The Gals Declare War

[dilloduck]

I volunteer to be a hostage in the WAR of the SEXES.

Admittedly, it's a tough billet, but somebody's got to take it

Such bravery shall not go unnoticed.


Award this man the bronze penis at once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a hostage he may need one.

 

[JW Frogen]

We can only award you a Congressional Medal of Horny if you die in orgasim.

 

[strollingbones]

hey lumpy....


you get the 'biggest twat on usmb' award

stop making a fool of yourself....now you are the victim?

 

[JW Frogen]

Ms. Strolling I had a cougar dream about you last night.

My ass is like hamburger helper.

And you know you loved grounding that chuck with your cougar claws.

 

[strollingbones]

Ms. Strolling I had a cougar dream about you last night.

My ass is like hamburger helper.

And you know you loved grounding that chuck with your cougar claws.

honey hush, you aint that much younger than me....less than 10 years does not a toy boy make....

and i never do hamburger helper....

 

[Sherry]

I volunteer to be a hostage in the WAR of the SEXES.

Admittedly, it's a tough billet, but somebody's got to take it

Such bravery shall not go unnoticed.


Award this man the bronze penis at once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dilloduck]

is that blue rust ?

 

[JW Frogen]

Ms. Strolling I had a cougar dream about you last night.

My ass is like hamburger helper.

And you know you loved grounding that chuck with your cougar claws.

honey hush, you aint that much younger than me....less than 10 years does not a toy boy make....

and i never do hamburger helper....

I am the biggest boy that toys and you know you want me to help your hamburger.

 

[JW Frogen]

For valor above and beyond and up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[strollingbones]

geeze sherry dont encourage them....i assure you..they dont need it

 

[Sherry]

is that blue rust ?

Looks like mold.

 

[JW Frogen]

geeze sherry dont encourage them....i assure you..they dont need it

We may not need it, but we want it.

And you need it, even if you think you do not want it.

And so it goes...........

 

[Sherry]

geeze sherry dont encourage them....i assure you..they dont need it

I can't help myself.

 

[Mr.Fitnah]

How not to step in dogshit image by madamkelly on Photobucket

 

[Lumpy 1]

hey lumpy....


you get the 'biggest twat on usmb' award

stop making a fool of yourself....now you are the victim?

Wow .. that's quite a reaction..

Lessoned learned.. never assume others will understand that your kidding, it leaves it open to interpretation and hard feelings.

Should I PM you or are we past that point.. Lady Strollingbones?

 

[Foxfyre]

I volunteer to be a hostage in the WAR of the SEXES.

Admittedly, it's a tough billet, but somebody's got to take it

Okay here ya go:

THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES

Six married men
will be dropped on an island with one car and
3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.

In addition, each man
will have to budget in money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave theirlegs,

wear makeup daily,

adorn themselves with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,

and eyebrows groomed.


During one of the six weeks,

the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, head aches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings and
church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids
each night and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:00 am.

A test
will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be
required to know all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.


The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...
he still has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

 

[Ringel05]

I volunteer to be a hostage in the WAR of the SEXES.

Admittedly, it's a tough billet, but somebody's got to take it

Okay here ya go:

THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES

Six married men
will be dropped on an island with one car and
3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.

In addition, each man
will have to budget in money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave theirlegs,

wear makeup daily,

adorn themselves with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,

and eyebrows groomed.


During one of the six weeks,

the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, head aches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings and
church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids
each night and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:00 am.

A test
will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be
required to know all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.


The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...
he still has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

Sexist pig!

 

[Lumpy 1]

hey lumpy....


you get the 'biggest twat on usmb' award

stop making a fool of yourself....now you are the victim?

I have never been called that before..

I'm I pretty..?

 

[Douger]

Since I'm a PC kinda guy, I refer to them as not particularly pleasant to view; pelvic orifices.