The Jesus Story

Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by The Illusion, Jul 31, 2009.

  1. The Illusion
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    The Illusion Energist

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    in a technologically backwards and heavily superstitious ethnic era and place, a young woman, of 12 or so, was raped by a roman soldier. this was fairly common, should the mood arise, since it was death and mayhem to combat the roman occupiers. that woman, mary, was betrothed to a humble man, who married her anyhow. to this couple a child was born that they named jesus.

    being part of small ethnic group and part of a tightly knit social fabric, many knew of the circumstances of the conception of jesus, and as a boy, he was teased unmercifully...bullied even...by the other kids. they weren't allowed to play with the little bastard jesus. in tears, often the bastard jesus would find comfort in his mothers lap as she would hold him and tell him softly that he was a gift from god. lacking peer support, and thus being more mature for his age from associating only with his adult parents and the occassional uncle or aunt, he turned to his "real" father, god, and the scriptures that supposedly talk of his gods wishes.

    the young bastard jesus grew and was only to take as associates those other social outcast-prostitutes, fishermen (who stank of fish) tax collectors, the very poor, and the lame and sick. from these associations, his little liberal heart, bullied and harassed simply because the circumstances of his birth, he saw the tyranny of the ruling social structure, and sought to soften the harsh mandates of the jewish tradition, so that the outcasts like himself could feel whole.

    coupled with his outrage at how the lower caste of his society was treated was the belief, given him by his mother and no doubt grudgingly re-enforced by his cockholded father, that the bastard jesus was indeed a gift from their god, and armed with these two motivating forces, he sought to change tradition and society.

    for this, he was put to death. just as was socrates years prior. two men. and only men.
     
  2. tigerbob
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    tigerbob Increasingly jaded.

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    Welcome to the board. I can scarcely wait for your next pearls of wisdom.
     
  3. Centrism'sVoice
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    Centrism'sVoice Seceded from USMB

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    The word is "cuckolded," and Mary more likely committed adultery, but other than that, this account is probably fairly accurate.
     
  4. Amanda
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    Amanda Calm as a Hindu cow

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    Why wait? Go check the "suicide" thread.

    I thought we'd hit our quote of sacred belief bashers. Did someone move on and I didn't get the memo?
     
  5. The Illusion
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    The Illusion Energist

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    Looking at it from a realists point of view, I would have to say due to the times and customs of that age...that yes, this account is probably fairly accurate.

    Knowing that the oldest living bible was just put together for the first time since its separation...and there is no account of a resurrection or other biblical teachings/comings in it....Im willing to bet something like this actually happened rather than the biblical tale of it.

    Jamie
     
  6. Centrism'sVoice
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    Centrism'sVoice Seceded from USMB

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    Not to mention that if Mary HAD committed adultery, she likely would have been stoned. So to cover herself, she probably insisted to Joseph that an angel came down to have God impregnate her. People were so superstitious in those days that such a claim would have been unthinkable to question.
     
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  7. Chris
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    Chris Gold Member

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    I believe the story from Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

    I reject the cynicism of our age.
     
  8. The Illusion
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    The Illusion Energist

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    Exactly. Thank you.
     
  9. Amanda
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    Amanda Calm as a Hindu cow

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    I've committed adultery and I can tell you, you don't have to be stoned, but it makes it more fun if you are. :lol:
     
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  10. The Illusion
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    The Illusion Energist

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    Stoned as in...rocks thrown at you till you die.

    Jamie
     

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