I will demand sex with my wife anytime she wants it! I will demand for my wife to take out the trash, before I take it out myself! I will stay out as long as I want to, then prepare to sleep on the couch! I will sit back on saturdays, with my beer, and watch college football... While my wife is in the bathroom; once she returns, I'll turn it back to Lifetime! I will not let her talk down to me in front of my male friends; however, I will ask one of my male friends to allow me to sleep at their house for the night! I will not get up in the middle of the night, to take care of the crying baby, for seven straight days! I will not fix anything around the house while she's looking. Instead, I will pay my friends with beer, then take credit for their work! I will not buy a dog for my wife that is bigger than a mouse! I will lie and tell my friends that the purpose of the mini-van was to take my son's entire football team to practice! If a seven foot tall, 300 pound bodybuilder was hitting on my wife, I will ask him to step outside and tell my wife to stay inside. From there, I shall beg for my life and offer him money to leave before she demands me to fight and die for her honor! Finally, I must remember the three phrases that will always keep my marriage in tact... 1. You're right! 2. I'm wrong! 3. I'm sorry!