- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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Is there an intrinsic connection between federalism and profiteerism intrigue?
That's the question the Trump Administration will be expected to answer (if he wants to be compared more to Alexander Hamilton or FDR and less to Yellowbeard or David Duke!).
In all seriousness, I'm just plain optimistic to look for pro-TrumpUSA storytelling rather than indulging in capitalism-cynicism self-defeat, which is why I penned this sarcastic culture-relevant short-story, inspired by a film I really like (which was recently remade).
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Samuels was an accomplished bank robber, and his team of skilled 'modern bandits' known as the Presidents successfully looted over $15 million across 6 banks in 4 different U.S. states in the span of over just 2 years! Samuels and his Presidents were 'infamous' in the media, but one curious investigative journalist named Thomas Mast suspected there was more to this troop of new age "Newton Boys" than people realized. Mast was working as a writer for the New Yorker and began drawing up a series of comic book stylized political cartoons and short-stories hinting at the conspiracy-theory notion that Samuels and the Presidents were secretly 'employed' by the U.S. government!
When President Donald Trump read Mast's political cartoons, he became enraged. "I was the respectable owner of the Trump Taj Mahal casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey! What kind of a patriot would suspect that I would be part of a presidential administration responsible for 'employing' bandit-esque bank robbers?" Trump's PR managers had him issue a special statement in the press: "I know my critics have been calling me a 'token capitalist President' and that I have all kinds of 'profiteerism-based' 'strange-bedfellows,' but I assure you that this bank robbing gang (aka, 'The Presidents') are in no way connected to anyone in Washington!" Samuels and the Presidents wore masks of ex-Presidents (e.g., Nixon, Clinton, Reagan, Truman, etc.) to mimic the bank robbing 'troop' in the fictional film Point Break (starring Patrick Swayze).
Fans of Mast's cartoons suggested that President Trump would want to 'employ' bank robbers mimicking the scenes from Point Break, since the robbers in the film wore masks of ex-Presidents and also because the anti-federalism sentimentalism-oriented media hype generated by the feats of Samuels' bank-robbing crew would give President Trump some much-needed 'cultural advertising.' After all, Trump could say things in the press, such as, "America is the land of the opportunist and if anything this bank-robbing team known as the Presidents have shown us that all kinds of Americans are naturally fascinated and excited about capital, capitalism, and profitability in traffic!"
Mast started worrying that his political cartoons were having the opposite effect of what he desired. Mast worried that people would 'deify' Samuels and his Presidents gang, since there was now much social chatter about how bank-robbery was a convenient 'political cartoon' brushstroke for critics of general federalism, centralized governance, and the banking system in general. To counter this danger, Mast started writing political cartoons suggesting that Samuels and the Presidents were perhaps not hired directly by the U.S. government (or by the Trump Administration) but were rather creating 'culture media stunts' designed perhaps to draw attention to America's appreciation of the banking complexity legacy of its first real treasurer, Alexander Hamilton. Meanwhile, Hollywood was making a film about bank-robbers who wore Hamilton masks!
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Point Break (Film)
That's the question the Trump Administration will be expected to answer (if he wants to be compared more to Alexander Hamilton or FDR and less to Yellowbeard or David Duke!).
In all seriousness, I'm just plain optimistic to look for pro-TrumpUSA storytelling rather than indulging in capitalism-cynicism self-defeat, which is why I penned this sarcastic culture-relevant short-story, inspired by a film I really like (which was recently remade).
====
Samuels was an accomplished bank robber, and his team of skilled 'modern bandits' known as the Presidents successfully looted over $15 million across 6 banks in 4 different U.S. states in the span of over just 2 years! Samuels and his Presidents were 'infamous' in the media, but one curious investigative journalist named Thomas Mast suspected there was more to this troop of new age "Newton Boys" than people realized. Mast was working as a writer for the New Yorker and began drawing up a series of comic book stylized political cartoons and short-stories hinting at the conspiracy-theory notion that Samuels and the Presidents were secretly 'employed' by the U.S. government!
When President Donald Trump read Mast's political cartoons, he became enraged. "I was the respectable owner of the Trump Taj Mahal casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey! What kind of a patriot would suspect that I would be part of a presidential administration responsible for 'employing' bandit-esque bank robbers?" Trump's PR managers had him issue a special statement in the press: "I know my critics have been calling me a 'token capitalist President' and that I have all kinds of 'profiteerism-based' 'strange-bedfellows,' but I assure you that this bank robbing gang (aka, 'The Presidents') are in no way connected to anyone in Washington!" Samuels and the Presidents wore masks of ex-Presidents (e.g., Nixon, Clinton, Reagan, Truman, etc.) to mimic the bank robbing 'troop' in the fictional film Point Break (starring Patrick Swayze).
Fans of Mast's cartoons suggested that President Trump would want to 'employ' bank robbers mimicking the scenes from Point Break, since the robbers in the film wore masks of ex-Presidents and also because the anti-federalism sentimentalism-oriented media hype generated by the feats of Samuels' bank-robbing crew would give President Trump some much-needed 'cultural advertising.' After all, Trump could say things in the press, such as, "America is the land of the opportunist and if anything this bank-robbing team known as the Presidents have shown us that all kinds of Americans are naturally fascinated and excited about capital, capitalism, and profitability in traffic!"
Mast started worrying that his political cartoons were having the opposite effect of what he desired. Mast worried that people would 'deify' Samuels and his Presidents gang, since there was now much social chatter about how bank-robbery was a convenient 'political cartoon' brushstroke for critics of general federalism, centralized governance, and the banking system in general. To counter this danger, Mast started writing political cartoons suggesting that Samuels and the Presidents were perhaps not hired directly by the U.S. government (or by the Trump Administration) but were rather creating 'culture media stunts' designed perhaps to draw attention to America's appreciation of the banking complexity legacy of its first real treasurer, Alexander Hamilton. Meanwhile, Hollywood was making a film about bank-robbers who wore Hamilton masks!
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Point Break (Film)
