The Jesus Story

The Illusion

Energist
Jul 22, 2009
230
22
16
Hades
in a technologically backwards and heavily superstitious ethnic era and place, a young woman, of 12 or so, was raped by a roman soldier. this was fairly common, should the mood arise, since it was death and mayhem to combat the roman occupiers. that woman, mary, was betrothed to a humble man, who married her anyhow. to this couple a child was born that they named jesus.

being part of small ethnic group and part of a tightly knit social fabric, many knew of the circumstances of the conception of jesus, and as a boy, he was teased unmercifully...bullied even...by the other kids. they weren't allowed to play with the little bastard jesus. in tears, often the bastard jesus would find comfort in his mothers lap as she would hold him and tell him softly that he was a gift from god. lacking peer support, and thus being more mature for his age from associating only with his adult parents and the occassional uncle or aunt, he turned to his "real" father, god, and the scriptures that supposedly talk of his gods wishes.

the young bastard jesus grew and was only to take as associates those other social outcast-prostitutes, fishermen (who stank of fish) tax collectors, the very poor, and the lame and sick. from these associations, his little liberal heart, bullied and harassed simply because the circumstances of his birth, he saw the tyranny of the ruling social structure, and sought to soften the harsh mandates of the jewish tradition, so that the outcasts like himself could feel whole.

coupled with his outrage at how the lower caste of his society was treated was the belief, given him by his mother and no doubt grudgingly re-enforced by his cockholded father, that the bastard jesus was indeed a gift from their god, and armed with these two motivating forces, he sought to change tradition and society.

for this, he was put to death. just as was socrates years prior. two men. and only men.
 
The word is "cuckolded," and Mary more likely committed adultery, but other than that, this account is probably fairly accurate.
 
Welcome to the board. I can scarcely wait for your next pearls of wisdom.

Why wait? Go check the "suicide" thread.

I thought we'd hit our quote of sacred belief bashers. Did someone move on and I didn't get the memo?
 
The word is "cuckolded," and Mary more likely committed adultery, but other than that, this account is probably fairly accurate.

Looking at it from a realists point of view, I would have to say due to the times and customs of that age...that yes, this account is probably fairly accurate.

Knowing that the oldest living bible was just put together for the first time since its separation...and there is no account of a resurrection or other biblical teachings/comings in it....Im willing to bet something like this actually happened rather than the biblical tale of it.

Jamie
 
Not to mention that if Mary HAD committed adultery, she likely would have been stoned. So to cover herself, she probably insisted to Joseph that an angel came down to have God impregnate her. People were so superstitious in those days that such a claim would have been unthinkable to question.
 
I believe the story from Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

I reject the cynicism of our age.
 
Not to mention that if Mary HAD committed adultery, she likely would have been stoned. So to cover herself, she probably insisted to Joseph that an angel came down to have God impregnate her. People were so superstitious in those days that such a claim would have been unthinkable to question.

Exactly. Thank you.
 
in a technologically backwards and heavily superstitious ethnic era and place, a young woman, of 12 or so, was raped by a roman soldier... that woman, mary, was betrothed to a humble man, who married her anyhow. to this couple a child was born that they named jesus.

being part of small ethnic group and part of a tightly knit social fabric, many knew of the circumstances of the conception of jesus, and as a boy, he was teased unmercifully...bullied even...by the other kids. they weren't allowed to play with the little bastard jesus. in tears, often the bastard jesus would find comfort in his mothers lap as she would hold him and tell him softly that he was a gift from god. lacking peer support, and thus being more mature for his age from associating only with his adult parents and the occassional uncle or aunt, he turned to his "real" father, god, and the scriptures that supposedly talk of his gods wishes.
[so on]


Evidence?
 
in a technologically backwards and heavily superstitious ethnic era and place, a young woman, of 12 or so, was raped by a roman soldier... that woman, mary, was betrothed to a humble man, who married her anyhow. to this couple a child was born that they named jesus.

being part of small ethnic group and part of a tightly knit social fabric, many knew of the circumstances of the conception of jesus, and as a boy, he was teased unmercifully...bullied even...by the other kids. they weren't allowed to play with the little bastard jesus. in tears, often the bastard jesus would find comfort in his mothers lap as she would hold him and tell him softly that he was a gift from god. lacking peer support, and thus being more mature for his age from associating only with his adult parents and the occassional uncle or aunt, he turned to his "real" father, god, and the scriptures that supposedly talk of his gods wishes.
[so on]


Evidence?

no evidence.. just like the bible. I suspect if everyone can believe something.. they can at least believe a believable story.

Jamie
 
in a technologically backwards and heavily superstitious ethnic era and place, a young woman, of 12 or so, was raped by a roman soldier... that woman, mary, was betrothed to a humble man, who married her anyhow. to this couple a child was born that they named jesus.

being part of small ethnic group and part of a tightly knit social fabric, many knew of the circumstances of the conception of jesus, and as a boy, he was teased unmercifully...bullied even...by the other kids. they weren't allowed to play with the little bastard jesus. in tears, often the bastard jesus would find comfort in his mothers lap as she would hold him and tell him softly that he was a gift from god. lacking peer support, and thus being more mature for his age from associating only with his adult parents and the occassional uncle or aunt, he turned to his "real" father, god, and the scriptures that supposedly talk of his gods wishes.
[so on]


Evidence?

no evidence..
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP7MyQbYPUA]YouTube - Boxxy- They See Me Trollin' Remix[/ame]

1189960203870cp7.jpg
 
Very intellectual of you. Im glad actions show reputation more than words....your words were at least 1/2 intellectual.

Jamie
 
Of course, one wonders why no major historians noticed Jesus or all the dead people who allegedly rose from the graves,,,
 
I should note that hell is now freezing over. I actually agree with Chris....

However, my reasons for believing rest in my own witness from God and not from the eye witness accounts of others. I would presume that many have had the Spirit speak to them and not realized the real source of their faith.

I understand the lack of belief, but what I will never understand is the decision that you cant learn any more than you already know. As if there is no possibility. You dont even try to look at things from a believers perspective and yet you wonder why you cant concieve of God or Christ. You dont try to accurately learn what He allegedly taught. you just dismiss it as fantastic.

Maybe it's just me, but I dont like discounting any knowledge from anyones perspective. But than I love understanding things. It's just part of my nature.
 

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