The Best Restaurant.....

Discussion in 'Food & Wine' started by BluePhantom, Nov 23, 2011.

  1. BluePhantom
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    BluePhantom Educator (of liberals)

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    I am interested in your "best restaurant stories". Mine is the following....

    Primanti Brothers on the strip in Pittsburgh. Let me set it up for you.

    When you see the restaurant you will look at it and question whether it's in your best interests to enter....go in anyhow.

    Expect no customer service at all. Remember you are inconveniencing them with your request to buy food and if they don't wish to serve you, you can fuck right off. Because of this before you approach the counter make sure you have your order ready so you don't delay them.

    When you approach the counter do not expect a "good evening, may I help you?" or anything like that. A big fat sweaty Italian guy will walk up and ask "whadda ya want?"

    You had better damn well know what you want or you will catch hell. Delays will result in statements like "come on guy I got customas waitin behind ya, make up ya mind".

    Further delays will result in them ordering for you. In that case expect kielbasa...the guy will scream "ya wanna kielbasa sandwich?" and before you get can out one syllable in response he will scream "Hey Sal...give this guy a kielbasa sandwich" and which point "Sal" will turn around and grunt.

    As you move down the counter try to soak in the atmosphere and talk to other customers. DO NOT look at the floor, the flattop, or anything having to do with the preparation of your food. Just trust me on this one. Your job at this point is to wait for "Sal" to scream at you "hey buddy..ya want fries?"

    Say "yes"

    At this point Sal will wipe the sweat off his brow with the palm of his hand and "clean" it off on his wife beater shirt that is equally as soaked in sweat, then immediately grab a handful of fries and smash them into your sandwich. Remind yourself at this point that it contributes to the flavor.

    Once Sal has jammed it into your hands go to a nearby table and spend a moment training your mind to ignore the hundreds of health department violations you have just witnessed.....keep your head down lest you witness more violations, a rape, or a murder....and take a bite.....

    it will all be worth it...it will be the best fucking kielbasa sandwich you have ever tasted in your life.....and you will happily put your life in jeopardy to eat there as often as possible.

    That's my story and I am sticking to it.

    :lol:
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2011
  2. Skull Pilot
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    Skull Pilot Platinum Member

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    While Primanti sandwiches are arguably the best on the planet, I wouldn't call the establishment a restaurant.
     
  3. BluePhantom
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    BluePhantom Educator (of liberals)

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    I see you have been there. :rofl:
     
  4. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    place in montreal like that.....but they are rude in french so i had no clue what they were saying...some smoke meat something...people stand in line to get in there....
     
  5. Douger
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  6. BluePhantom
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    BluePhantom Educator (of liberals)

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    I think my favorite "non-dive" restaurant is Mon Ami Gabi at Paris in Las Vegas. The food is solid enough but it's really the atmosphere. If you can score a sidewalk table you will have the Bellagio fountains right across the street. I took my fiance there for our first date...very romantic. Toasting champagne on a nice summer day as the fountains played "Time to Say Goodbye" is our favorite memory.
     
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  7. alan1
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    alan1 USMB Mod Staff Member Supporting Member

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    There is a Mexican dive right down the road from my house. They call themselves a Taqueria (and their tacos are good), but for the best meal you want to get the chile rojo, the chile verde or the camarones a la diabla. My favorite is the chile rojo.
    Most of the time I go there, I am the only non-hispanic customer.
    The lady that owns the place is hot, hot, hot -- her and her son are the only english speaking employees in the joint (I think her husband speaks english because he always glares at me when I flirt with his wife, but he won't admit to speaking english). All the waitresses are fat and ugly but they take good care of the customers. The owners husband does most of the cooking while she runs the cash register and directs the waitresses.
    If you feel up to it, the owners husband will arm wrestle you for the cost of the meal. If you win, your meal is free, if you lose, you pay double for the meal. The waitresses always cheer for me because they know that when I win they get a bigger tip. I'm about 50/50 on the arm wrestling. The owners son tells me I am the only person that can beat his dad half the time, most everybody else loses according to him.
     
  8. syrenn
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    syrenn BANNED

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    Mashed Cauliflower!
     
  9. alan1
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    alan1 USMB Mod Staff Member Supporting Member

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    The kids and I will be at The Paris next weekend
    Might check it out in a non-romantic sort of way. :lol:
     
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    If you are looking for family style Italian... not expensive and lots of it, give Battista's a try. Its just down half a block off the strip behind Harrass across from Ballies and before you get to the Sheraton... on Flamingo.

    Its more of a locals place believe it or not. The Ecuadorian guy is old and hysterical! Its endless cheep house wine, and something at the end called a "Homemade Cappuccino" that is more like hot chocolate. Make reservations...its always crowded
    .

    Battista's Hole in the Wall - Italian Restaurant - Las Vegas - Home
     

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