The Tao of Algorianism.

gslack

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2010
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Ok after much hard work and searching, I believe I have found the missing Tao of algorianism... I came across this tome in my travels to Tennessee in an abandoned Occidental Petroleum mine. It was in a glass case with a hammer attached to the base by a chain. An inscription on the glass said "in case of emergency, break glass". I have painstakingly recreated the first section of the tome here.

The Tao of Agorianism.

Today's Algorian must have the following attributes.

1. The cake and eat it too reflex - A warming temperature (or cooling one) is a relevant indicator of climate change. Be it today in Bangkok, or 50 years ago in Phoenix it makes no difference. Weather IS climate... Unless its showing what they don't agree with then its not at all an indicator of climate.

2. The Brightly colored graphs and flashy charts defense mechanism - This must be a highly trained part of any Algorians repertoire. As soon as there is any sign of an alternative scientific study or claim mentioned, a proper Algorian must have the ability to flood a thread with brightly colored graphs and charts or flashy graphics. This will confound the opposition in a sea of meaningless or conflicting data that means nothing, and have the added benefit of hypnotizing the fellow algorian faithful, preventing any subversion or thought processes.

3 The crying about being called names attack - A good algorian must be able utilize a vast library of insults and name calling while ready to counter any returning assault with a quick crying fit over being insulted or called names. An experienced member of the faith will even PM the person or use negrepping and even a mod to further his advantage.

4. The hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil tactic. - At any moment in a debate an Algorian must be ready to play deaf, dumb or blind when cornered or pressed to defend any claims he makes. This will frustrate any real opposition and save face.

5. The I am just a socially conscious citizen counter - If an Algorian is discovered for being a mindless propaganda drone posting drivel, he must be ready to assume the role of a concerned and socially conscious citizen just doing his part to save the planet. This protects the algorian from future problems regarding truth and integrity.

6. The Oil company shill feint. - A quick claim of "you're just an oil company shill" to any attacker will give a chance for the algorian to regroup as well as set the opposition in a position to defend something that is too ignorant for a critical thinking person to deal with.

7. The Al Gore is a sinner or saint double block. - A true Algorian must be ready to shout All Hail The Goracle! or Al Gore is a hypocrite! with equal enthusiasm. This will effectively nullify any negative or positive Al Gore feedback keeping the eyes safe from being blackened or the butt hurt.

8. The I reject your reality and substitute my own stop hit - Any time an opponent brings science into a debate the algorian must stop this with a complete and total shut down of reason followed quickly by a "Cake and eat it too reflex" or number 1 attack.

9. The barking moonbat kick to the groin. - Algorians should be ready to pull off an emotional outburst at any moment in a debate. This can be crying about the poor who are suffering/starving, the polar bears who are dying, the coral reefs bleaching, the sun killing everyone or the oceans rising and sinking florida, or anything that can give the impression of deeper feeling and thoughts of anyone or thing beyond themselves. This will annihilate the opposition in a deluge of tears that will kick in their guilt mechanism rendering him helpless.

10. The Killer instinct. - A faithful Gorophite shall show no mercy in his endless rage against THE MAN and his machinations of doom. Spare no one who is not explicitly of the faith and in good standing. Remember the Goracle does not forgive independents, libertarians, constitutionalists, nor Tea partiers. His wrath does not differentiate the flavors of evil, and only the truly faithful shall be saved.

Wow, this is enlightening... I understand them so much better now...:lol:
 
Algorian. I like it. It's all about faith. Even when your senses and your intellect tells you different you have to have faith in the angry son of a segregationist senator who has no background in science.
 
gslack..........I almost spit my coffee when I read #9.

priceless.........

Cant tell you how many times I get any lefty just storming off saying, "Forget it......I cant even talk to this guy.........".
 
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gslack..........I almost spit my coffee when I read #9.

priceless.........

Cant tell you how many times I get any lefty just storming off saying, "Forget it......I cant even talk to this guy.........".

LOL, bro they can't handle reality when it hits them.
 
roast-turkey-su-600467-l.jpg


Hey, Gslack, Syrenn, could you pass the salt?
 
now i know why this forum feels kind of cramped lately,

the poster with the gargantuan head is back.

Ah yes the troll is here... So what happened to all your rep man? LOL kinda tells the story on you doesn't it..:lol:
 
You forgot #11: Algorians must believe in ManBearPig.
 

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