the state of human misery

[strollingbones]

why do humans feel like they are such bad people? why does each people think they are the only ones who had a bad childhood...a bad marriage...no friends?

you are not unique...get over yourselves....i heard it said once...if everyone in town came to town hall and put their troubles on the table....everyone would leave with their own troubles

maybe that is the long version of "count your blessings"

why do we have this herd mentality....this dont get involved with strangers...you realize strangers are just people you have not met yet...i talk about this in another thread...

i was at grocery...old couples bag handle breaks...shit rolls all over...people just go around them like they arent there....i set my bag down and said to them...it will be alright...(hell when i dont know what to say...i say that oktay) and begin to pick up things....well suddenly herd stops and everyone begins to help...(o and dont think i am so grand, i tend to do this out of guilt....when i was in high school something happened...i should have helped...i didnt know how...so i carry that guilt and tend to be very intrusive now)

but why have we opted to isolate ourselves? why when given the choice of hurting someones feelings are saying something encouraging.....why is it even a choice?

 

[dilloduck]

why do humans feel like they are such bad people? why does each people think they are the only ones who had a bad childhood...a bad marriage...no friends?

you are not unique...get over yourselves....i heard it said once...if everyone in town came to town hall and put their troubles on the table....everyone would leave with their own troubles

maybe that is the long version of "count your blessings"

why do we have this herd mentality....this dont get involved with strangers...you realize strangers are just people you have not met yet...i talk about this in another thread...

i was at grocery...old couples bag handle breaks...shit rolls all over...people just go around them like they arent there....i set my bag down and said to them...it will be alright...(hell when i dont know what to say...i say that oktay) and begin to pick up things....well suddenly herd stops and everyone begins to help...(o and dont think i am so grand, i tend to do this out of guilt....when i was in high school something happened...i should have helped...i didnt know how...so i carry that guilt and tend to be very intrusive now)

but why have we opted to isolate ourselves? why when given the choice of hurting someones feelings are saying something encouraging.....why is it even a choice?

because people are in love with thier ability to assess themselves. Go ahead--try to talk someome out of thinking the way they do about themselves

 

[editec]

Why do people feel sorry for themselves?

Well in some cases isn't it appropriate to lament your miseries?

And the fact that other people share similar miseries isn't exactly a balm to sooth that wounded heart, is it?

I have never understood the adage

"I cried cause I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet"​

What kind of mind finds solace for their miseries, based on the fact that others have it even worse?

Seriously, that makes exactly zero sense to me.

When I find that people have it worse than I do, (and most people do) I take no personal comfort from that.​

 

[random3434]

Some people do the "Woe is Me!" act for attention.

Others carry their burdens silently.

Helping others without thinking about the "Why" of it is just part of your character.

 

[Sarah G]

why do humans feel like they are such bad people? why does each people think they are the only ones who had a bad childhood...a bad marriage...no friends?

you are not unique...get over yourselves....i heard it said once...if everyone in town came to town hall and put their troubles on the table....everyone would leave with their own troubles

maybe that is the long version of "count your blessings"

why do we have this herd mentality....this dont get involved with strangers...you realize strangers are just people you have not met yet...i talk about this in another thread...

i was at grocery...old couples bag handle breaks...shit rolls all over...people just go around them like they arent there....i set my bag down and said to them...it will be alright...(hell when i dont know what to say...i say that oktay) and begin to pick up things....well suddenly herd stops and everyone begins to help...(o and dont think i am so grand, i tend to do this out of guilt....when i was in high school something happened...i should have helped...i didnt know how...so i carry that guilt and tend to be very intrusive now)

but why have we opted to isolate ourselves? why when given the choice of hurting someones feelings are saying something encouraging.....why is it even a choice?

Nice post.

Some problems can really make people helpless if they think about them long enough.

When you stop having the ability to come to the present and get out of that ego world, it takes you over. I read a book by Eckhart Tolle called A New Earth that really changed me.

It isn't psychobabble, just realistic and simple practices to get you out of living in the past and future and enjoying what you have right now.

 

[editec]

Obviously one can become do dishearted that one is parylized.

But I don't think kvetching about one's problems exactly the character flaw that some people think of it.

I'm am far less impressed by the strong silent type who suffers in silence that most people are, I guess.

Now nobody is interested in the egoists who think that their's is the only fate that is less than ideal, of course.

But I try to listen when people offload their burdens on me...up to point of course.

Sometimes I can offer advise that's welcome, but I've noticed that generally men are really seeking advise while women only want somebody to listen.

 

[Said1]

If you can't laugh at your problems, what's the point in living? Nothing is permanent, this too shall pass etc, etc. Of course, some things AREN"T funny, but some things really aren't worth the belly aching.

 

[AllieBaba]

In my experience the people who whine the loudest are the ones who are least likely to accept responsibility for their own actions.

Me, I don't think I'm a bad person, nor do I think I've got it bad. I've had it pretty crappy in the past...but I've seen many, many people who have it much, much worse. So I don't complain (well I do but I don't MEAN it.)

I also get sick of people whining about the state of things, how horrible everything is, how they're always getting screwed. Get a flipping clue and straighten yourself out. You should walk a mile in the shoes of someone who has it REALLY bad some time.

 

[RodISHI]

In my experience the people who whine the loudest are the ones who are least likely to accept responsibility for their own actions.

Me, I don't think I'm a bad person, nor do I think I've got it bad. I've had it pretty crappy in the past...but I've seen many, many people who have it much, much worse. So I don't complain (well I do but I don't MEAN it.)

I also get sick of people whining about the state of things, how horrible everything is, how they're always getting screwed. Get a flipping clue and straighten yourself out. You should walk a mile in the shoes of someone who has it REALLY bad some time.

I think that would go for just about everyone.

Me I am a whiner if you want to call it that. I became a whiner on the days that I was denied justice and I was given no recourse to recover losses from actions against me by others. It pissed me off and I doubt I will get over that. Heck if someone stole your livelyhood, raided your home and threaten you while you asked for the law to be applied you'd be a whiner too.

If you had spent your entire life savings on a project and others destroyed it on purpose I am sure you would not take it lightly.

If you were ever jailed on false charges I doubt you would take it lightly.

If someone attempted to extort you in order to save their own asses for acts that they committed, you would have a hard time being silent about it.

On the other hand I hear people whine about things that I could really care less about. It's all in perspective with what that person has experienced.

Back when the children were boppers son flipped off some older kids. One was whining to me about it. I asked him, "Did it hurt". He just gave me a dumb look.

Teenagers whine because of all sorts of things they think are just terrible. A lot of adults do too.

I know a couple here that whined because the state would not give the guy back his drivers license. After thirteen DUI's did he really expect them too? It pissed them off when they asked for my opinion. So in that the guy would not pay Rodn for some subcontract work he did for him. It cost Rod over five grand. So you do have a point to an extent Allie but which one is a whine and which is a bonafide complaint? The guy spread rumors locally taht Rod did not pay him. Pay him for what? Rod's work and his equipment. I think that is where people will have to take a look at what really matters and what is truth and what is not. Sometimes we are entitled to do a bit of whining. We earned it.