Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by strollingbones, Nov 12, 2009.
Say it with a picture:
What's love got to do with it?
I woke up one morning, and turned my legs to the left to reach the floor. I was now sitting in the upright position, and with my right hand I massaged my temples as to tell my vessel, "wake the fuck up." My lips then widely opened, and my arms began to outstretch as though I were grabbing for two moths flying in seperate directions. Yea, this was just a yawn and a stretch.
I moon-walked to my refrigerator, letting off two "heeee, heee"'s along the way. "Oww!"(crotch grab). I looked inside of mini-Antarctica and felt utterly depressed upon realizing there was no milk for my protein shake. I then had to decide: a short walk to the corner store, or slit my own throat in the bathtub and die. I chose the former, and began down the stairs. At the twelfth step of fifteen, I realized I was still in my boxers and a tee-shirt that read "The Man," with an arrow up, and "The Legend," with an arrow down. I turned back up the stairs, a slight trip on the 7th, and put some coverage over mah bawwz! (my balls).
As I approached the store, there was a small fart-noise coming out of the drainage-cap on the corner. As I approached it, I saw two green fingers. It had the eyes and what-not of a human, but it was a Turtle! It spoke English, I was fucking shocked! It asked for pizza, but I insisted it was only 8:17 AM, Eastern Standard.
It asked me for a back massage, and strangely enough I still had morning wood. Nothing gets rid of Superman's morning wood short of a Mutant letting me bust on their soft chin, and so I climbed down into the sewer system. It was wild, I still felt kinda goofy talking to a Turtle, it happened to be a Ninja also. I began rubbing on its shell, and my Cadillac accidentally fell into the Garage. The Turtle let out a "whoooops!" as it stood slightly upright in surprise. I nutted instantly, stamina of a middle-school virgin.
Then, little fairies began flying out of Ninja Turtle's butt-hole, circling it and singing. With a few sprinkles of fairy-dust, the figure changed from a Turtle to a gorgeous blonde, about 5' 6" weighting 135 pounds with small D's.
Superman was in Love, and so he amputatel his pinky-toe figuring he didn't need one, gnawed off the flesh and blood, and bent it into an engagement Ring.
The rest is just a given, no?
I pushed the power button ...
Since telling many Citizens of Metropolis my engagement story, they've all inquired about the Milk. Fuck you think? I never miss my morning shake.
Pictures talk louder than words.
It was back in the 70's in the Old Times Square in New York City: pimps, hookers, peep shows and drug dealers galore...ahhh the good old days when New York City was a place you wanted to visit.
I saw her on the corner of the Port Authority in her fishnets, micro miniskirt, big Pam Greeg Afro and looked liked 38DD I fell in love instantly, it was just a question of how much this new love would cost and for how long and what was on the menu.
I tell you this brings back such sweet memories
My sense of humor is WAY too sensitive this morning, I'm out of rep ... happens once in a blue moon ... but yeah!
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