- Feb 12, 2007
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The 2010 Midterm Election 'Splained: It's the Barking Dog vs. The Zombie Apocalypse!
This column is a thing of beauty (excerpt):
...So the Democrats sucked. But not just plain old, usual politician sucked, but epic levels of suck where its hard to find an analog in human history that conveys the same level of suckitude. It was sheer incompetence plus arrogance and those things do not complement each other well. Were talking sucking that distorts time and space like a black hole.
Its Godzilla-smashing-through-a-city level of suck but a really patronizing Godzilla who says youre just too stupid and hateful to see all the buildings hes saved or created as he smashes everything apart. Or, to use Obamas favorite analogy, you have a car stuck in ditch, so you call the mechanic, but the only tool he brings with him is a sledgehammer. And then he smashes your car to pieces and charges you $100,000 for his service. Finally, he calls you racist for complaining. Obama and the Democrats have been so awful, its hard for the human brain to even comprehend.
But the Democrats will counter that the Republicans also suck. And while this is true, its not really going to help them. As I pointed out before, both a dog incessantly barking and a zombie apocalypse are things that everyone would agree suck. Yet no one during a zombie apocalypse, while hiding out in a boarded up mall, would turn to the other survivors and say, We dont want to kill all the zombies; then wed have to go back to being woken up at night by that annoying dog next door. But this is the best argument the Democrats can come up with. Remember how awful the Republicans and Bush were? You hated them. You dont want to go back to that. Yes, why would people want to go back to when 6% unemployment was considered high?
People do remember how much the Republicans suck, and they know where it tops out and that is nowhere near as bad as the Democrats are today. Like with the barking dog, its annoying, but you know its not going to cause the collapse of civilization as we know it. Not so with the zombie apocalypse; who knows how bad that could get if left to continue? Same with the Democrats and Obama; people have never dealt with anything this horrible their entire lives, and they arent that curious to see how much worse it can be.
So the Republicans kinda suck, and thats why theyre going to win huge this November. Because in the land of epic, mega, ultra, apocalyptic levels of sucking, those who kinda suck are king. Or at least are going to win in a landslide.
Because once the zombie apocalypse is over, the annoying neighbor dog is going to be music to your ears.
For a little while, at least.
Pajamas Media Republicans Kind of Suck … Which Is Why They Will Win Huge in November
This column is a thing of beauty (excerpt):
...So the Democrats sucked. But not just plain old, usual politician sucked, but epic levels of suck where its hard to find an analog in human history that conveys the same level of suckitude. It was sheer incompetence plus arrogance and those things do not complement each other well. Were talking sucking that distorts time and space like a black hole.
Its Godzilla-smashing-through-a-city level of suck but a really patronizing Godzilla who says youre just too stupid and hateful to see all the buildings hes saved or created as he smashes everything apart. Or, to use Obamas favorite analogy, you have a car stuck in ditch, so you call the mechanic, but the only tool he brings with him is a sledgehammer. And then he smashes your car to pieces and charges you $100,000 for his service. Finally, he calls you racist for complaining. Obama and the Democrats have been so awful, its hard for the human brain to even comprehend.
But the Democrats will counter that the Republicans also suck. And while this is true, its not really going to help them. As I pointed out before, both a dog incessantly barking and a zombie apocalypse are things that everyone would agree suck. Yet no one during a zombie apocalypse, while hiding out in a boarded up mall, would turn to the other survivors and say, We dont want to kill all the zombies; then wed have to go back to being woken up at night by that annoying dog next door. But this is the best argument the Democrats can come up with. Remember how awful the Republicans and Bush were? You hated them. You dont want to go back to that. Yes, why would people want to go back to when 6% unemployment was considered high?
People do remember how much the Republicans suck, and they know where it tops out and that is nowhere near as bad as the Democrats are today. Like with the barking dog, its annoying, but you know its not going to cause the collapse of civilization as we know it. Not so with the zombie apocalypse; who knows how bad that could get if left to continue? Same with the Democrats and Obama; people have never dealt with anything this horrible their entire lives, and they arent that curious to see how much worse it can be.
So the Republicans kinda suck, and thats why theyre going to win huge this November. Because in the land of epic, mega, ultra, apocalyptic levels of sucking, those who kinda suck are king. Or at least are going to win in a landslide.
Because once the zombie apocalypse is over, the annoying neighbor dog is going to be music to your ears.
For a little while, at least.
Pajamas Media Republicans Kind of Suck … Which Is Why They Will Win Huge in November
