"The crack in my crack ain't mine"

[chanel]

A Florida man arrested Wednesday on drug charges told cops that a bag of cocaine found hidden inside his buttocks did not belong to him. Though the suspect did cop to ownership of a bag of marijuana hidden alongside the coke.

During the search, when Deputy Sean Cappiello "felt a soft object in the crack of his buttocks," the suspect "began to tense up." Roberts volunteered to remove the item. “Let me get it, hold on” he said, and proceeded to place a "clear plastic baggie with a green leafy substance" on the car's hood. A subsequent test showed the substance to be marijuana, 4.5 grams worth, according to an amusing sheriff’s report. Or click here for an easy-to-read PDF of the document.

"I then asked him if that was it," wrote Cappiello, "and he stated 'yes.'"

But, as the deputy reported, "I then searched his shorts again and felt another object that was in the crack of his buttocks. I pulled the object out from the exterior of his shorts and a clear plastic baggie with a white rock substance fell to the ground." This plastic bag, a test would later determine, contained 27 pieces of crack cocaine.

Roberts quickly disavowed ownership of the cocaine. “The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is,” he claimed

Suspect Denies Owning Cocaine In His Butt | The Smoking Gun

Sounds like this fella is aware of the difference in penalties. He's probably a law student.

 

[California Girl]

What an asshole.

 

[Lumpy 1]

...that was a fun read....

 

[chanel]

 

[Mr.Fitnah]

What, is he renting space in the crack of his ass?

 

[chanel]

Yes - it wasn't technically "his" asshole. He had rented it to a friend.

 

[Conspiracist]

I gotta start putting a sign on my ass: "Not for rent or loan"

 

[mal]

A Florida man arrested Wednesday on drug charges told cops that a bag of cocaine found hidden inside his buttocks did not belong to him. Though the suspect did cop to ownership of a bag of marijuana hidden alongside the coke.

During the search, when Deputy Sean Cappiello "felt a soft object in the crack of his buttocks," the suspect "began to tense up." Roberts volunteered to remove the item. “Let me get it, hold on” he said, and proceeded to place a "clear plastic baggie with a green leafy substance" on the car's hood. A subsequent test showed the substance to be marijuana, 4.5 grams worth, according to an amusing sheriff’s report. Or click here for an easy-to-read PDF of the document.

"I then asked him if that was it," wrote Cappiello, "and he stated 'yes.'"

But, as the deputy reported, "I then searched his shorts again and felt another object that was in the crack of his buttocks. I pulled the object out from the exterior of his shorts and a clear plastic baggie with a white rock substance fell to the ground." This plastic bag, a test would later determine, contained 27 pieces of crack cocaine.

Roberts quickly disavowed ownership of the cocaine. “The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is,” he claimed

Suspect Denies Owning Cocaine In His Butt | The Smoking Gun

Sounds like this fella is aware of the difference in penalties. He's probably a law student.

What a Shitty job...



peace...

 

[strollingbones]

well rats i didnt see this thread and used the same story as an example of chutzpah...my bad...sorry chanel