The 15 Creepiest Vintage Ads Of All Time

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by paperview, Mar 8, 2010.

  1. paperview
    Offline

    paperview Life is Good

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2009
    Messages:
    9,896
    Thanks Received:
    1,885
    Trophy Points:
    245
    Location:
    the road less traveled
    Ratings:
    +2,064
    What do murder, pedophilia, suicide and a baby tiger have in common? They have all been used to sell stuff in these amazingly disturbing vintage ads!

    These are real, untouched advertisements from the good old days. It doesn't matter if it's lovely ladies or adorable clowns, somehow these old-time ad wizards found ways to traumatize us while pedaling everyday products.

    Enjoy them now, call your therapist later!

    15. White Bread Demon
    "Bread is swell, but what I'm really excited about is eating jelly made from the blood of the innocent!"
    [​IMG]

    14. French Suicide Sausage
    It's enough to make you want to eat Kosher forever.
    [​IMG]

    13. A Girl Around The House
    It's nice to have a girl around the house... especially if you are a psychopath serial killer who makes women into rugs!
    [​IMG]


    12. Chubby
    Who needs self-esteem when you can have a free fashion book for chubbies? Also, proving that advertising weight representation has always been screwed up, the girl pictured is totally not chubby.
    [​IMG]

    11. Christmas Weapons
    The family that guns together, has funs together.
    [​IMG]


    10. Eye patch. Shirt. Baby Tiger.
    Sexy?
    [​IMG]

    9. Chase & Sandborn Spanking
    She totally deserves it. Seriously, what kind of woman doesn't "store test" for fresher coffee?
    [​IMG]

    8. Fry's Chocolate Nightmare
    Nothing wants to make consumers buy chocolate more than 5 faces of a sickly kid looking 5 different shades of miserable.
    [​IMG]

    7. Root Beer Baby!
    Mama, please DO NOT give your baby another glass of Root Beer. It is clearly doing something horrible to him. He is terrifying.
    [​IMG]


    6. Locked Out
    You better wash out your privates with Lysol, or your husband will install cartoon locks on the door.
    [​IMG]

    5. Pears Soap Disaster
    "Pears Soap- now with such a soothing lather, you won't notice that your baby has gotten into a horrible accident!"
    [​IMG]

    4. Postage Meter Murder
    "Is it always illegal to kill a woman?" This is a truly important question and makes us want to buy a new postage meter.
    [​IMG]

    3. Shave Yourself
    The old man baby's gonna sing karaoke into a razor! Hooray!
    [​IMG]

    2. Baby Soft
    JonBenét Ramsey, eat your heart out. (Too soon?) This ad makes us want to scream, gouge out our eyes and then barf.
    [​IMG]

    1. Chocolate Poulain
    Drink that cocoa, or this clown will murder you in your sleep.
    [​IMG]

    Special thanks to Weirdomatic, Livejournal & the fabulous Plan 59 !
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 5
  2. Midnight Marauder
    Offline

    Midnight Marauder BANNED

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2009
    Messages:
    12,404
    Thanks Received:
    1,876
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ratings:
    +1,876
    [ame=http://youtube.com/watch?v=_3mw49mk_x0]YouTube - AFSCME[/ame]
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 3
  3. jillian
    Offline

    jillian Princess Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2006
    Messages:
    54,019
    Thanks Received:
    10,200
    Trophy Points:
    490
    Location:
    The Other Side of Paradise
    Ratings:
    +10,795
    The level of misogyny in those ads is amazing... as is the way children are treated.

    Gotta love 'the good old days'.
     
  4. paperview
    Offline

    paperview Life is Good

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2009
    Messages:
    9,896
    Thanks Received:
    1,885
    Trophy Points:
    245
    Location:
    the road less traveled
    Ratings:
    +2,064
    I know. The guy spanking his wife cause the coffee wasn't fresh has to be gold star winner.
     
  5. paperview
    Offline

    paperview Life is Good

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2009
    Messages:
    9,896
    Thanks Received:
    1,885
    Trophy Points:
    245
    Location:
    the road less traveled
    Ratings:
    +2,064
    [​IMG]
     
  6. AllieBaba
    Offline

    AllieBaba BANNED

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2007
    Messages:
    33,778
    Thanks Received:
    3,647
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ratings:
    +3,647
    I really don't get the Pears soap one.
     
  7. jillian
    Offline

    jillian Princess Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2006
    Messages:
    54,019
    Thanks Received:
    10,200
    Trophy Points:
    490
    Location:
    The Other Side of Paradise
    Ratings:
    +10,795
    that was pretty awful.. but they did that on The Lucy Show, too.

    And people bemoan how the 'social fabric' has deteriorated and that divorce rates have gone up.
     
  8. jillian
    Offline

    jillian Princess Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2006
    Messages:
    54,019
    Thanks Received:
    10,200
    Trophy Points:
    490
    Location:
    The Other Side of Paradise
    Ratings:
    +10,795
    I didn't either. It looked pretty abusive though.
     
  9. mudwhistle
    Offline

    mudwhistle Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2009
    Messages:
    45,063
    Thanks Received:
    7,529
    Trophy Points:
    262
    Location:
    Wetwang With Fimber, Yorkshire
    Ratings:
    +9,061
    Advertisers sometimes can be pretty demented.
     
  10. L.K.Eder
    Offline

    L.K.Eder unbannable non-troll

    Joined:
    May 29, 2009
    Messages:
    16,615
    Thanks Received:
    3,008
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    theartching thapphireth
    Ratings:
    +3,008
    [​IMG]

    ok,











    but what the flonz is this?:confused:

    [​IMG]
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 2

Share This Page

Search tags for this page

johnny rovatini