The Parent Perspective

[Gem]

We just finished up Parent-Teacher Conferences at my school. With that in mind, I have some questions for the parents of school-aged kids on the board.

1) Do you want your son/daughter with you at the conference listening to what their teacher has to say? For the whole meeting? Some of it? None of it? Why?

2) How honest do you want your teacher to be about your son or daughter's bad behavior? Do you take it seriously or do you really feel that the teacher is just whining about common problems?

3) If the teacher mentions a problem - do you address it with your child and try to change it or do you assume is the teacher's problem to deal with?

4) Have you liked your son/daughter's teachers for the most part?

5) Have you believed that your kid's teachers have truly cared about your child and their education?


Because I deal with parents so often as a Special Education teacher, I am very interested in the parent-teacher (or parent-school) relationship...which I often find is a strained relationship for a number of reasons...and I think it might be part of the much larger problem of whats wrong with our public schools.

 

[IanC]

interesting topic.

I have met and conversed with every teacher(subs excluded) my children have had. Having pre-existing relationships with teachers makes it easier to avoid confrontational meetings in the future. I haven't always agreed with their accessment but at least I have been able to improve their understanding of my children and my children's understanding of them.

the bottom line is that both teachers and children take schooling more seriously if the parents are involved.

 

[Terry]

My kids are out of school now but my experience has been both bad and good with Teachers. It all depends on the Teacher. Example:

One parent teacher conference this Teacher told us my kid was ADHD, and she had two couches in her class, told us if our kid acts up they have to call the parents and the parents has to come and sit on the couch. I was blown away with that crap. We had our kid tested and he wasn't ADHD. About a few weeks later my husband and I walked my child to school and was standing outside the classroom waiting for the 1st bell to ring and the teacher to open her door. We were talking with other parents and this Teacher told the exact same thing to them and they had their kids tested too!

It seems this teacher only wanted all kids to be on drugs because she didn't want to cope with 2nd graders!

I had another teacher that was very good and had the student show us around his room, and he showed us all his work. After this the teacher had set up in the other end of the room snacks for the child while the teacher discuss any issues she wanted us to know that was sensitive.

It all depends on the Teacher and Parent actually. I never was that type of parent that thought my little (Johnny) could do no wrong. Some parents are like that.

As a rule of thumb an active parent keeps the teacher on their toes and it helps to attend any PTA or any school meetings. Not a bad idea to speak to other parents too. Parents has more power then they realize.

 

[midcan5]

I'll give you my and my wife's (and other teachers) take on these questions. [Mucho experience, many awards, even national, and students who eventually love her and come back to visit often.]

1. Talking to adults should be between adults. And since we are professionals, please treat us as such, listening to us and not coming full of your own expectations or false information.

2. Completely, recognizing they are children. Again professionals should be listened to and discussion should be civil and reasonable. (Most of the time you only have a teacher for one year unless you are Amish or home schooled.)

3. When our boys were in school we addressed it with them, and asked the teacher for information concerning any issue that wasn't clear.

4. Kinda neutral on this one, our honor student had lots of great teachers and commendations. But this was never an issue even for the son who required a push now and then.

5. Some do some don't, life is life, people are people. Overall though I would have to say positive things.

I taught handicapped kids part time so I have some experience too.

 

[Mr. H.]

We just finished up Parent-Teacher Conferences at my school. With that in mind, I have some questions for the parents of school-aged kids on the board.

1) Do you want your son/daughter with you at the conference listening to what their teacher has to say? For the whole meeting? Some of it? None of it? Why?

2) How honest do you want your teacher to be about your son or daughter's bad behavior? Do you take it seriously or do you really feel that the teacher is just whining about common problems?

3) If the teacher mentions a problem - do you address it with your child and try to change it or do you assume is the teacher's problem to deal with?

4) Have you liked your son/daughter's teachers for the most part?

5) Have you believed that your kid's teachers have truly cared about your child and their education?


Because I deal with parents so often as a Special Education teacher, I am very interested in the parent-teacher (or parent-school) relationship...which I often find is a strained relationship for a number of reasons...and I think it might be part of the much larger problem of whats wrong with our public schools.

We would include the kids in conferences up to about 4th grade. The conversations were usually over their heads until then, and they aren't as self-conscious at an early age. And things get a little more complicated as they get older.

We always wanted to hear the good, bad, and ugly about our kids at school. Sure we took it seriously regarding behavior, but could differentiate between a legitimate concern and a teacher's griping since we know our kids better than they.

We'd address problem issues at home by talking to our kids, reminding them of their responsibilities at school, and encouraging them to try harder and be mindful of others' feelings.

The kids fortunately have most always had good teachers. I mean they're always going to bitch about a few over the years but who doesn't.

You can sense a teacher's dedication to the job and the child. I would always ask the teacher about his/her background- schooling, experience, etc. and walked away comfortable with the quality of care.