Summer Classes for Men!

[random3434]

Summer Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By August 25, 2011
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures
and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And
Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Rememberin g Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven-- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined...
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to
the survivors.

 

[martybegan]

In retort: Classes for women:


Parallel parking in less than 10 moves: Advanced course

Accident avoidance, also know as "Just because it has a mirror on the rearview, doesnt mean you need to do makeup while driving your car"

Gravity is on your side: Lowering the toilet seat your damn self

Crisis management: Having the window blinds slightly uneven is not the end of the world

Making the impossible possible: Buying only the thing you planned on getting when shopping

Memory assistance: His mom used to remind him of all important dates/places, now that you married him, its your turn

Expanding your tastebuds, You asked him to cook, learn to enjoy his pepperoni and bacon tomato sauce on spaghetti.

Rules of the road: Why the speed limit is actually 10 MPH higher than posted

 

[Luissa]

In retort: Classes for women:


Parallel parking in less than 10 moves: Advanced course

Accident avoidance, also know as "Just because it has a mirror on the rearview, doesnt mean you need to do makeup while driving your car"

Gravity is on your side: Lowering the toilet seat your damn self

Crisis management: Having the window blinds slightly uneven is not the end of the world

Making the impossible possible: Buying only the thing you planned on getting when shopping

Memory assistance: His mom used to remind him of all important dates/places, now that you married him, its your turn

Expanding your tastebuds, You asked him to cook, learn to enjoy his pepperoni and bacon tomato sauce on spaghetti.

Rules of the road: Why the speed limit is actually 10 MPH higher than posted

I can parallel park better than most people, even men.