Survey on Polish jokes.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Cymbalista, Apr 20, 2010.

  1. Cymbalista
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    Cymbalista Rookie

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    Survey on Polish jokes.
    My name is Paweł Cymbalista. I live in Poland and I am a third year student of English philology. This year I am writing my BA degree paper on Polish-American jokes. I am conducting a survey concerning this issue and I would like to include your opinion in this study. This is anonymous questionnaire for research purpose only.


    1. Provide the following information about yourself:
    AGE: ………………………………………
    SEX (Male or Female): ………………………………………
    OCCUPATION: ………………………………………
    EDUCATION (choose): none, primary, secondary, higher, graduate, other
    CITY: ………………………………………

    2. Are you familiar with the term Polish joke ? Yes No
    ………………………………………
    3. How many Polish jokes do you know?
    ………………………………………
    4. What kind of Polish jokes do you know?
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    5. How do you understand the following Polish American jokes and anecdotes listed below.
    Military
    a) Polish firing squad, stands in a circle.
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    b) New Polish navy has glass bottom boats, to see to the old Polish navy.
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    c) Polish kamikaze flew 48 successful missions.
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    d) Q. How do you sink a Polish battleship?
    A. Put it in water.
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

    e) Q. Have you seen the Polish mine detector.
    A1: Put your fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot.
    A2: Start backing up and waving the detector in front of you.
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

    Polish, American, French, Russian, German, Black, White
    a) A Pole, English, and French guy are running away from the German
    soldiers when they come up to a forest and they decide to hide
    climbing a tree. When the Germans arrive, they go to the first tree
    where the English guy is, and shout, "We know you're up there; come
    down."
    The English guy, thinking fast, says, "Twit, twit, twit..."
    The Germans, thinking that it's a bird, move on to the next
    tree where the French guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up
    there; come down."
    The French guy, thinking fast, says, "Woo, woo, woo..."
    The Germans, thinking that it's an owl, move on to the next
    tree where the Polish guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up
    there; come down."
    The Polish guy thinks for a while and then says, "Moo, moo,
    moo..."
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    b) Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a
    Polak, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe
    says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
    The German responds, "I will take oil!"
    So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10
    times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his
    back, and he can hardly move.
    The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Polak, "What
    do you want on your back?"
    "I will take nothing!" says the Polak, and he stands there
    straight and takes his 10 lashings without a single flinch.
    "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the
    American.
    He responds, "I'll take the Polak!"
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    c) An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the
    Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind
    towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years,
    _but_ I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."
    The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!"
    His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.
    The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!"
    His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.
    The Polak says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!"
    His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.
    Five years later, the Germans come to release their
    prisoners. First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out
    totally drunk. Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out
    rather inebriated. Then, they release the Polak, who comes out and
    says, "Has anyone got a light?"
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………

    d) Three guys work on a construction site. One is white, one is black and one is Polish. The bell rings for lunch and the white man opens his lunch bag and sighs deeply, saying, "If my wife packs me a ham sandwich again tomorrow I'm jumping off the building." The black guy opens up his lunch, glares and says " If my wife packs me a ham sandwich again tomorrow, I'm going with you." The Polish man opens his lunch, pulls out another ham sandwich, and says "I'm with you guys."

    The next day the lunch bell rings. The white man opens his lunch. He says, "Turkey sandwich. I love my wife." The black guy opens his lunch. He says, "Chicken sandwich. I love my wife. The Polish man opened his lunchbox, looked stricken, and said "HAM AGAIN! See ya guys." With that, he jumped off the building. The black guy says " I feel sorry for him." The white man replies, "I'm not, he packs his own lunch."
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    Other
    a) What do you call a Polish guy wearing an $500 hat? Pope.
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    b) What does it say on the bottom of a Polish soda can? "Open other end."
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    c) Did you hear about the lazy Pole? He married a pregnant woman.
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    d) How do you get a one armed Polak out of a tree? Wave to him.
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    e) These two Polish men rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
    The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    f) Hear about the Polish 727 that crashed into a cemetery outside of Warsaw?
    So far they’ve recovered over 7000 bodies.
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

    6. After reading these jokes what is your attitude towards Polish people.
    ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    7. Use three adjectives to describe the Poles presented in the jokes above.
    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    8. Do you think that Polish jokes influence the image of Poland? Create a image of Poland and Polish people.
    ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………


    Thank you.
     
  2. Cymbalista
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    Cymbalista Rookie

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    Hey. :)
    I really need your help :)
    5 answers would be enough :)
    I will really apreciate if somone would help me.
    Thank you.
     
  3. 007
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    007 Charter Member Supporting Member

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    Here's one for ya... FUCK OFF.
     
  4. eagleseven
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    eagleseven Quod Erat Demonstrandum

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    Polish Jokes? They went out of style about 70 years ago. Blame Hitler and Stalin.

    95% of Americans don't give a damn about Poland.
     
  5. Douger
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    Douger BANNED

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    What's the difference betweeen a polish girl and an oven ?

    An oven doesn't fart when you pull out your meat.
     
  6. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    Yes, we probably all know a LOT of Polish jokes.

    ESPECIALLY if we have a Polish surname or one that passes as such to non-Slavs.

    We with Polish surnames or names that sound Polish to English speakers probably TELL most of the Polish jokes that are told in the USA.

    Nobody who isn't an ignoramous thinks Poles (in Poland or in America) are stupid.

    For the most part, most of the people I've known LIKE the Poles, and understand that they've gotten a raw deal in history.

    We still tell Polish jokes.

    Why?

    Because they're absurd plays on being stupid...not because we hate Poles.

    We also still tell Italian jokes even though most of us have nothing against Italians, and, Irish jokes, Chinese jokes and WASP jokes and Black jokes, and Jewish jokes, too.

    And they typically play off some ignorant stereotype that most people know is nothing BUT an ignorant stereotype, too.

    That's what happens when huge numbers of people from wildly different cultures live together.

    We mock each other.

    But when push to comes to shove, we're all AMERICANS first, and whatever else a very distant second.

    Here's a rough idea of the stereotypes that most ethnic jokes play off of

    Italians -- usually the sterotype is that Italians are dumb but dangerous mobsters

    Poles - Poles are typically cast as innocent fools

    Irish? - Usually cast as drunks

    Germans? -- Control freaking monsters

    French? Cowards and sex fiends

    Jews? Usually as cheapskates and/or racists

    White Anglo Saxons Protestants? - usually the joke is about their cluelessness racism and their being pampered rich people.

    Ethnic jokes play off stereotypes...stereotypes that only the truly racist or complete fools think bear any relationship to reality, I might add.

    We do exactly the same kind of jokes on occupations with stereotypes.

    Doctor jokes, engineer jokes, lawyer jokes as three examples.

    Yet we all know and like doctors, lawyers and engineers.

    Jokes like these aren't the threat to anybody.

    Repressing these kinds of jokes, however, is the threat to all of us.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  7. Ringel05
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    Ringel05 Diamond Member

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    DITTO!!

    [​IMG]
     
  8. eagleseven
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    eagleseven Quod Erat Demonstrandum

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    I thought Poles are white? The ones I know are very pale...
     
  9. manifold
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    manifold Diamond Member

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    True.

    But since the entire Polish government recently (and tragically) boarded the same damn flight, a resurgence of Poles being stupid jokes is a very real possibility.
     
  10. eagleseven
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    eagleseven Quod Erat Demonstrandum

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    And it was a soviet-era Tupolev...
     

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