The Difference Between a Conservative and a Liberal:

Discussion in 'Humor' started by American Horse, Oct 4, 2009.

  1. American Horse
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    American Horse AKA "Mustang"

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    • If a conservative doesn't like guns, they don't buy one
    • If a liberal doesn't like guns, then no one should have one.

    • If a conservative is a vegetarian, they don't eat meat.
    • If a liberal is, they want to ban all meat products for everyone.

    • If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
    • A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

    • If a conservative is homosexual, they quietly enjoy their life.
    • If a liberal is homosexual, they loudly demand legislated respect.

    • If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, they see themselves as
    independently successful.
    • Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

    • If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
    situation.
    • A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

    • If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
    • Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

    • If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
    • A liberal wants any mention of God or religion silenced.

    • If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
    • A liberal demands that his neighbors pay for his.
    .
     
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  2. Si modo
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    Si modo Diamond Member

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    Truth.
     
  3. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    More flaming nonsense.


    You're not describing liberals here, you're descibing liberal assholes.

    Liberals certainly have our share of those, to be sure

    But then too, so does the conservtive movement.

    Something your little flame seems to have overlooked.
     
  4. American Horse
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    American Horse AKA "Mustang"

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    Gosh Ed, you're the last person I'd have thought would take this little blurb so personally.
    My, my; no offense intended! :eek:
    But I do agree with your second comment: I was actually describing liberal assholes, not good solid liberals like you, and the other reasonable libs we find here at USMB.
     
  5. BasicGreatGuy
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    BasicGreatGuy Aut libertas aut mors

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    The majority of people on this board embrace ideology that is born from Classical Liberalism. It is the degree of said liberalism, that is the distinguishing factor.
     
  6. Si modo
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    Si modo Diamond Member

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    I am definitely classically liberal and that has little in common with the bleeding heart liberal, which is probably more of a distinction for the OP humor.\

    Liberal and conservative are terms that are messed up in the USA. The colloquial usage has no meaning any longer. To me, a 'lib' is synonymous with a bleeding heart/pro-nanny state person.
     
  7. JakeStarkey
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    JakeStarkey Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    The anti-government libertarians here are not classic liberals. Read Locke, Rosseau, Madison, Jay, and Hamilton, and one will quickly realize that they are not "natural rights" believers in "republicanism".
     
  8. Si modo
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    Si modo Diamond Member

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    Who said they were?

    Oh, that's right - only YOU said they were. :rolleyes:

    Reading is fundamental.
     
  9. KittenKoder
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    KittenKoder Senior Member

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    Well ... this is separating the left "wingnuts" from the rest of us liberalish people.

    Ed, grow a fucking funny bone, mmmkay?
     
  10. rdean
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    rdean rddean

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    The difference between a conservative and a liberal:

    The liberal believes in diplomacy
    The conservative believes in invasion

    The liberal believes in human rights
    The conservatives don't

    The liberals believe in fair play
    The conservative will lie

    The liberals believe in an honest days pay for an honest days work
    The conservatives believe they only rich people know how to spend money sensibly

    The liberals believe in American taking care of Americans
    The conservative believes in only taking care of yourself

    The liberal believes in respecting the fairly elected President of the United States
    The conservative suggest that we need a military coup

    The liberal believes that all American should have equal rights
    The conservatives believe some Americans are "more" equal than others

    The liberal believes in supporting our troops
    The Conservatives sees them as pawns to be used to invade other countries

    The liberal believes in compensating our troops according to their service.
    The conservative wants to cut their benefits and benefits for their families

    The liberals support the people of Iran who want religion out of government
    The conservatives unknowingly admire the government of Iran and want more religious in ours

    The Liberals want to build up our nations infrastructure
    The conservatives consider that a waste of money

    The liberals believe that education is important to our nations future
    The conservatives want to teach mysticism and the occult in place of science

    The liberals know we have to rely on ourselves to keep our country strong and safe
    The conservatives, for some unknown reason, believe there is a "God" on our side


    Don't forget these differences. I will add more later. A conservative, if they are honest, will look at this list and say, "Finally, someone understands the conservative point of view".
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2009

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