Terminology update

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Merlin1047, Jan 28, 2005.

  1. Merlin1047
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    Merlin1047 Senior Member

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    New Oxford Dictionary definitions

    AEROPLANE BLONDE One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black
    box'.

    AUSSIE KISS Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

    BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am in the morning.

    BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after
    booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how
    you got here, and where you've come from.

    BOBFOC Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

    BREAKING THE SEAL Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of
    drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the
    toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

    GOING FOR A McSHIT Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of
    buying food, you're just going to the crapper. If challenged by a pimply staff
    member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is
    known as a McShit with Lies.

    GREYHOUND A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

    JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical
    adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the
    badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to
    show their level of training.

    MILLENNIUM DOMES The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive
    when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nought in there worth
    seeing.

    MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

    MYSTERY BUS The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in
    the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
    people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

    MYSTERY TAXI The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before
    you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter
    in your bed instead.

    PEARL HARBOUR Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl
    Harbour" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air) (you have to be a history buff or over 50 to get this one)
    PICASSO BUM A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like
    she's got four buttocks.

    SALAD DODGER An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

    SALMON DAY The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only
    to get screwed and die.

    SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive woman.

    TART FUEL Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.
     
  2. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    This reads like it's composed by a Brit or an Irishman... funny though!
     
  3. no1tovote4
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    no1tovote4 VIP Member

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    Usually if you look down you can get a look at their BAKED BREAD. (Shoes so small the feet look like baked bread sticking out of the pan just after you get it out of the oven.)
     

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