- Sep 22, 2013
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This is a commerce-Utopian (gender-oriented) parable inspired by the labor-ritual film She-Devil.
Cheers,
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Arian was a powerful Eastern warrior who wielded a curved sword which he carried with great confidence. Arian wore a fancy robe and garb to signify his meditation on the potency and magic of warfare itself. Arian's son Damien was prophesied to one day become a great warrior and king, and Arian hoped Damien would also someday find a trusted-friend who would become his valuable war-ally. Arian focused his attention on a modern problem regarding the mass marketing of hardware tools across stores across consumerism-heavy America. Arian looked at the popularity of the Home Depot hardware stores and contemplated about how easy it was for any American consumer to purchase a dangerous tool such as a chainsaw or sledgehammer for 'personal use.'
As Arian studied these things, he had no conception about how correct he truly was (regarding the vulnerabilities of consumerism and the nearly-ominous accessibility of dangerous items in market-stores and online such as chainsaws and hand-guns. Who would regulate such mass shopping? These troubling times raised from the abyss of darkness two eerie demons known as Hobgoblin and Gray Goblin. Hobgoblin was an orange-garb wearing jet-glider soaring terror-artist who wielded pumpkin-bombs. Hobgoblin's message was one of anarchy and faithlessness, and he was obviously a symbol of modernism gluttony, and Arian wondered what Hobgoblin would do to exploit America's neglectful attitude towards the unsupervised sales of deadly tools and weapons such as chainsaws and hand-guns.
The Gray Goblin was just as ominous. The Gray Goblin was a gray-colored creature who also soared on a jet-glider and wielded pumpkin-bombs. However, while Hobgoblin represented pure anarchy, Gray Goblin represented brutish heresy and perdition. Gray Goblin's message was one of capitalism profiteerism and piracy, and Arian wondered if Gray Goblin would exploit America's blithely-complacent attitude towards the unsupervised distribution of deadly items such as chainsaws and hand-guns. Gray Goblin put a hex on American toy stores, so kids purchasing toy water-pistols during the hot summer months would brood about their parents abusing the conveniences of consumerism when they purchased deadly items such as chainsaws and hand-guns. Arian had to do something...
Arian decided to meditate on the distribution of kitchen-hardware only, since kitchen-tools while potentially deadly were perfect consumerism symbols of peace, homeliness, and labor optimism. Arian looked at the Keurig coffee-maker, the Ninja blender, and the Indian boti. Arian was particularly interested in the Indian boti (a basic blade-and-board kitchen-tool used for cutting foods on the floor with hand-and-foot), which was very popular among women in India laboring in the kitchen. However, Arian learned that the boti was quite deadly and if not used with great care, it could lead to terrible accidents, and indeed, many women in India laboring with the boti in the kitchen preparing meals for their families complained that the boti was very deadly and caused everyday cuts on hands and feet while using the item! Arian recognized that the boti was a 'commercial trophy' and could potentially be the Holy Grail of housekeeping.
As Arian studied the boti more and more, he began to find confidence. He wanted to use the boti as a symbolic metaphysics-weapon against the blithe-complacency of consumerism-consciousness. Arian compared the boti to the scimitar (a curved blade-weapon not unlike his own sword)! Arian decided to craft a special curved blade similar to a scimitar and resembling the boti. He then got two tattoos of botis on his left and right shoulder and carried his scimitar-weapon to challenge the malicious mischief of Hobgoblin and Gray Goblin. When the two evil creatures (from another dimension!) asked why Arian the warrior was now wielding a scimitar and showcasing boti-tattoos on his shoulders, Arian explained that he was here as a 'consumer crusader' defying the evil-and-sin messages of Hobgoblin and Gray Goblin. The two evil creatures realized Arian was a real priest. All of this metaphysical 'energy' incurred the gracious spirit of a diving woman from heaven named Priscilla (a defender of kitchen labor!).
Priscilla was a beautiful young woman with flowing yellow-hair who believed that the true mission of Arian should be to properly defend the American consumer's right to cheer on the selling of labor-ideal kitchen-tools such as the Keurig coffee-maker and the Ninja blender. Priscilla explained to Arian that if he championed the labor-ethics of the Indian boti, she would marry him and heal his heart (which was scarred after the death of his beloved wife Madison) and make sure that his valiant son Damien grew to become a great man (and even find a trusted ally and friend!). Arian realized that he could win this great 'Hardware War' against Hobgoblin and Gray Goblin (especially with Priscilla's valuable help). Arian declared that his scimitar and praise of the Indian boti would exorcise the anti-capitalist demonic spirits of Hobgoblin and Gray Goblin. America would be safe from the destructive forces of vandalism...
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Cheers,
====
Arian was a powerful Eastern warrior who wielded a curved sword which he carried with great confidence. Arian wore a fancy robe and garb to signify his meditation on the potency and magic of warfare itself. Arian's son Damien was prophesied to one day become a great warrior and king, and Arian hoped Damien would also someday find a trusted-friend who would become his valuable war-ally. Arian focused his attention on a modern problem regarding the mass marketing of hardware tools across stores across consumerism-heavy America. Arian looked at the popularity of the Home Depot hardware stores and contemplated about how easy it was for any American consumer to purchase a dangerous tool such as a chainsaw or sledgehammer for 'personal use.'
As Arian studied these things, he had no conception about how correct he truly was (regarding the vulnerabilities of consumerism and the nearly-ominous accessibility of dangerous items in market-stores and online such as chainsaws and hand-guns. Who would regulate such mass shopping? These troubling times raised from the abyss of darkness two eerie demons known as Hobgoblin and Gray Goblin. Hobgoblin was an orange-garb wearing jet-glider soaring terror-artist who wielded pumpkin-bombs. Hobgoblin's message was one of anarchy and faithlessness, and he was obviously a symbol of modernism gluttony, and Arian wondered what Hobgoblin would do to exploit America's neglectful attitude towards the unsupervised sales of deadly tools and weapons such as chainsaws and hand-guns.
The Gray Goblin was just as ominous. The Gray Goblin was a gray-colored creature who also soared on a jet-glider and wielded pumpkin-bombs. However, while Hobgoblin represented pure anarchy, Gray Goblin represented brutish heresy and perdition. Gray Goblin's message was one of capitalism profiteerism and piracy, and Arian wondered if Gray Goblin would exploit America's blithely-complacent attitude towards the unsupervised distribution of deadly items such as chainsaws and hand-guns. Gray Goblin put a hex on American toy stores, so kids purchasing toy water-pistols during the hot summer months would brood about their parents abusing the conveniences of consumerism when they purchased deadly items such as chainsaws and hand-guns. Arian had to do something...
Arian decided to meditate on the distribution of kitchen-hardware only, since kitchen-tools while potentially deadly were perfect consumerism symbols of peace, homeliness, and labor optimism. Arian looked at the Keurig coffee-maker, the Ninja blender, and the Indian boti. Arian was particularly interested in the Indian boti (a basic blade-and-board kitchen-tool used for cutting foods on the floor with hand-and-foot), which was very popular among women in India laboring in the kitchen. However, Arian learned that the boti was quite deadly and if not used with great care, it could lead to terrible accidents, and indeed, many women in India laboring with the boti in the kitchen preparing meals for their families complained that the boti was very deadly and caused everyday cuts on hands and feet while using the item! Arian recognized that the boti was a 'commercial trophy' and could potentially be the Holy Grail of housekeeping.
As Arian studied the boti more and more, he began to find confidence. He wanted to use the boti as a symbolic metaphysics-weapon against the blithe-complacency of consumerism-consciousness. Arian compared the boti to the scimitar (a curved blade-weapon not unlike his own sword)! Arian decided to craft a special curved blade similar to a scimitar and resembling the boti. He then got two tattoos of botis on his left and right shoulder and carried his scimitar-weapon to challenge the malicious mischief of Hobgoblin and Gray Goblin. When the two evil creatures (from another dimension!) asked why Arian the warrior was now wielding a scimitar and showcasing boti-tattoos on his shoulders, Arian explained that he was here as a 'consumer crusader' defying the evil-and-sin messages of Hobgoblin and Gray Goblin. The two evil creatures realized Arian was a real priest. All of this metaphysical 'energy' incurred the gracious spirit of a diving woman from heaven named Priscilla (a defender of kitchen labor!).
Priscilla was a beautiful young woman with flowing yellow-hair who believed that the true mission of Arian should be to properly defend the American consumer's right to cheer on the selling of labor-ideal kitchen-tools such as the Keurig coffee-maker and the Ninja blender. Priscilla explained to Arian that if he championed the labor-ethics of the Indian boti, she would marry him and heal his heart (which was scarred after the death of his beloved wife Madison) and make sure that his valiant son Damien grew to become a great man (and even find a trusted ally and friend!). Arian realized that he could win this great 'Hardware War' against Hobgoblin and Gray Goblin (especially with Priscilla's valuable help). Arian declared that his scimitar and praise of the Indian boti would exorcise the anti-capitalist demonic spirits of Hobgoblin and Gray Goblin. America would be safe from the destructive forces of vandalism...
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