The Education of Jared Kuchner - Lock Him Up

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by bendog, Jul 13, 2017.

  1. bendog

    bendog Gold Member

    Mar 4, 2013
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    Dog House in back yard
    While seated at a table in the common area of Pound you in the Ass Federal Prison....

    "Mr. Chapo, my dad told me prison wasn’t so bad if I had a friend."

    "Amigo es bueno."

    Would you be my friend?

    "El Chapo’s amigos tener riqueza fabulosa."

    "I’m still rich. I have lots of property in New York."


    "No. The lawyers took most of that, and Ivanka needs the rest for the children’s private school tuition."

    "Tu comenzó a hacer su fortuna en los bienes raíces?"

    "Oh yes, my father held nearly ten thousand slums, and I added some of my own."

    "la pocilga?"

    "Well, they’re not all Trump Towers ... I mean not everyone can be a billionaire."

    "Si." El Chapo, turns and speaks to a man with a knife scar on the left side of his face, "El asesino con la navaja donde es Hector?"

    "I la voluntad traer el, Padron." The man stands and goes to an adjacent table and speaks quietly to another man.

    "That’s a scary scar that guy has, El Chapo. I’m glad he’s your friend."

    "Socio comercial"

    "Oh yes, I know about those."

    El Chapo looks at Jared with a raised eyebrow. A very tall, rangy hispanic man with yuuuuge fists approaches El Chapo’s table. He looks at the floor, not meeting El Chapo’s gaze. "Padron?

    "Jared quiere el amigo."

    The man looks astonished. "Me, Padron?"

    "Si Hector, tu." El Chapo smiles.

    "Gracias Padron. I la voluntad hacer cualquier casa para usted."

    El Chapo speaks in English, "I only wish you to take very good care of my friend Jared. You understand?"

    Looking directly at Jared with wide eyes and a beaming grin, "Oh Si Padron. No un mas la voluntad tocar Jared, Padron."

    "Jared, Hector will be your friend during your stay here. He will keep you very safe from the other guests."

    "He’s certainly an imposing looking fellow, El Chapo. And that looks like an enormous shank in his pocket."

    El Chapo smiles at Jared. "That is not a shank Jared. And you must remember to do what Hector tells you to do at all times. For, he has a very violent disposition."

    "Oh," says Jared in a squeeky voice.

    Hector smile shows a dribble of saliva running down his left cheek.
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 3

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