Teens views on violence in relationships disturbing.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by inquisitive, Feb 21, 2009.

  1. inquisitive
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    inquisitive Member

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    I wonder if it has to do with the absence of fathers in the home? Now that more women are working, less women stay in abusive relationships. However if ppl justify violence or see it as normal, we may be going backwards.

     
  2. Diuretic
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    Diuretic Permanently confused

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    I'm disgusted.
     
  3. Agnapostate
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    I saw no source for the claim that "1 in 10 teens suffer abuse in romantic relationships." I would question the veracity of that claim, considering the tactics used by some pollsters to artificially inflate the rate of teenage violence. For instance, the "abuse" referred to in this report could very well be nothing more than negative verbal remarks made on occasion, a polling tactic used in the past.

    Though it's somewhat dated, I've still found that YouthFacts has offered an analysis of teenage dating violence and abuse uncolored by the bias of the mass media: "Teen Dating violence": the invented "epidemic".

     
  4. Diuretic
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    Ease up Agna, no need to get so defensive. Allow me to suggest that this issue has been around a while and that it's almost an inter-generational thing. I appreciate your statistics but here's something from real life. In those areas of lower socio-economic conditions people don't live entirely private lives. If a woman is bashed and she is confident enough to trust the criminal justice system she will call the cops. Heck in those areas, in my experience, people call the cops for just about anything because they don't know who else to call and because they know cops understand them. That might sound paradoxical to you but I have a thousand personal anecdotes. And again from personal experience - not as a cop - women who are beaten up by their spouse in what Americans call "silk stocking districts" won't call the cops. There are a couple of reasons for that. One is that cops are lower in status and that means she will have to share familial confidences with someone of lower status. The second reason is that they're frightened that the cops will gossip (with good reason). So she goes to the family doctor, not the cops.

    Having said that let me put this in a generational aspect and explain why this is important. My father's generation and his before him though that a bit of smacking around the wife was alright. Not my father I hasten to add, broadly speaking his generation.

    If you've ever read "The Uses of Literacy" by Richard Hoggart you'll see that (it's an interesting book, it's been described as a book of two halves and it really is) when Hoggart is reflecting on his days growing up in the north of England that it was quite acceptable for a man to bash his wife now and again.

    My generation - I am a hated baby-boomer - grew up believing it was wrong to bash your wife. But it happens. However in my generation we hide it because we're ashamed when it happens - see my comments above. The problem here is that it would appear that bashing the mrs is being seen as acceptable again. I hope this is wrong, but I fear it's an accurate reporting of current attitudes among younger people. The way to sort that out is education and no denial. If it's not happening then fine, but if it is it has to be faced up to.
     
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  5. Agnapostate
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    Well, I don't know where these pollsters' analyses of "attitudes" are coming from, but I've seen little evidence of such "attitudes" translating into actual acts of violence. Hence, the fact remains that socioeconomic status is a far more pertinent factor here than age is.
     
  6. inquisitive
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    inquisitive Member

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    I always thought it was the other way around, that the older generation found hitting women to be a grave sin, of course I was born in the 70's so my knowledge is limited. I do know that when I was a teen sexual abuse amongst teens were more prevalent than physical abuse. Maybe it was just my circle but most of my friends had either been raped or sexually assaulted, and it was considered normal. So normal that when it happened it wasn't a big deal, and I'm speaking from personal experience as well.
     
  7. Diuretic
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    The experience of any individual in a particular cohort is their experience indeed. A casual observation by someone outside that cohort (eg baby boomer looking at gen z) isn't going to be very valid. That's sad that your cohort (and I'm not being condemnatory) sees sexual assault as being no big deal.

    On wife beating. No space or time to go into it in great depth except to say that the historical (western) attitude was that a wife was the property of a husband and that if you own someone then you can pretty much do what you like with them. That was a societal attitude. Thankfully societal attitudes can change (because people force those changes) and they did. It's no longer socially acceptable to beat your wife. So there's been a change from looking at wife beating as being normal to a situation where it's being viewed as deviant behaviour. Where once the beater was scene as a normal man administering necessary discipline now the man is viewed as a criminal and someone who either needs a bit of time in the slammer or some sort of assistance for mental problems. The generational shift from acceptance as normal to definition as deviant took some time. I sincerely hope that there isn't a re-definition of beating your spouse or partner as being "normal" in any generational cohort or socio-economic cohort.
     
  8. catzmeow
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    To be honest, I think that 1 in 10 is a significant improvement over previous generations.

    On the other hand, I do think that victims sometimes play a role in ramping up the emotionalism that leads to domestic violence, and failing to recognize that is problematic. I think both the perpetrator and the victim are looking for some kind of emotional catharsis.

    I've seen girls who didn't believe a guy loved them if he didn't act crazy jealous, including knocking her around a bit.
     
  9. KittenKoder
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    All I have to say is: more games. RPGs are the best but any old game would work. Give them better outlets and the kids will use them.
     

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