I am interested in your "best restaurant stories". Mine is the following.... Primanti Brothers on the strip in Pittsburgh. Let me set it up for you. When you see the restaurant you will look at it and question whether it's in your best interests to enter....go in anyhow. Expect no customer service at all. Remember you are inconveniencing them with your request to buy food and if they don't wish to serve you, you can fuck right off. Because of this before you approach the counter make sure you have your order ready so you don't delay them. When you approach the counter do not expect a "good evening, may I help you?" or anything like that. A big fat sweaty Italian guy will walk up and ask "whadda ya want?" You had better damn well know what you want or you will catch hell. Delays will result in statements like "come on guy I got customas waitin behind ya, make up ya mind". Further delays will result in them ordering for you. In that case expect kielbasa...the guy will scream "ya wanna kielbasa sandwich?" and before you get can out one syllable in response he will scream "Hey Sal...give this guy a kielbasa sandwich" and which point "Sal" will turn around and grunt. As you move down the counter try to soak in the atmosphere and talk to other customers. DO NOT look at the floor, the flattop, or anything having to do with the preparation of your food. Just trust me on this one. Your job at this point is to wait for "Sal" to scream at you "hey buddy..ya want fries?" Say "yes" At this point Sal will wipe the sweat off his brow with the palm of his hand and "clean" it off on his wife beater shirt that is equally as soaked in sweat, then immediately grab a handful of fries and smash them into your sandwich. Remind yourself at this point that it contributes to the flavor. Once Sal has jammed it into your hands go to a nearby table and spend a moment training your mind to ignore the hundreds of health department violations you have just witnessed.....keep your head down lest you witness more violations, a rape, or a murder....and take a bite..... it will all be worth it...it will be the best fucking kielbasa sandwich you have ever tasted in your life.....and you will happily put your life in jeopardy to eat there as often as possible. That's my story and I am sticking to it.