- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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Here's a fun capitalism-consumerism 'omen tale' inspired by the traffic-paranoia films American Made and Air America.
Enjoy!
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Elsa was a stewardess for Pan Am dissatisfied with the capitalism-governance globalization 'etiquette' endorsed by culture-barons such as Donald Trump, Steven Spielberg, Bill Gates, and George Bush. Elsa was good friends (and a 'god-sister') of Donald Trump's daughter with whom she conversed a great deal. Elsa had become involved in a marijuana-trafficking scheme between Amsterdam and San Francisco using her airline as a cover for operations management (and multiple Pan Am pilots were involved too).
Elsa's drug-activities were meant to promote the legalization of marijuana in North America and Europe and use the regulation of narcotics as a way to reach the pedestrian masses through means other than politics and propaganda, and she was really devoted to her newfound 'cause' and even intimated to her friends of her special political 'passions.' However, when Elsa met a strange 'capitalism-detective' on a certain Pan Am passenger flight between San Francisco and Amsterdam, everything changed.
The detective Elsa met was named Ethan, and he was on the trail of a hypothetical 'apocalyptic manslayer' whom Ethan believed would 'copycat' the American horror film-ghoul Leatherface (the fictional chainsaw-wielding cannibal from the iconic Texas Chainsaw Massacre film franchise). Ethan explained that emotionally susceptible individuals critical of this new age of consumerism-explosion would exploit the fact that convenience-shopping (e.g., hardware stores) would inspire a psycho to use everyday household goods and tools (e.g., chainsaws, hammers) to become 'messengers of malice.'
Elsa was fascinated by Ethan but was concerned that Ethan's staunch 'capitalism-detective-work' would draw him dangerously close to her narcotics politicking activities with Pan Am. Elsa came up with a terrible and dark plan. When she stopped over in Amsterdam on her next trip, she would sleep with a man there and convince him that it would be 'clever' to copycat Leatherface in these modern times when consumerism made everyone 'numb' to political intelligence (just as Ethan postulated!). Elsa did so, and the man she 'cajoled' ended up going on a horrifying murder spree --- killing 20 cops in all in Amsterdam (using a sledgehammer) and wearing an eerie costume of a deranged 'chef.'
When Ethan was on the hunt for this 'sledgehammer psycho,' she confided in Elsa that he was terrified that this serial cop-killer was exactly the apocalypto 'bad-guy' Ethan had been foreboding about and was now very scared to stalk. Elsa was stunned and realized that she herself had given birth to the 'Biblical manslayer' her now-boyfriend Ethan was meditating about! Elsa did not know what to do and did not want to make contact with the sledgehammer psycho she 'inspired' in the first place. She decided to commit suicide and left a note for Ethan to find:
"Ethan, it was me! I inspired the sledgehammer psycho, because I was scared you were going to find out about my Pan Am narcotics-ring which was initially a purely political 'mission.' You were too clever and perceptive about modern-day capitalism/consumerism frailties/gluttonies, so I thought if I tricked a gullible Dutchman to do just as you predicted, you would chase him and go farther and farther away from my own airline-narcotics operation. I realize now Ethan that if this sledgehammer-psycho is indeed the 'Biblical manslayer' you prophesied about, then I'm like the prophetic harlot of Babylon who is unfortunately at the wrong place at the wrong time. So I hope this suicide-note will motivate you to continue your detective-work in proper fashion. I left some information regarding the narcotics politics corruption with my god-sister, the daughter of Donald Trump (the American casino-owner and capitalism-baron whom I've been informed has intentions to one day run for President). Good luck, my love, and keep faith in globalization 'policework'."
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Enjoy!
====
Elsa was a stewardess for Pan Am dissatisfied with the capitalism-governance globalization 'etiquette' endorsed by culture-barons such as Donald Trump, Steven Spielberg, Bill Gates, and George Bush. Elsa was good friends (and a 'god-sister') of Donald Trump's daughter with whom she conversed a great deal. Elsa had become involved in a marijuana-trafficking scheme between Amsterdam and San Francisco using her airline as a cover for operations management (and multiple Pan Am pilots were involved too).
Elsa's drug-activities were meant to promote the legalization of marijuana in North America and Europe and use the regulation of narcotics as a way to reach the pedestrian masses through means other than politics and propaganda, and she was really devoted to her newfound 'cause' and even intimated to her friends of her special political 'passions.' However, when Elsa met a strange 'capitalism-detective' on a certain Pan Am passenger flight between San Francisco and Amsterdam, everything changed.
The detective Elsa met was named Ethan, and he was on the trail of a hypothetical 'apocalyptic manslayer' whom Ethan believed would 'copycat' the American horror film-ghoul Leatherface (the fictional chainsaw-wielding cannibal from the iconic Texas Chainsaw Massacre film franchise). Ethan explained that emotionally susceptible individuals critical of this new age of consumerism-explosion would exploit the fact that convenience-shopping (e.g., hardware stores) would inspire a psycho to use everyday household goods and tools (e.g., chainsaws, hammers) to become 'messengers of malice.'
Elsa was fascinated by Ethan but was concerned that Ethan's staunch 'capitalism-detective-work' would draw him dangerously close to her narcotics politicking activities with Pan Am. Elsa came up with a terrible and dark plan. When she stopped over in Amsterdam on her next trip, she would sleep with a man there and convince him that it would be 'clever' to copycat Leatherface in these modern times when consumerism made everyone 'numb' to political intelligence (just as Ethan postulated!). Elsa did so, and the man she 'cajoled' ended up going on a horrifying murder spree --- killing 20 cops in all in Amsterdam (using a sledgehammer) and wearing an eerie costume of a deranged 'chef.'
When Ethan was on the hunt for this 'sledgehammer psycho,' she confided in Elsa that he was terrified that this serial cop-killer was exactly the apocalypto 'bad-guy' Ethan had been foreboding about and was now very scared to stalk. Elsa was stunned and realized that she herself had given birth to the 'Biblical manslayer' her now-boyfriend Ethan was meditating about! Elsa did not know what to do and did not want to make contact with the sledgehammer psycho she 'inspired' in the first place. She decided to commit suicide and left a note for Ethan to find:
"Ethan, it was me! I inspired the sledgehammer psycho, because I was scared you were going to find out about my Pan Am narcotics-ring which was initially a purely political 'mission.' You were too clever and perceptive about modern-day capitalism/consumerism frailties/gluttonies, so I thought if I tricked a gullible Dutchman to do just as you predicted, you would chase him and go farther and farther away from my own airline-narcotics operation. I realize now Ethan that if this sledgehammer-psycho is indeed the 'Biblical manslayer' you prophesied about, then I'm like the prophetic harlot of Babylon who is unfortunately at the wrong place at the wrong time. So I hope this suicide-note will motivate you to continue your detective-work in proper fashion. I left some information regarding the narcotics politics corruption with my god-sister, the daughter of Donald Trump (the American casino-owner and capitalism-baron whom I've been informed has intentions to one day run for President). Good luck, my love, and keep faith in globalization 'policework'."
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