elaborate 6 ft. tall artistic masterpieces, only to have to carry them across the stage to another table? What a waste.

 

[Mr. H.]

What is........

.... the deal?

 

[Madeline]

In the case of my FIL, his rage seemed to be that others did not value his stuff as highly as he did. (And that 6 year olds are occassionally uncoordinated.) For too many of us, our stuff is us. We are ready to defend the lawn, the car or the sneakers with the vigor we should reserve for defending another person.

 

[strollingbones]

dr h for a cake to work....you must be able to transport it....that is why they must move it to another table...

stuff...i am trying to pack up a house that nothing has been tossed from in we figure 47 years or so...stuff...300 to 500 groceries bags..paper ones...why when you didnt use the first 100 did you keep collecting them?

i use to collect books....cookbooks had 100s of them...then a friend died...he had perhaps 10,000 books...i saw what this put this family thru...i gave my cookbooks away...(she has had to move them 3 times now) i try to keep the stuff down...even with that....i have way too much stuff and what is the value of all this stuff?

 

[roomy]

Probably bothers you more than it did/does the kid.He'll smash a lot of other stuff and get a rollicking for it before he learns to slow down and behave himself.

 

[mudwhistle]

“What I think I learned from the crash, and from some of my clients who are owned by their things, is that it is a ridiculous way of life,” Ms. Fierman says. “We did a job once because a contractor in an adjacent apartment had caused dust in a woman’s Park Avenue apartment. When she opened the door, she greeted us with the sentence, ‘Everything in this apartment is photographed, right down to the Coca-Cola bottles.’ She was basically telling my workers, ‘Don’t dare steal anything.’ She was owned by her things; she was so afraid that she cut the cleaning day short.”

Today, Ms. Fierman’s daughter, Sabrina, helps her run the business. Ms. Fierman is also creating a new life in Sayulita, a Mexican town not far from Puerto Vallarta, where she has been buying and developing rental property.

When you live in a small community and you try to make a change, you can actually see the impact of your work, she says. Her contribution is buying flea collars for the stray dogs.

“It has taken me years to really realize items are not worth worrying about,” Ms. Fierman says.

What is worth worrying about?

“People doing good things on this earth, leaving the world a better place. It doesn’t matter what you do — if you do for cats, fine; if you do for Uganda, fine; if you do for trees,” she says. But “everybody owes it to the world to make it a little bit better.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/25/garden/25clean.html?pagewanted=1

When I was newly married, I visited my in-laws at their home and watched a truely horrifying scene unfold. My FIL had a collection of slides he had piled precariously high in stacks on a tv tray -- clearly days of work, but foolishly fragile. My nephew, who was six, bumped the table and the slides went everywhere. My FIL flew into a rage that has prolly stayed with that child, and has certainly stayed with me -- I was actually afraid for the little boy's safety for a long moment.

We all have stuff we love, stuff we dun love but need and stuff we want -- but do you own your stuff or does it own you?

I'm not ready for bare ways and books I throw away after I read them, but I am finally free of such lunacy as the 20 years' worth of collected frog figurines.

Your thoughts?

I collect hardback books and movies. I have a personal library of both. Some people line their walls with Hummel figurines....some with books. Being surrounded by your stuff is comforting till you have to move.

 

[mudwhistle]

In the case of my FIL, his rage seemed to be that others did not value his stuff as highly as he did. (And that 6 year olds are occassionally uncoordinated.) For too many of us, our stuff is us. We are ready to defend the lawn, the car or the sneakers with the vigor we should reserve for defending another person.

I have two cats.

I love plants.

They love them too.

My plants suffer for it.

 

[editec]

I really and seriously try not to collect stuff.

I seldom buy anything and when I do I often seek out second hand stuff.

Still one of the reasons I have not sold my house and moved is precisely because I have so much accumulated stuff (the residual crap left over from raising a family AND the stuff that my wards left behind when they finally flew the coop) that just sorting it out to give away, sell or trash, is a daunting task.

For about ten years when I was on the road I basically lived out of a seabag.

Now I'd need a full sized moving van to take my possessions with me.

Just my library takes up a couple rooms and I'm not really a collector of books!

Throw in the Rosetta Library and I need a 10 ton truck to move all that.

I'm sort of hoping that a hurricane (but not a flood, cause I don't have flood insurance) blows it all away for me.

 

[mudwhistle]

I really and seriously try not to collect stuff.

I seldom buy anything and when I do I often seek out second hand stuff.

Still one of the reasons I have not sold my house and moved is precisely because I have so much accumulated stuff (the residual crap left over from raising a family AND the stuff that my wards left behind when they finally flew the coop) that just sorting it out to give away, sell or trash, is a daunting task.

For about ten years when I was on the road I basically lived out of a seabag.

Now I'd need a full sized moving van to take my possessions with me.

Just my library takes up a couple rooms and I'm not really a collector of books!

Throw in the Rosetta Library and I need a 10 ton truck to move all that.

I'm sort of hoping that a hurricane (but not a flood, cause I don't have flood insurance) blows it all away for me.

Why don't you put up a sign in your yard....FREE STUFF!!!!

Then open your doors and you won't have to worry about all of that shit.

 

[Madeline]

It is a chronic battle, getting rid of stuff. I have this ginormous six shelf bookcase that I expected would do me for the rest of my life -- I had sworn to never again collect books -- and shit is literally falling off the top and the front of the shelves (books line every shelf, though I swear I dun know where they come from).

I have an assistant and I am going to have to dedicate some of that person's time just to getting rid of stuff....and I feel too guilty to throw away clothing or books, so then I have to load them into the car and trot off to the thrift store to donate. None of this is urgent and believe me, on any given day there are more fun things to do. But if I dun beat it back, it grows like some sort of monster.

Part of the problem with this phenom is, I dun know what I have and certainly dun appreciate it. Stuff morphs into clutter and becomes undustable, and I swear it actually causes me physical pain. For sure, pyschic pain.

 

[editec]

I really and seriously try not to collect stuff.

I seldom buy anything and when I do I often seek out second hand stuff.

Still one of the reasons I have not sold my house and moved is precisely because I have so much accumulated stuff (the residual crap left over from raising a family AND the stuff that my wards left behind when they finally flew the coop) that just sorting it out to give away, sell or trash, is a daunting task.

For about ten years when I was on the road I basically lived out of a seabag.

Now I'd need a full sized moving van to take my possessions with me.

Just my library takes up a couple rooms and I'm not really a collector of books!

Throw in the Rosetta Library and I need a 10 ton truck to move all that.

I'm sort of hoping that a hurricane (but not a flood, cause I don't have flood insurance) blows it all away for me.

Why don't you put up a sign in your yard....FREE STUFF!!!!

Then open your doors and you won't have to worry about all of that shit.

Had a yard sale last spring.

If you wanted to buy that coffee cup for 50 cents, you ALSO HAD TO TAKE a complete computer system (that worked just fine).

You'd think that I'd sell a lot of coffee cups, right?

Nope.

People would rather not buy that 50 cent coffee cup than buy it, and also own a complete computer system (software included in the hard drives).

I guess I'm not the only person with too much crap, eh?

 

[antagon]

i'm a transportation-obsessed person. i snatch up stuff to put under the hood, etc. my rims are worth more than the car was when i bought it. i make my living through a bunch of vehicles. i used to like boats more than now, but i dont live on the coast anymore. i dont think that i'll flash on any 6y/os over my vehicles, but i do like them.

 

[chanel]

George Carlin said it best:

That's all I want, that's all you need in life, is a little place for your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody's got a little place for their stuff. This is my stuff, that's your stuff, that'll be his stuff over there. That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That's all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time.

A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you're taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody's got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff. And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you're saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get...more stuff!

Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore

Funny Story number 85

I am a purger. Every June I spend at least two weeks throwing out stuff. No closet, drawer, or cabinet is spared. It makes my husband crazy because he'd love for me to sell it, but I can't be bothered. I'll ask a few people if they are interested in a salad spinner or a hand held blender, and if not, it goes to the dump.

When I get dressed in the morning, if I don't care for an article of clothing, I put it in a bag for goodwill. If I don't like it today, chances are I won't like it next time either.

Purging can be very cleansing.

 

[zzzz]

It is a chronic battle, getting rid of stuff. I have this ginormous six shelf bookcase that I expected would do me for the rest of my life -- I had sworn to never again collect books -- and shit is literally falling off the top and the front of the shelves (books line every shelf, though I swear I dun know where they come from).

I have an assistant and I am going to have to dedicate some of that person's time just to getting rid of stuff....and I feel too guilty to throw away clothing or books, so then I have to load them into the car and trot off to the thrift store to donate. None of this is urgent and believe me, on any given day there are more fun things to do. But if I dun beat it back, it grows like some sort of monster.

Part of the problem with this phenom is, I dun know what I have and certainly dun appreciate it. Stuff morphs into clutter and becomes undustable, and I swear it actually causes me physical pain. For sure, pyschic pain.

The battle is not getting stuff you don't need. How many times did you buy something and only used it once or twice, or clothes you bought and wore one time and never again. The time to control your hoarding is when you decide you want something. You need to think twice and if there is doubt don't do it.

For the stuff you already have, make a start and get rid of the stuff. Sure you can try to sell it but this is the beginning of the holiday season so why not give it away. Books can go to libraries who always looking for books, even DVD's and CD's (no porno please) can go to a library. This way people who cannot afford these things can use them. Clothes and other items, take them to the mission or other places that serve the needy. You will fill a twofold purpose here. Getting rid of your hoard and helping others in need.

The key here is to make a start. You don't have to dump all of it now, just make a start. You will be surprised to learn how easy it is to clear out stuff once you get started. Of course eventually a time will come when you may need what you gave away and wish you hadn't but as a whole it is for the better.

 

[Madeline]

I had a 3 bedroom home with a family room in Florida, and now I have a 2 bedroom condo without a family room, so I have purged, repeatedly. You are 100% correct, zzzz....the best solution is not to drag home this crap in the first place. My libraries sell hardbacks for 50 cents and sometimes I am tempted, as they have some great old books, and I am forever running up my fines, but NO! I haven't got room for the books I own now.

This agonizing over where the stuff goes next is also foolish. I have stuff I think the babygirl may someday want (that's not likely) and stuff I think I really should donate (because I overpaid for it and ergo, I cannot admit my mistake EVA) but in fact if all of it went to the curb, no biggie.

Spending December purging rather than acquiring might could be most liberating. Anyone wanna VCR?