The Obituary of Jesus Christ

The Irish Ram

LITTLE GIRL / Ram Tough
Apr 10, 2011
24,331
13,826
1,405
diagonally parked in a parallel universe
We remember the death of Jesus Christ on this Good Friday, April 3, 2015. Jesus Christ, 33, Nazareth died in 0033 on Mount Calvary, also known as Golgotha, the place of the skull.

Betrayed by the apostle Judas, Jesus was crucified by the Romans, by order of the Ruler Pontius Pilate. The causes of death were crucifixion, extreme exhaustion, severe torture, and loss of blood.

Jesus Christ, the Son of God and a descendant of Abraham was a member of the house of David. He was also cared for by the late Joseph, a carpenter of Nazareth and Mary, His devoted Mother. Jesus was born in a stable in the city of Bethelehem, Judea. He is survived by His mother Mary, His faithful Apostles, numerous disciples, and many other followers.

Jesus was educated and spent most of his adult life working as a Teacher. Jesus also occasionally worked as a Medical Doctor and it is reported that he healed many patients. Up until the time of His death, Jesus was teaching and sharing the Good News, healing the sick, touching the lonely, and helping the poor.

Jesus was most noted for telling parables about His Father's Kingdom and performing miracles, such as feeding over 6,000 people with only five loves of bread and two fish, and healing a man who was born blind. On the day before His death, He held a Last Supper celebrating the Passover Feast, at which He foretold His death.

The body was quickly entombed in a crypt, which was donated by Joseph of Arimathea, a loyal friend of the family. By order of Pontius Pilate, a boulder was rolled in front of the tomb. Roman soldiers were put on guard.

In lieu of expressions of sympathy, the family has requested that everyone try to live as Jesus did. Donations may be sent to anyone in need.
 
Thank You, Jesus Christ. King of kings, savior of the world. Gave your life, at a young age, for all of us.

Not everyone is a Christian I know, and not everyone is a believer, as I am. That's OK. Everyone is free to believe as they do. I just had to get in here and say this, that's all.

A great holiday weekend is upon us. I hope everyone takes note of the significance of it.....and if we all lived according to the ideas that Jesus preached, a much better world we would have, wouldn't we ?
 
Thank You, Jesus Christ. King of kings, savior of the world. Gave your life, at a young age, for all of us.

Not everyone is a Christian I know, and not everyone is a believer, as I am. That's OK. Everyone is free to believe as they do. I just had to get in here and say this, that's all.

A great holiday weekend is upon us. I hope everyone takes note of the significance of it.....and if we all lived according to the ideas that Jesus preached, a much better world we would have, wouldn't we ?

Amen.
 
I guess this year Jesus is a time traveler.

Passover is the holiday that Christ showed up in Jerusalem for when they caught Him.

Good Friday is the day that Christ was said to be crucified.

Easter Sunday is the day that Christ rose from the grave.

This year? It's all outta whack. Today is Good Friday, the day He was crucified, tomorrow is Passover, the holiday he went to Jerusalem to observe (wonder if He's gonna show up on the cross), and Sunday is the day that He was resurrected.

So this year, we kill Jesus on Friday, capture Him on Saturday, and He rises again on Sunday.

Hate to tell you Christians, but a lot of the Easter story is based in paganism, and on the wrong calendar, which is why this year Jesus has to be a time traveler.
 
he saved the world? how?....the greatest destruction/rape/murder/robbery/etc came 2000 years after him
 
I guess this year Jesus is a time traveler.

Passover is the holiday that Christ showed up in Jerusalem for when they caught Him.

Good Friday is the day that Christ was said to be crucified.

Easter Sunday is the day that Christ rose from the grave.

This year? It's all outta whack. Today is Good Friday, the day He was crucified, tomorrow is Passover, the holiday he went to Jerusalem to observe (wonder if He's gonna show up on the cross), and Sunday is the day that He was resurrected.

So this year, we kill Jesus on Friday, capture Him on Saturday, and He rises again on Sunday.

Hate to tell you Christians, but a lot of the Easter story is based in paganism, and on the wrong calendar, which is why this year Jesus has to be a time traveler.
You posted this already in another thread, Decided to make the rounds with it. ?

And if you weren't lying about hating to tell us, you wouldn't have.

You may now spend the next 2 weeks in the grease pit, cleaning it with a spoon, Don't forget your gas mask.

PS - TODAY is Passover. Tomorrow is just the end of it. Research before you post.
 
Last edited:
Hate to tell you Christians, but a lot of the Easter story is based in paganism
No. It isn't. That claim has been debunked countless times. Please educate yourself. Your ignorance is offensive.
 
I guess this year Jesus is a time traveler.

Passover is the holiday that Christ showed up in Jerusalem for when they caught Him.

Good Friday is the day that Christ was said to be crucified.

Easter Sunday is the day that Christ rose from the grave.

This year? It's all outta whack. Today is Good Friday, the day He was crucified, tomorrow is Passover, the holiday he went to Jerusalem to observe (wonder if He's gonna show up on the cross), and Sunday is the day that He was resurrected.

So this year, we kill Jesus on Friday, capture Him on Saturday, and He rises again on Sunday.

Hate to tell you Christians, but a lot of the Easter story is based in paganism, and on the wrong calendar, which is why this year Jesus has to be a time traveler.
Which is why the Jesus myth is just that: myth.
 
he saved the world? how?....the greatest destruction/rape/murder/robbery/etc came 2000 years after him

Excellent question.


“But that is not the question. Why are we here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come.”
 
he saved the world? how?....the greatest destruction/rape/murder/robbery/etc came 2000 years after him

Excellent question.


“But that is not the question. Why are we here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come.”
no--the critical question is ''is there a god?''
 
Last edited:
he saved the world? how?....the greatest destruction/rape/murder/robbery/etc came 2000 years after him
The save has to do with HIS world. Not this (devil's) world. You'll find out when you die.
...you--and everybody--cannot even comprehend or even try to know or try to define/explain ''god''/bible/heaven/hell
...you are trying to explain/prove something you can't even begin to comprehend even if it were true
 
he saved the world? how?....the greatest destruction/rape/murder/robbery/etc came 2000 years after him

Excellent question.


“But that is not the question. Why are we here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come.”
no--the critical question is ''is there a go?''


If people don't already know, and if people don't do what is necessary and take steps to find out, what else can they do but sit around arguing amongst themselves and wait ?
 
he saved the world? how?....the greatest destruction/rape/murder/robbery/etc came 2000 years after him
The save has to do with HIS world. Not this (devil's) world. You'll find out when you die.
...you--and everybody--cannot even comprehend or even try to know or try to define/explain ''god''/bible/heaven/hell
...you are trying to explain/prove something you can't even begin to comprehend even if it were true


Hell is not so difficult to figure out as long as you are not in it.

If you fill your mind with irrational garbage, the teachings of unclean creatures that do not ruminate, think deeply, it will defile and contaminate your mind and you will degenerate into an unclean creature that cannot ruminate, think deeply.
 
he saved the world? how?....the greatest destruction/rape/murder/robbery/etc came 2000 years after him
The save has to do with HIS world. Not this (devil's) world. You'll find out when you die.
...you--and everybody--cannot even comprehend or even try to know or try to define/explain ''god''/bible/heaven/hell
...you are trying to explain/prove something you can't even begin to comprehend even if it were true


Hell is not so difficult to figure out as long as you are not in it.
...so god created everything from the beginning--there is no way at all humans can comprehend something like this......it's like trying to comprehend how far a light year is when all we know is the distance of traveling by car
 
he saved the world? how?....the greatest destruction/rape/murder/robbery/etc came 2000 years after him
The save has to do with HIS world. Not this (devil's) world. You'll find out when you die.
...you--and everybody--cannot even comprehend or even try to know or try to define/explain ''god''/bible/heaven/hell
...you are trying to explain/prove something you can't even begin to comprehend even if it were true


Hell is not so difficult to figure out as long as you are not in it.
...so god created everything from the beginning--there is no way at all humans can comprehend something like this......it's like trying to comprehend how far a light year is when all we know is the distance of traveling by car


The story of Genesis is a metaphor. The creation of heaven and earth, a world above and the world below, is not about the creation of the universe, the solar system, or the planet.

The light being spoken into existence is about the law coming into the world from an extraterrestrial source around 6000 years ago as a "light to the nations" on a planet that was without form (lawless) and void, and darkness, (ignorance), covered the face of the deep, (the unknown.) for billions of years"

Whats so hard to comprehend about that?
 
Last edited:
he saved the world? how?....the greatest destruction/rape/murder/robbery/etc came 2000 years after him
The save has to do with HIS world. Not this (devil's) world. You'll find out when you die.
...you--and everybody--cannot even comprehend or even try to know or try to define/explain ''god''/bible/heaven/hell
...you are trying to explain/prove something you can't even begin to comprehend even if it were true


Hell is not so difficult to figure out as long as you are not in it.
...so god created everything from the beginning--there is no way at all humans can comprehend something like this......it's like trying to comprehend how far a light year is when all we know is the distance of traveling by car


The story of Genesis is a metaphor. The creation of heaven and earth, a world above and the world below, is not about the creation of the universe, the solar system, or the planet.

The light being spoken into existence is about the law coming into the world from an extraterrestrial source around 6000 years ago as a "light to the nations" in a world that was without form (lawless) and void, and darkness, (ignorance), covered the face of the deep, (the unknown.) for billions of years"

Whats so hard to comprehend about that?
sure sure--I went to a pre-seminary and was taught all this stuff
you think you can comprehend ''something'' that was here before the universe???!!!no way --don't even try to answer that ..there is no way you can comprehend that
 
The save has to do with HIS world. Not this (devil's) world. You'll find out when you die.
...you--and everybody--cannot even comprehend or even try to know or try to define/explain ''god''/bible/heaven/hell
...you are trying to explain/prove something you can't even begin to comprehend even if it were true


Hell is not so difficult to figure out as long as you are not in it.
...so god created everything from the beginning--there is no way at all humans can comprehend something like this......it's like trying to comprehend how far a light year is when all we know is the distance of traveling by car


The story of Genesis is a metaphor. The creation of heaven and earth, a world above and the world below, is not about the creation of the universe, the solar system, or the planet.

The light being spoken into existence is about the law coming into the world from an extraterrestrial source around 6000 years ago as a "light to the nations" in a world that was without form (lawless) and void, and darkness, (ignorance), covered the face of the deep, (the unknown.) for billions of years"

Whats so hard to comprehend about that?
sure sure--I went to a pre-seminary and was taught all this stuff
you think you can comprehend ''something'' that was here before the universe???!!!no way --don't even try to answer that ..there is no way you can comprehend that


Hello? You never heard anything like this before. If you don't believe me you can look it up, you have the entire internet at your disposal.

The creation of heaven and earth, a world above and the world below, is not about the creation of the universe, the solar system, or the planet.

To know what was going on before the light was spoken into existence and the distinction between heaven and earth was established just look at what was going on 7000, or 10,000 years ago,

It was a jungle out there..

Mystery solved.
 
Last edited:

Forum List

Back
Top