Anchors Dan Rather and Peter Jennings, NPR Reporter
Cokie Roberts, along with a U.S. Marine assigned to
protect them were hiking through the Iraq desert one
day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied
up, led to a village, and brought before the leader.
The leader said, "I am familiar with your western
custom of granting the condemned a last wish; so,
before we kill and dismember you, do you have any last
requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one
last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to
an underling who left and returned with the chili.
Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to
hear the song 'O Canada' one last time." The leader
nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western
world and knew the music. He returned with some
rag-tag musicians and played the anthem. Jennings
sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want
to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene
here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone
will hear it and know that I was on the job till the
end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the
tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She
then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine,
what is your final wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine. "What?" asked
the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No,
I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,"
insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the
open, and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went
sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm
pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader
dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his
knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the
Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were
either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and
Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot
them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"
"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three
assholes call me the aggressor?"
Cokie Roberts, along with a U.S. Marine assigned to
protect them were hiking through the Iraq desert one
day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied
up, led to a village, and brought before the leader.
The leader said, "I am familiar with your western
custom of granting the condemned a last wish; so,
before we kill and dismember you, do you have any last
requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one
last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to
an underling who left and returned with the chili.
Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to
hear the song 'O Canada' one last time." The leader
nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western
world and knew the music. He returned with some
rag-tag musicians and played the anthem. Jennings
sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want
to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene
here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone
will hear it and know that I was on the job till the
end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the
tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She
then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine,
what is your final wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine. "What?" asked
the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No,
I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,"
insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the
open, and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went
sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm
pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader
dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his
knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the
Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were
either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and
Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot
them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"
"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three
assholes call me the aggressor?"
