Stupid Human Tricks

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Shattered, Jul 10, 2005.

  1. Shattered
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    Shattered Guest

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    Darwin Awards ......2005 Yes, it's that magical time of the year again
    when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
    Here then, are the glorious winners:

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
    during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did
    something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
    tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

    And now, the honorable mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
    machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
    insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
    men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
    The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
    during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
    taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
    found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
    from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
    wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
    injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
    he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
    counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
    promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
    that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
    booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
    head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
    grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
    minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
    drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
    to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
    that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
    Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
    cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
    register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
    clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
    walked away.

    A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
    a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
    at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
    spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
    trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
    sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
    saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

    In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your
    friends and family ... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by
    chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be
    glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

    (Copied from an email - ignore the lack of paragraphing)
     
  2. MtnBiker
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    MtnBiker Senior Member

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    Avoid that restaurant. :D
     
  3. Shattered
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    My favorite. :rotflmao:
     
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    MtnBiker Senior Member

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    I just hope it wasn't his wife.
     
  5. Shattered
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    Well, if it was, she *probably* should have known better. :)
     
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    Yeah, she should have ran him over while she was taking the spot. :D
     
  7. Shattered
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    :shocked: You're terrible!
     
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    sometimes :halo:
     
  9. Shattered
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    [​IMG]
     

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